Am I being petty? PTA

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are probably trying to spread out the coverage.

+100 Having served on PTA board for years now, this syncs with my experience. A parent who wants to volunteer is gold. No one is trying to exclude them!

+1

Maybe something else came up - another meeting - and they changed to accommodate that. I wouldn't take it personally at all.

[Anonymous]

How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

Which is allowed. This isn’t preschool and everyone doesn’t have to play with everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it's the PTA. Being petty is fitting in, so you go, girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

It's obviously a combo of things. They all signed up together on purpose, because they want to see each other/hang out. They don't *need* 3 volunteers for one slot, but they're combining social activity w/ helping out. Then someone else signs up for that slot and there are others that remain empty and they're like, okay cool, we'll swap to a different one. It's not anti-OP at all. It's just that they're a package deal and trying to spread coverage. Which is fine. I always try to coordinate my PTA signups with friends or other parents w/ kids in one of my kids' classes, because why wouldn't I prefer to do that?

[Anonymous]

I used to be on the board for the PTA and volunteered for the book fair every year. I took the shifts where no one was available. I also may have an appointment come up. A new person signing up at my same time slot would not make me switch. If another 2 slots were empty and suddenly one was now staffed, I may sign up for the other 2 empty time slots. Don't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

Again...if you are looking for insult, you will find it. So yes, they may have decided to hang out together while volunteering. And changed the slot to ensure more coverage, because...OP is now covering that slot. OP signed up for a slot that already had three people signed up for it. Realistically, why stay in a slot that has coverage when there are slots that don't? The likelihood that this is personal (or that they even thought of OP when they switched) is probably close to 0.

[Anonymous]

OP, I view volunteering at school events as my little way of contributing to the school community, nothing more, nothing less. I don't care if I meet good people, If I make friends or not, I go and do my bit and then I am outta there. Relax, go do your thing and come back, there is no reason to overthink this. You are an adult and school belongs to all parents, not just the PTA members.

[Anonymous]

OP, these three did not rearrange their schedules in order to avoid sharing a shift with you. More likely they saw someone else had volunteered and switched to a slot that didn’t have coverage. It’s possible they wanted to volunteer together for some reason, and that’s why they all changed (there are certain times at our book fair that are basically dead, so they can be a good chance to have a quick PTA work session while also providing volunteer coverage).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

Which is allowed. This isn’t preschool and everyone doesn’t have to play with everyone else.

True.
They don’t want to hang out with you, OP. I wouldn’t take it personally, but don’t waste your time trying to be friends with this bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

Which is allowed. This isn’t preschool and everyone doesn’t have to play with everyone else.

True.
They don’t want to hang out with you, OP. I wouldn’t take it personally, but don’t waste your time trying to be friends with this bunch.

This is so dumb and, frankly, really self-absorbed.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your PTA is anything like ours, five of the six board members work full- or part-time, as do the majority of the coordinators/committee chairs. They may also volunteer for other things as well. The type of people who volunteer to take on these significant volunteer roles tend to be the kind of people who sign up for lots of things because they enjoy being involved/helping out. We (I'm not a board member, but chair a couple of events) tend to be really busy -- which is our choice, but that doesn't mean we're not really busy. So when something like the book fair is going on, I sincerely want to meet new volunteers, get to know them, etc. But if we have a slow shift, it's possible that a work issue will have come up that needs to be addressed, or I really have to talk to Brenda who just stopped by because it will save me seven rounds of email later about some issue with the book fair. It is 100% not about you, and I'll feel bad that I'm all but ignoring you when you came out to help.

Also, if we have a bunch of people signed up for one shift and other shifts with no one, I will email people and ask if they're able to switch to help with coverage. I will tend to email the people I know rather than the people I don't know, however, because I'm more comfortable asking my friends for favors than random strangers. Again, it's not personal, it's just trying to get the job done for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people live this way? There are many other explanations that don't include them being mean. Why is this the conclusion you jump to? If you are looking for insult, yes, you will find it. I'm going to guess they are trying to spread out coverage. You signed up for a slot that had *3* other people in because it was convenient to you (I get it), BUT there are empty slots. Come on, OP.

Oh please. What other interpretations are there? If they wanted to spread out coverage, they would have signed up for three different shifts, not all together.
They want to hang out together, and OP isn’t part of their little group. Whether it’s personal to OP or not, I don’t know. But they are definitely sending a message that they are a closed group not open to new members.

Which is allowed. This isn’t preschool and everyone doesn’t have to play with everyone else.

True.
They don’t want to hang out with you, OP. I wouldn’t take it personally, but don’t waste your time trying to be friends with this bunch.

This is so dumb and, frankly, really self-absorbed.

Why? I’m busy and don’t see my friends as much as I’d like. I don’t have enough free time for a bunch of new friends. It’s ok, really.