Spinoff: how do you bring up sensitive information to new partners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He went to hold my hand and wrapped his hand around my wrist. I nearly punched him. So that's how it came up.

I'd immediately next you if I were him. Don't need to deal with crazy.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He went to hold my hand and wrapped his hand around my wrist. I nearly punched him. So that's how it came up.

I'd immediately next you if I were him. Don't need to deal with crazy.

This

Wow.
1. This was over 15 years ago.
2. We're married now.
3. I still don't like having my wrists held.
4. That's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course, it should come up in conversation if you have a serious medical issue. But I wonder who those perfect people are who will immediately discount someone with bipolar or diabetes. I mean, it's not for everyone I get it. But who in their right mind can really say "nope, not dating anyone with a problem" right off the bat? Because we ALL deal with shit at one point or another in our life. We have situations that mold us and shape us. But it takes a special kind of immature, thoughtless, mindless moron to discount a person before you ever get a chance to know them.

It's not about not dating anyone with problem. People can be okay with some problems but not others. For example, dh has OCD (cleanliness/tidiness)- though he had it under control by the time we met. However, it is a part of him and will always affect his life and anyone who shares his life with. Some things took getting used but for most part, it did not bother me.

Otoh, in my early 20s, I dated a guy with ADD and related anxiety and depression. It was a horrible experience. It was one of the two relationships that I had that ended on bad terms. From that experience, I learned that I am, fundamentally, incapable of being in a relationship with someone with those particular mental disorders. That relationship literally brought out the worst in me.

I know what doesn't work for me so waste time? Unless it's just casual dating for sex and companionship with no expectation of deeper commitment, then it's nbd.

To me, it's no different than deal breakers based on religion, kids, money, etc.