Broke mom justifying buying Lululemon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, nowhere in the article does it say she actually bought them. It says she had $58 and tried them on and loved them. Doesn't say she bought them.

Second, I read somewhere a year or so ago (and can vouch for this from personal experience) that poor people often spend money on frivolous stuff because they're so far in the hole that it seems impossible to get out. The $10 on McDonald's isn't going to pay the $200 light bill anyway, so might as well enjoy something in life, even if it's just dinner at a fast food place. If they save all their extra $5 bills, it's going to take a really long time to add up to anything substantial, whereas spending that $5 now, brings some temporary happiness.

I agree that saving is always better than spending on something you don't need (perhaps she could have, or even did, buy those shorts cheaper on eBay or poshmark, but went to the store to try them on), but it took me a long time to learn that.

There's a picture of them wearing the shorts. It doesn't look like a Lululemon store.

Doesn't look like a house or apartment where poor people live, either.

Dp. From the blog “ My daughter got a pair on that day and she got a few more on her birthday.”

[Anonymous]

Just because one person is doing this, doesn’t mean everyone or even most people registered for free gifts are doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because one person is doing this, doesn’t mean everyone or even most people registered for free gifts are doing this.

Agreed. But if you take a quick look at her twitter account, you'll see that they all took trips on a cruise and to great wolf lodge in the past 4 months. WTF? We don't even do that. And to ask for charity on top of that? And admit it? Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because one person is doing this, doesn’t mean everyone or even most people registered for free gifts are doing this.

Agreed. But if you take a quick look at her twitter account, you'll see that they all took trips on a cruise and to great wolf lodge in the past 4 months. WTF? We don't even do that. And to ask for charity on top of that? And admit it? Unreal.

And yet I bet she has cc debt and zero in 529’s.

[Anonymous]

This is “thinking poor”. I grew up with parents who married “very” young and always “thought poor”. My dad was in the trades and always made the bulk of his income during the summer. Every year my parents blew whatever money was in their pocket because they “needed a treat” or a “break from the stress”. Then every winter, our utilities would be turned off until they could scrape up the pennies, we would be hungry, have basically no Christmas presents and the bill collectors would be calling. Think they would learn after a few years? Nope. Now I have parents with debts who saved nothing for retirement.

Honestly, I think poor kids would be better off if this behavior was stigmatized a bit. Adults who behave like this need to learn a lesson about consequences and so do their kids. I took school very seriously and had lots of motivation to not end up like them (college, birth control and spending within means after paying my student loans).

Yes, kids want to belong, but making that happen can be a strong motivator to get a job and try in school. Instead we are teaching people how to game government, nonprofits and people on Gofundme to get what they want instead of fixing the things in their life that need to be fixed for the long-term.

[Anonymous]

I don't get the hoopla about those shorts. They aren't even flattering?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is “thinking poor”. I grew up with parents who married “very” young and always “thought poor”. My dad was in the trades and always made the bulk of his income during the summer. Every year my parents blew whatever money was in their pocket because they “needed a treat” or a “break from the stress”. Then every winter, our utilities would be turned off until they could scrape up the pennies, we would be hungry, have basically no Christmas presents and the bill collectors would be calling. Think they would learn after a few years? Nope. Now I have parents with debts who saved nothing for retirement.

Honestly, I think poor kids would be better off if this behavior was stigmatized a bit. Adults who behave like this need to learn a lesson about consequences and so do their kids. I took school very seriously and had lots of motivation to not end up like them (college, birth control and spending within means after paying my student loans).

Yes, kids want to belong, but making that happen can be a strong motivator to get a job and try in school. Instead we are teaching people how to game government, nonprofits and people on Gofundme to get what they want instead of fixing the things in their life that need to be fixed for the long-term.

Thank you for this phrase "thinking poor." You just helped me understand a friend of mine who makes the most ridiculous financial choices with the same kinds of explanations.

[Anonymous]

I got the impression she signed up for the angel tree to get the lululemon shorts.

I don’t get why everyone is so up in arms about this. Her daughter asked for the shorts. The article was her emotional journey towards accepting her situation and letting go of judgement. She even said, maybe one the rich moms in lululemon leggings would end up buying the shorts for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read this. by T McMillan Cottam.

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/why-do-poor-people-waste-money-on-luxury-goods

I do not know how much my mother spent on her camel colored cape or knee-high boots but I know that whatever she paid it returned in hard-to-measure dividends. How do you put a price on the double-take of a clerk at the welfare office who decides you might not be like those other trifling women in the waiting room and provides an extra bit of information about completing a form that you would not have known to ask about? What is the retail value of a school principal who defers a bit more to your child because your mother’s presentation of self signals that she might unleash the bureaucratic savvy of middle class parents to advocate for her child? I don’t know the price of these critical engagements with organizations and gatekeepers relative to our poverty when I was growing up. But, I am living proof of its investment yield.

Why do poor people make stupid, illogical decisions to buy status symbols? For the same reason all but only the most wealthy buy status symbols, I suppose. We want to belong. And, not just for the psychic rewards, but belonging to one group at the right time can mean the difference between unemployment and employment, a good job as opposed to a bad job, housing or a shelter, and so on.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband was hospitalized, she was going broke ... we did fundraisers to help her and her 3 children.... she would drive 1 hour out of this area to get her hair cut because every time she got her hair cut she would run into somebody she knew and they would shame her for spending money "on herself".

When I was out of work I still got my hair dyed and then would get blowouts for interviews. I have a big jewfro. When grey hair grows in, it's a different texture, that's thicker and kinkier and will not be tamed. I look TONS better with my grey hair dyed brown. I went to a hair school rather than a fancy salon, but I still went.

But I think this woman in the article is nuts. If she only had $40 for food, then how did she have $58 for shorts? When I was out of work I went three years without buying any new clothes at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I got the impression she signed up for the angel tree to get the lululemon shorts.

I don’t get why everyone is so up in arms about this. Her daughter asked for the shorts. The article was her emotional journey towards accepting her situation and letting go of judgement. She even said, maybe one the rich moms in lululemon leggings would end up buying the shorts for them.

She bought the shorts. “My daughter got a pair on that day and she got a few more on her birthday.”

[Anonymous]

I think this explains a lot.

https://www.popsugar.com/family/What-Like-Alcoholic-Parent-45547918

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I got the impression she signed up for the angel tree to get the lululemon shorts.

I don’t get why everyone is so up in arms about this. Her daughter asked for the shorts. The article was her emotional journey towards accepting her situation and letting go of judgement. She even said, maybe one the rich moms in lululemon leggings would end up buying the shorts for them.

I'm poor and have a 16 yr old daughter. And I have to say no to her all the time. "That would be really nice!" "Wow, I wish I could spend over $100 on a jacket for you from Urban Outfitters!" I say no all the time. DD rolls with it.

[Anonymous]

This woman has no shame. I grew up wearing off brands in an upper middle class school but my parents paid for all my college without loans. What a lousy entitled role model this woman is. I now have a lot of money - I still don’t shop at “lulu.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is “thinking poor”. I grew up with parents who married “very” young and always “thought poor”. My dad was in the trades and always made the bulk of his income during the summer. Every year my parents blew whatever money was in their pocket because they “needed a treat” or a “break from the stress”. Then every winter, our utilities would be turned off until they could scrape up the pennies, we would be hungry, have basically no Christmas presents and the bill collectors would be calling. Think they would learn after a few years? Nope. Now I have parents with debts who saved nothing for retirement.

Honestly, I think poor kids would be better off if this behavior was stigmatized a bit. Adults who behave like this need to learn a lesson about consequences and so do their kids. I took school very seriously and had lots of motivation to not end up like them (college, birth control and spending within means after paying my student loans).

Yes, kids want to belong, but making that happen can be a strong motivator to get a job and try in school. Instead we are teaching people how to game government, nonprofits and people on Gofundme to get what they want instead of fixing the things in their life that need to be fixed for the long-term.

Thank you for this phrase "thinking poor." You just helped me understand a friend of mine who makes the most ridiculous financial choices with the same kinds of explanations.

https://review.chicagobooth.edu/behavioral-science/2018/article/how-poverty-changes-your-mind-set