Didn’t miss DH while he was away?

[Anonymous]

My spouse travels a lot (almost every week). Now that the kids are no longer babies, it is pretty easy and we have a good routine. I always like when he is back, but I have no problem handling everything solo. It is good to be able to proceed with life.

[Anonymous]

Wow really? My DH was just away for 5 nights and we were all dying. Not really but you know what I mean.

[Anonymous]

The problem is not how you felt when he was away, the problem is how you felt when he got back.

[Anonymous]

I feel you. DH travels a lot and I look forward to having the evenings to myself. No cooking, no TV, and no moodiness from him. Heaven.

[Anonymous]

Last time my so-called DH traveled it was so nice I wished he didn’t have to return. Even googled plane crashes when he was almost due back to see if one had happened. Was a bit sad.

[Anonymous]

I’m the same way. My DH travels about a week a month for work. I only miss him in the senses that he makes my life easier, like that when he is gone I can’t leave DD to get exercise. I’m glad when he’s back because DD misses him. But I’m not sure what any of this means.

[Anonymous]

I don't miss my DW when one of us travels, but I do miss my kids. I'm not even particularly glad to see her upon return. She's not a mean or toxic personality. What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

I think different relationships have different thresholds for this. Both DH and I travel a bit for work and also take a few weeks in different places visiting far away family and we can’t always both get the time off together. I do miss him but Im also fine without him.
What you are describing would be in the range of normal for us, but maybe it is not for you. Regardless I would prioritize ‘bonding’ as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Married 15 years and I don't miss my wife when she travels. The house is calmer and I can watch sports/other stuff men watch when wives are away. Kids like Daddy time. I don't have illusions about divorce being this easy though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad for your kids, did you consider how they might feel not seeing their dad for that long?

Not OP but kids do just fine when it comes to work trips when they have a stable and loving parent managing the homefront. My dad was deployed six months to a year at a time (military), and we all managed.

I’m glad you all managed just fine, it’s oretty common knowledge that not all kids do.

It is not common knowledge that kids can't manage a ten day separation from a working parent with the other parent staying behind. That is the sign of a child that has a worrisome lack of resiliency.

NP here. Every child is different and respond differently to separation. Normal kids, at a certain age, cry when one of the parents goes on a 10-20 day trip. That is a sign of bonding with parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think different relationships have different thresholds for this. Both DH and I travel a bit for work and also take a few weeks in different places visiting far away family and we can’t always both get the time off together. I do miss him but Im also fine without him.
What you are describing would be in the range of normal for us, but maybe it is not for you. Regardless I would prioritize ‘bonding’ as soon as you can.

OP back again; we bonded early yesterday morning and once more before our dinner party, I feel way better.
Looking back on the 10 days he was gone I was just really busy and if I weren’t so I would have time to ruminate over how I missed him.
The tension between us I have come to figure out comes from one of our children and the dynamic she sets up when we are all altogether, I’m going to get working on that too.

Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think different relationships have different thresholds for this. Both DH and I travel a bit for work and also take a few weeks in different places visiting far away family and we can’t always both get the time off together. I do miss him but Im also fine without him.
What you are describing would be in the range of normal for us, but maybe it is not for you. Regardless I would prioritize ‘bonding’ as soon as you can.

OP back again; we bonded early yesterday morning and once more before our dinner party, I feel way better.
Looking back on the 10 days he was gone I was just really busy and if I weren’t so I would have time to ruminate over how I missed him.
The tension between us I have come to figure out comes from one of our children and the dynamic she sets up when we are all altogether, I’m going to get working on that too.

Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate them.

well that’s a happy ending, for once!

[Anonymous]

Song of a good, strong relationship. I mean you've been with him for 20 years! What's 10 days and I usually see the "missing" as some codependency infant relationship sign that young, insecure couples and spouses that are utterly incapable of doing anything on their own experience. Congrats on having a good marriage!

[Anonymous]

I've been married for 15 years. It's 10 days. It's not a big deal for a spouse or child to be apart that long. You people are weird.

[Anonymous]

23 years in and you are still "taking care of the children"? I'm guessing they are mostly self-sufficient at this point unless you had that little happy "mistake" at the end.