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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know I'm going to be the dissenter here. It IS hilarious, but I am actually really happy when my just turned 4 year old is able to articulate and recognize her out-of-controllness.

The more you encourage this kind of communication the better they get at it. My very dramatic and emotional DD will now start melting down and then say (wail) something like, "I need to go have some time alone because I CAN'T CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW'. And then she will actually go to her room for 5-20 minutes until she feels more in control of herself.

So while it is funny and totally repeated, I bet she also kind of does understand and is trying to articulate something complex and confusing to her but also something true.

So I guess everyone here will call me a pushover but I would encourage that and continue the thought through in a conversation. Any ability to try to work towards deescalation instead of escalation is IMO a valuable skill and one worth pursuing!

My DD does get sent to time out/her room for bad things on the regular FWIW but this tantrum self regulation has been a MAJOR help in our household because she knows that if she can figure out how to deescalate than we can move on without a punishment so she's been motivated to work at it. [/quote]

+1. I pretty much agree. We talk a lot about WHY we're feeling certain ways and my 3.5 year old will say, "I'm sad and crying because I'm so tired" or "because I miss gramma and I never get to see her" or whatever. Then I say, "let's take a rest, facetime gramma, etc." and SOMETIMES that helps the situation. But in general, I can say "you're really upset and yelling and crying. Are you feeling that way because _" and we can (usually) have a conversation or at least say "it's not okay to hit when you're mad, if you can't stop hitting you have to take a break in your room to calm down."[/quote]

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