Do you agree the student should take the lead on going to college?
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Anonymous
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I think that if she is not motivated to go to college and she has no real interest in pursuing a degree that she is going to be more easily caught up in the distractions of college life.
If she wants to start up her own business - let her try that now. Have her at least apply to some colleges so that will at least be an option for her. |
Anonymous
| She needs a college degree. Mandatory in my home. |
Anonymous
| I agree the process is overwhelming and do not think some parent facilitation is wrong, I have see lots of colleges with entrpreneurship focuses..maybe that is of interest. |
Anonymous
| How is it even an option to consider someone this bright not go to college? Doesn't make sense. If she has motivation issues, you help with every step. She'll keep maturing. If she isn't a senior yet, like other posters have said, start exploring nearby colleges, look at different majors and associated jobs, look for schools that will fit with her personality, walk beautiful campuses on beautiful fall days. |
Anonymous
| I love how the DD has written and sold software, but that’s not motivated enough for OP. Btw, at the school my DD just graduated from, designing and marketing software was THE defining characteristic of admitted students to the CS program. This program is world ranked with single digits admittance rate. OP just doesn’t want to “waste” money on the kid's future, imho. |
Anonymous
+1,000,000 |
Anonymous
| Some universities like Drexel and Northeastern have hands on internships built into their programs - perhaps that sort of approach would be more appealing. I'm sure there must be other schools that are more experiential and real world oriented to explore. |
Anonymous
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In the U.S. job market, unless you want to stay at middle-management or lower your entire career, you need a Bachelor's degree. Otherwise you are shut out of promotions in many careers. For the most part it doesn't even matter what the Bachelor's is in, except in some career paths. They mainly just filter that you have one period. Yes, there are the few exceptions of having a stellar career with no degree. But you can't count on yourself being that one exception. Meanwhile I've heard several personal stories over the years just with the people I have known of being skipped for promotions because they never got a Bachelor's degree.
I was doing a job search the other day and stumbled across postings for a Data Entry Clerk. Filter? Bachelor's Degree. For a job where that is not at all necessary. Down the road, they will greatly regret not being able to click that filter. If they change their mind and pursue a degree, they will be having to do it in the midst of juggling kids, supporting themselves, etc. |
Anonymous
| I'd push her to apply and give her support, but it sounds like a gap year would be great for her. |
Anonymous
| No. I would force it the best I could. I would not have gone as I struggled in school. Parents forced it. I did much better in college. |
Anonymous
| College is much more motivating for bright kids than college. |
Anonymous
| With my seemingly unmotivated one, I planned lunch dates with him so we could talk and work through the college planning cycle. I asked a lot of questions and tried to guide the conversation. Being in a neutral environment at a previously set time helped give him the structure needed. It could be your kid is just sort of a absent minded professor type (like mine who could get so absorbed in what was in front of him) and needs some low pressure guidance in order to focus on long term planning. I worried a bit about him going off to college with what I perceived to be living in a constant state of disorganization but he got through it, graduated and is successfully adulting with a great job as a software engineer. I think that ability to get lost in a task is a plus for that field. But perhaps perceived as a negative by more type A people like me. |
Anonymous
If she is in her own company, sure she doesn't need a degree but if she works for someone else she does. My husband has a CS degree. He has no issues getting jobs. A friend, who is equally as good, doesn't have his degree and has been laid off multiple times and lots of trouble getting jobs. Maybe early on its fine but as you get older it gets more competitive. Force it. |
Anonymous
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"If she is in her own company, sure she doesn't need a degree but if she works for someone else she does. My husband has a CS degree. He has no issues getting jobs. A friend, who is equally as good, doesn't have his degree and has been laid off multiple times and lots of trouble getting jobs. Maybe early on its fine but as you get older it gets more competitive. Force it."
Almost. You don't need to force her to get a degree but rather that she will 100% regret not getting a degree. This poster is 100% correct up until the last sentence. What she needs is a plan. Something like: 1. Call the year after she graduates from HS a "gap year". That means she needs to apply to college like everyone else but then defer enrolling for a year. Some schools may allow a second deferral, which might be useful so make sure she looks into that. She doesn't necessarily have to go to college, just have the option in writing from a college that she has deemed, the least objectionable. 2. All of this should be written out in a contract that assigns a certain ownership percentage of her "company" to her parents who are major investors, paying room and board. 3. During the "gap" she should work basically full time on developing an app or freelancing. She needs to understand that this year should be MORE work than going to college. More independence means more responsibility, period. She needs to have the idea that if she doesn't make it work in 15 months, that she needs to go to school hanging over her head. She needs to regularly give presentations on her progress to her "board of directors", her parents, to make sure she is on track. On track not only means, producing code, but also is keeping the books in order. 4. She should take 2 classes each semester at CC or the state school down the street. Most likely these should be business related and useful to her fledgling company. Anybody can make a little cash on the side that looks like a lot of money to someone who can't get an $18/hr job stocking selves. The trick comes when you do enough work and make enough money so that you want to move out of your parents basement, but still have to follow all the rules, pay taxes, insurance and hire an assistant to have enough time to do the work. 5. While the first few classes should be business related, the degree eventually can be in anything. If she thrives on this type of arrangement, depending on if she takes any classes over the summer, she could get her degree in 5 to 8 years at this rate. At that point, you can/should give your percentage of the company to her as a graduation present. Obviously, I just wrote this out as fast as I could type. She and you need to work this agreement out carefully, maybe even have a lawyer read it over. For the right situation, it can work wonders whether you actually implement it or just use it to get her to see the full picture. Good luck |
Anonymous
| I disagree that a college degree isn't necessary for CS. Any monkey can code, but learning to design and manage projects required higher level thinking and math skills. She needs formal training in CS if she wants to be a good programmer, instead of just a code monkey. And if she is going to run her own business, she needs some basic business classes. |