'That's inappropriate. If you're old enough to understand what throwing a fit means, you're old enough to stop right now. There are much better ways to solve your problems.'
Seriously stop this kind of commentary now or you will have a very rude tween. Also agree with pp about stopping which ever adult is saying this stuff in front of her. |
Seriously? Yes, we should be teaching kids coping mechanisms, but she's 3 YEARS OLD. I have a 3 year old and while I don't feed her tantrums by giving her what she's asking for, I also don't have the expectation that she won't sometimes throw tantrums. No 3 year old has the capacity to always control their emotions. |
"Here is your water bottle for today. Take it or leave it." |
I think OP meant "smart ass" |
This reminds of my DS at that age who used to tell me, e.g. upon returning from a grocery trip with Dad, "I saw a [treat] and Daddy wouldn't get it, so then I had to cry and cry and cry a lot so that I would get it." I'd be like yup, tho you're not exactly keeping your tactics stealth, kid... |
You know I'm going to be the dissenter here. It IS hilarious, but I am actually really happy when my just turned 4 year old is able to articulate and recognize her out-of-controllness.
The more you encourage this kind of communication the better they get at it. My very dramatic and emotional DD will now start melting down and then say (wail) something like, "I need to go have some time alone because I CAN'T CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW'. And then she will actually go to her room for 5-20 minutes until she feels more in control of herself. So while it is funny and totally repeated, I bet she also kind of does understand and is trying to articulate something complex and confusing to her but also something true. So I guess everyone here will call me a pushover but I would encourage that and continue the thought through in a conversation. Any ability to try to work towards deescalation instead of escalation is IMO a valuable skill and one worth pursuing! My DD does get sent to time out/her room for bad things on the regular FWIW but this tantrum self regulation has been a MAJOR help in our household because she knows that if she can figure out how to deescalate than we can move on without a punishment so she's been motivated to work at it. |
Is this a question or something for discussion? |
That’s awesome |
Mother, my emotional response to this provocative stimuli is poorly modulated due to my age and underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. With time and maturity as well as behavioral conditioning via proper parenting I will learn to regulate my emotional response but at this time I will throw a tantrum to express my anger, frustration, and deep disappointment in this situation. |
I don't agree with the smacking the butt, however what part of talking back without repercussions is NORMAL? Something definitely needed to be said to her. |
+1. I pretty much agree. We talk a lot about WHY we're feeling certain ways and my 3.5 year old will say, "I'm sad and crying because I'm so tired" or "because I miss gramma and I never get to see her" or whatever. Then I say, "let's take a rest, facetime gramma, etc." and SOMETIMES that helps the situation. But in general, I can say "you're really upset and yelling and crying. Are you feeling that way because _" and we can (usually) have a conversation or at least say "it's not okay to hit when you're mad, if you can't stop hitting you have to take a break in your room to calm down." |
And mom, your conflicted response to my use of age-inappropriate experiential self-observation has revealed your adult-centric bias, and provided me with a manipulative toolset to dominate our codependent relationship placing me in jeopardy ![]() |
'' It's funny. Ignore the chorus of posters who can't even try to be happy |
Settle down everyone, OP was talking about a three year old. |