Involved grandparents nearby is such a gamechanger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

[Anonymous]

Water is Wet

Air is for Breathing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

I hope all of you with sons are taking notes. Men = basically useless. So it's not the fault of your future DILs if things are imbalanced. Men are selfish idiots and don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

+1. Her kids and grandchildren will end up with his assets. I’ve seen this happen several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Additional stable and loving adults in DC lives to expose them to different things, trusted and reliable backup childcare, gives Mom and Dad a break from cooking and ability to go out for date nights or weekends away. No wonder so many people move to be near their parents!

It's just using your parents to do your job. Grandparents are for fun, not to do your housework, cooking or free childcare!

Okay boomer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

Are you suggesting thatnshe died just to spite you and not be your maid, babysitter? Your in-laws reared their children and you should rear yours. They owe you nothing!

Logic isn’t your strong suit, is it, pp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. You make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

What sacrifices do you make for free help?!

NP here but we discuss leaving DC to be near my parents in a midwest state and it would definitely mean sacrifices. We'd take steps backwards in our careers, make less money, live in a place that is less progressive and interesting - but, we gain the benefits of close family. It is a hard choice.

You would get free childcare, maid service and generally having your parents do your job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even when your kids are in HS, it's really wonderful for them to know their grandparents and be able to see them for more frequent and shorter visits. My parents are in California and we don't get to see them very often. When we do go, the visits can actually be more stressful because we all have such high expectations. OTOH, my husband's parents are 20 minutes away, so we see them often -- they can catch a game of meet for one of the kids or meet us for an impromptu dinner -- and the stakes don't feel as high. If somebody's feeling tired or needs to cut out early to do HW, we can do that without causing hurt feelings or disappointment. DH and I have actually discussed moving to be near our kids when they start families of their own.

What would you do if one kid lived in Seattle and the other kid in Miami? And both started having kids of their own around the same time?

As someone who has grown kids, one newly married-the answer is I Don't Know! I mean I guess I'd be more likely to move near my daughter, assuming she'd need my help as a mom, and that son's (he's not married) wife would have her own mom or family.

But really, I just hope the kids all stay nearby!

[Anonymous]

My parents moved cross country to help us out and we are so grateful! They were there from 0-3, until DD went to preschool. It's been priceless to have free childcare that's from educated, loving providers. They helped with major milestones: sleep training, potty training, reading and also taught DD another language. They traveled with us on vacation and helped too. I really missed them when they moved back to San Diego but it gives us an excise to visit often, especially November - March when it's so nice to warm up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Additional stable and loving adults in DC lives to expose them to different things, trusted and reliable backup childcare, gives Mom and Dad a break from cooking and ability to go out for date nights or weekends away. No wonder so many people move to be near their parents!

It's just using your parents to do your job. Grandparents are for fun, not to do your housework, cooking or free childcare!

Okay boomer.

Ironically, my parents are boomers and they are planning to move near us in 6 months after my Dad retires. They want to be more involved with the grandkids!

I agree it’s a slippery slope into the “user” territory (I would never use my parents for free childcare for months or years). But it’s nice to get that support during a busy couple of weeks at work, for example. Or if you and DH want a weekend away to reconnect. And it’s nice for the grandkids to have a close relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

I hope all of you with sons are taking notes. Men = basically useless. So it's not the fault of your future DILs if things are imbalanced. Men are selfish idiots and don't care.

Your post is really offensive. This has nothing to do with sons. I am one who posted it. My mom is very selfish. I am a daughter. She prefers her boyfriend and his family (great for us as at this point I don't care). I took care of my MIL for a year in my home and many years after that in a nursing home. My husband is far from useless but I had the time, he didn't. He would have. He's a great father and husband. My Mom and Dad are both selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even when your kids are in HS, it's really wonderful for them to know their grandparents and be able to see them for more frequent and shorter visits. My parents are in California and we don't get to see them very often. When we do go, the visits can actually be more stressful because we all have such high expectations. OTOH, my husband's parents are 20 minutes away, so we see them often -- they can catch a game of meet for one of the kids or meet us for an impromptu dinner -- and the stakes don't feel as high. If somebody's feeling tired or needs to cut out early to do HW, we can do that without causing hurt feelings or disappointment. DH and I have actually discussed moving to be near our kids when they start families of their own.

What would you do if one kid lived in Seattle and the other kid in Miami? And both started having kids of their own around the same time?

As someone who has grown kids, one newly married-the answer is I Don't Know! I mean I guess I'd be more likely to move near my daughter, assuming she'd need my help as a mom, and that son's (he's not married) wife would have her own mom or family.

But really, I just hope the kids all stay nearby!

How sad for your son you will not support him but will your daughter. I hope your daughter is the one going to take care of you in your old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

I hope all of you with sons are taking notes. Men = basically useless. So it's not the fault of your future DILs if things are imbalanced. Men are selfish idiots and don't care.

What a dumba$$ stupid post PP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's just using your parents to do your job. Grandparents are for fun, not to do your housework, cooking or free childcare!

This totally depends on one's culture. But there's no free lunch -- if you're from one of the cultures where grandparents provide tons of free household labor, you'll be expected to do the same for your grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Similar boat. My kids are older (teens) but my father in law (widowed) married a woman with grandchildren of similar age. Every year they visit HER grandkids for holidays, birthdays, etc. But can't make it to my kids "once in a life time" events (high school graduation, confirmation, etc.) because HER grandkid's have a soccer game, or whatever "15 times every year" event they have going on.

I hope all of you with sons are taking notes. Men = basically useless. So it's not the fault of your future DILs if things are imbalanced. Men are selfish idiots and don't care.

What a dumba$$ stupid post PP!!

Haha, sorry #Boymom. The imbalance you will experience in your future is not solely the fault of your DIL who will place primacy on her own family. It's also on your son, who won't care enough to challenge that.