Alzheimers and Dementia Care - what did your family do?
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Anonymous
Yes |
Anonymous
| We couldn't afford help and couldn't find a program to assist so when I was scared to leave my MIL home alone in our home we had to put her in a facility. Medicaid will pay for a nursing home/memory care but will not pay assisted living. They look at the 5 hold back and other things. |
Anonymous
Do you mean memory care at a nursing home is covered, but not memory care at an assisted living place? |
Anonymous
With Medicaid, not Medicare |
Anonymous
Both of my parents have dementia. We are having them age and place and we made sure they’re downstairs in their house is handicapped accessible. This meant we had to add a disabled bathroom on the first floor and a ramp at the back door. We hired an agency to have caretakers rotate on different shifts. I also visit two long weekends a month. I have two siblings and one visits every couple months and one visits twice a year. For about six months my parents kept throwing the caregivers out of the house at least a couple times a week but they haven’t done that in a while. We use Home Instead. It cost about 15,000 a month for two clients Around the clock care. We have read studies and talk to social workers and most evidence suggests it is best to age in place if possible but clearly that is very expensive. |
Anonymous
| 1038 here - Sorry for typos I’m dictating |
Anonymous
| Wow! That is expensive! But good for you and for them that you are able to manage it like that and have the $$. |
Anonymous
I am surprised by the research. We found aging in place there was too much time spent just sitting in front of the TV and sleeping. We did Senior daycare and then eventually residential. Much better for affect and socialization and few extreme tirades. (Of course they were better medicated). |
Anonymous
I get it but 2 people in assisted living would be $25K and 2 in skilled nursing closer to $40K |
Anonymous
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We're just blowing through all the money until Medicaid kicks in.
We talked to a few places and told them how much money there was and they told us whether she would be accepted or not. We didn't want to have to move her when her money ran out and they want to be sure that they will get enough of your money so it makes sense to keep her even when they are only getting money from Medicaid. The process took a lot of time and we were able to find an OK place, not too far away. |
Anonymous
| My FIL with dementia lives with us. Even though the initial move to our house was a reaction to an emergency it has been the best thing all around. Dad has a full-time caregiver with him, we basically reconstructed part of the house to give Dad a large suite that is as completely secure as any facility, and we get the opportunity to interact with him on a daily basis. I work full-time but when I get home then the care-giver goes off shift, and Dad and I are joined at the hip (I am better at being with Dad and dealing with his dementia than my husband and my husband picks up other household slack). I think that not only has Dad benefited tremendously from being in our home but our kids also have benefited from having him here. It is a lot of work but I wouldn't change any of our choices for all of the money in the world. It is the right choice for us. |
Anonymous
You are a saint. I hope your kids will care for you as much as you did for their grandfather. |
Anonymous
He doesn't have trouble sleeping at night? Most can't and from watching my MIL, I can't see how anyone on nightshift can have a daytime job. |
Anonymous
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I am a memory care worker and I can say with certainty that most families bring their loved ones to us way too late. Meaning after they wander outside and the police have to be called to find them. After they fall and break a hip. After they call you crying from the grocery store parking lot because they can’t remember how to get home. After the 5 fender benders.
Families 100% of the time mean well. They are trying to do what is best. They are trying to keep their loved one at home. They are absolutely doing what they think is right, even the family that rigged a seat belt on a recliner to keep their dad safe when they had to leave him to run errands. Or the family had a dog that barked when their mom tried to stand up that scared their mom into sitting back down to keep her from falling. I know they are all doing their best w a terrible terrible disease. I just always like to jump in as a caregiver that we love what we do, there are many different settings we could pick to work in and we pick memory care/dementia units, and we have the staffing, the tools, the medication, the rehab team, etc so we can do the work and you can enjoy your visits. Have dad visit mom every day. Come every day or just on weekends. But we are here for you. I agree that the very best scenario would be continuing care where as needs change, they can go to a different section with familiarity. |
Anonymous
We've been at this around 15 years. When Mom could no longer cook dinners we hired first caregiver to work 11:00 am - 6:00 pm M-F. She drove Mom around, to grocery store etc and prepared lunch and dinners M-F. On Fridays she prepared 2 dinners for Sat and Sun. Mom and Dad were on their own on the weekends. Dad took them to lunch Sat and Sun. We did this for a number of years. Then we transitioned to caregivers 11:00 am - 6:00 pm 7 days a week. We did this for a number of years. When Mom started eating cold raw oatmeal for breakfast we transitioned to caregivers 7:00 am - 7:00 pm 7 days a week. We did this for a number of years. When Dad crashed to the bathroom floor and had a heart attack we started overnight shift so then we had 24 hour care (one person on for 2 adults). Dad died after 6 months of this. I put cameras in the house. Mom has 24 hour care. She is late stage alzheimers/dementia. She still walks about 1/4 mile a day and eats on her own about 90% of time. WHAT WE'VE LEARNED THAT HELPED. 1. We give Mom 400 mg of magnesium glycinate at around 7:00 pm. She goes to bed at 8:00. She sleeps through the night. We've done this for years. Get the glycinate and it does not cause loose stools. It also helps with regularity. In winter we give earlier when it gets dark early we give her 200 mg at 4:00 pm and 200 mg at 6:00 pm. This helps with sundowners for a total of 400 mg per day. 2. D manoose to help prevent UTI's. Mom gets around 1/4 tsp daily mixed in water. It does not prevent them but greatly reduces them. 3. The color red.....Alzheimers patients can test normal on eye exams but have extreme problems with depth perception. Mom eats from red plate, silverware has red handles, we use red non skid rugs in bathrooms, changed out all toilet seats to red etc, etc, etc. 4. Walking outside and talking. A year ago Mom was probably walking 3/4 of a mile a day with caregivers. Now it is around 1/4 mile. I think outside exercise is key. We push Mom with activities and conversation. 5. Free Careplan software in house. Caregivers log their notes in Careplan and head caregiver and I can read them remotely. 6. We hire direct. When we started all of this we started at $15.00 per hour (about 10 years ago.). Now caregivers make $18 or $20. We almost never have turnover. We also provide caregivers meals in the house as Mom eats better when someone eats with her. I have a time clock system on cell phone in the house. Caregivers punch and data goes to payroll service. My Dad was a hardcore alcoholic. For many years the caregivers took care of both Mom and Dad (despite Dad saying he needed no care.) They worked hard. 7. I am out of state. I'm up there about 2 x per month. I'm working on clearing out the house at present and consolidating and simplifying Mom's financials. Good luck and God Bless! ****For the lady that has Mom in an attached unit to your home. If you can afford it when the time comes bring on someone to help Mom with evening. You may not need this for a number of years. |