15mo with nanny... how to schedule the day?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and disagree that the OP’s nanny is necessarily only walking to parks with the toddler to meet her friends. I’ve always taken my charges out for long walks and visits to the park from six-months on. And I stay engaged with my charge’s the entire time. It’s important for babies and toddlers to get out of the house! My current charge is just 12 months and knows his colors because I point them out on cars, trucks, signs, etc. We walk past a dog park and he’s thrilled to watch the dogs run around (and has been saying “doggie” since he was 10 months. He learned to crawl watching other babies crawl and does the sign language sign for “friend” when he sees another child. (So cute!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably has nanny friends at the park so she plans to just sit around and talk with her friends all day, while your kid roams barely supervised with the other kids. I’m a nanny and see this ALL THE TIME. There’s no reason a 15 month old needs to be at the park for hours on end. Maybe do a music class or story time at the library, invite play dates to the house so you can see what’s happening (nanny cams are key). Nanny can also do things like organise crafts to keep your child stimulated. A nature tray in the yard. So many things to do at home. No need to be sweating in a stroller or being paid to chat with her friends.

Just curious, how do you know the women you see are nannies and not grandmothers or mothers?

Racist much, PP?

Because I’m a NANNY so I know and speak to other NANNIES who identify themselves as OTHER NANNIES.

Moron much, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably has nanny friends at the park so she plans to just sit around and talk with her friends all day, while your kid roams barely supervised with the other kids. I’m a nanny and see this ALL THE TIME. There’s no reason a 15 month old needs to be at the park for hours on end. Maybe do a music class or story time at the library, invite play dates to the house so you can see what’s happening (nanny cams are key). Nanny can also do things like organise crafts to keep your child stimulated. A nature tray in the yard. So many things to do at home. No need to be sweating in a stroller or being paid to chat with her friends.

Just curious, how do you know the women you see are nannies and not grandmothers or mothers?

Racist much, PP?

Because I’m a NANNY so I know and speak to other NANNIES who identify themselves as OTHER NANNIES.

Moron much, PP?

Yeah, like anyone believes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and disagree that the OP’s nanny is necessarily only walking to parks with the toddler to meet her friends. I’ve always taken my charges out for long walks and visits to the park from six-months on. And I stay engaged with my charge’s the entire time. It’s important for babies and toddlers to get out of the house! My current charge is just 12 months and knows his colors because I point them out on cars, trucks, signs, etc. We walk past a dog park and he’s thrilled to watch the dogs run around (and has been saying “doggie” since he was 10 months. He learned to crawl watching other babies crawl and does the sign language sign for “friend” when he sees another child. (So cute!)

+1. I’ve surprised our nanny at the park, story times, and play spaces and she is pushing DS on the swings and sitting in sand with him, reading and engaged and on the floor playing with him and usually a few other crawlers.

Don’t assume your nanny is taking your toddler places for her own sake. DS has benefitted so much from their outings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you foreign-born, OP?

I wondered this myself. My Korean in-laws wanted our kids to stay at home all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP back. To be clear, it's not just about the amount of outside time, it's about sitting in a stroller for 1 hour round trip instead of playing with balls or picking up leaves and doing other interactive things more nearby. Nanny is on headphones during the entire walk (DH drove past them today and saw, and later saw her wearing the same headphones while playing in the field w/ him), and it's a 1 hour round trip, which on a very hot or very windy/cold day can be a bit much.

It's also the idea that she could be prioritizing her need to socialize over what's best for the kid, though getting outside is good for both!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. To be clear, it's not just about the amount of outside time, it's about sitting in a stroller for 1 hour round trip instead of playing with balls or picking up leaves and doing other interactive things more nearby. Nanny is on headphones during the entire walk (DH drove past them today and saw, and later saw her wearing the same headphones while playing in the field w/ him), and it's a 1 hour round trip, which on a very hot or very windy/cold day can be a bit much.

It's also the idea that she could be prioritizing her need to socialize over what's best for the kid, though getting outside is good for both!

Then hire a professional, career nanny who drives and sets up an appropriate schedule, which will include classes and activities that you cover the cost of. Given that you hired a nanny that doesn’t drive, I will assume that a professional nanny is out of your price range. So you want your kid at home all day every day? That will not work for anyone. What do you expect them to do for the next year? Honestly, how do you envision their days going?

As far as the headphones: I also walk when possible with my charges, easily 30 minutes one way. Sometimes I will catch up on a phone call while also interacting with the kids. Now that they are older, that happens less, but certainly never takes away from them. When I arrive to whatever activity we are doing, the headphones come out. I also only use one headphone so that I can maintain interaction with them as well as others around me.

I don’t think it is likely that you will find someone willing to stay home every day. That sounds awful for all involved. Oh, let’s go throw the ball in the backyard, again...

[Anonymous]

A couple of things: People need to get out of the house for their own mental health. You can't be cooped up all day 1-1 with a baby, toddler or older kids, that leads to burn out. Your nanny can't use the school playground because the playground is not age appropriate for your child, it would be dangerous and I bet you would be upset if she got hurt. She can't drive, so she needs to walk. Yes, it's 30 mins, but it's not unreasonable. I think if that was a high priority for you then you should have hired a nanny who drives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. To be clear, it's not just about the amount of outside time, it's about sitting in a stroller for 1 hour round trip instead of playing with balls or picking up leaves and doing other interactive things more nearby. Nanny is on headphones during the entire walk (DH drove past them today and saw, and later saw her wearing the same headphones while playing in the field w/ him), and it's a 1 hour round trip, which on a very hot or very windy/cold day can be a bit much.

It's also the idea that she could be prioritizing her need to socialize over what's best for the kid, though getting outside is good for both!

Again, the time is the stroller is great. But she absolutely should not be on headphones! That is dangerous and stupid.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the other posters. One hour in the stroller is not “great” especially with 0 interaction (even for a parent it would be hard to engage with the kid looking away from you). And honestly a 15mo can’t do so much at a playground that it justifies that long of a trip. You should find other nannies in your neighborhood and set up play dates inside. Presumably you and other parents have cameras. And you and DH should spend extensive time outside with DC yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the other posters. One hour in the stroller is not “great” especially with 0 interaction (even for a parent it would be hard to engage with the kid looking away from you). And honestly a 15mo can’t do so much at a playground that it justifies that long of a trip. You should find other nannies in your neighborhood and set up play dates inside. Presumably you and other parents have cameras. And you and DH should spend extensive time outside with DC yourself.

The non-engagement is the issue not the stroller time IMO. As a nanny, I point out trees, colors, buses, doggies, etc. to my charge while we walk to the park.

I also think it’s horribly dangerous to wear earphones while walking - for nannies and parents. When you’re pushing a stroller, the stroller and baby enter an intersection first. The caregiver has to be aware.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have activities near your home then you may not be a good fit for a nanny.

The fact that you just assume that the nanny should be fine being alone with your child all day (and think that is fine for your kid too) also tells me that you are probably not a good fit for a nanny.

The fact that you have what sounds like a pretty low-quality nanny is therefore not a surprise. Put your kid in a decent daycare instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. To be clear, it's not just about the amount of outside time, it's about sitting in a stroller for 1 hour round trip instead of playing with balls or picking up leaves and doing other interactive things more nearby. Nanny is on headphones during the entire walk (DH drove past them today and saw, and later saw her wearing the same headphones while playing in the field w/ him), and it's a 1 hour round trip, which on a very hot or very windy/cold day can be a bit much.

It's also the idea that she could be prioritizing her need to socialize over what's best for the kid, though getting outside is good for both!

I think your expectations are too high for the peanuts you are probably paying. There is nothing wrong with headphones and letting the kid observe the world in quiet.

[Anonymous]

I’m a parent and I went on long walks with my toddlers in the woods. They like observing new environments and seeing the animals and people.

I say this kindly, but your post sounds like you have no idea about children’s development and needs.

Keeping the baby at home all day sounds incredible depressing for the baby and the nanny. You’re setting up a situation where your child gets very little stimulation and exposure to other people and things. Your nanny is going to work extra hard just to avoid bad behavior every day. Honestly this sounds horrible. Can you put your kid in daycare? You have a nanny - which is usually better than daycare, but your cluelessness negates all the benefits of a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the other posters. One hour in the stroller is not “great” especially with 0 interaction (even for a parent it would be hard to engage with the kid looking away from you). And honestly a 15mo can’t do so much at a playground that it justifies that long of a trip. You should find other nannies in your neighborhood and set up play dates inside. Presumably you and other parents have cameras. And you and DH should spend extensive time outside with DC yourself.

The non-engagement is the issue not the stroller time IMO. As a nanny, I point out trees, colors, buses, doggies, etc. to my charge while we walk to the park.

I also think it’s horribly dangerous to wear earphones while walking - for nannies and parents. When you’re pushing a stroller, the stroller and baby enter an intersection first. The caregiver has to be aware.

You guys are ridiculous. I’m a parent. I don’t talk to my kids the entire time they’re in a stroller. That’s unnecessary and being outside is stimulus enough. I play with them at home and at the playground. This attitude that the baby constant interactions is crazy. It’s okay for the baby to just observe his environment on the walk to the playground.

OP, forcing your nanny to stay inside your house all day is a really really bad idea. You’re basically setting up your kid to have the worst possible experience.