Talk about sex??

[Anonymous]

Talk now.

He needs information before he
* starts to formulate his own ideas about sex;
* decide how he wants to fit in with his peers (vs. forge his own path;
* treat girls and be treated by girls (or boys);
* engage in homophobic/nasty or non-phobic/mature behavior;
...and so on.

He needs a story line now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk now.

He needs information before he
* starts to formulate his own ideas about sex;
* decide how he wants to fit in with his peers (vs. forge his own path;
* treat girls and be treated by girls (or boys);
* engage in homophobic/nasty or non-phobic/mature behavior;
...and so on.

He needs a story line now.

ps: And he should know how babies are made, diseases are caught, and so on. Now is a good time to tell him the nitty gritty, if he doesn't know already. Don't asume he does if you haven't told him. I knew plenty of teens when I was a teacher who had all kinds of weird ideas about birth control and what could protect agains STDs.

[Anonymous]

somebody here

[Anonymous]

12 is too late. By 12 they are already have misinformation in the heads.

[Anonymous]

[code][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I agree that 12 is way too late. My brother had his first sexual experience when he was 12 or 13. And he wasn't the first boy in his class either.[/quote]

[Anonymous]

My brother was in 7th or 8th grade when he first had sex. We went to a Catholic school too. In my class, 2 kids had sex in 8th grade. 12 is too late for the talk. Think of how much they have already heard from their friends (much of it is probably incorrect anyway).

[Anonymous]

I think 6 or 7 is better -- but definitely when the ask.

[Anonymous]

we have three boys the oldest of which is 8. We had the "technical" sex talk when he was 7. His 5 year old brother was also listening. I have always answered all of their questions honestly and am not embarrassed to talk about anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before 12 in my estimation. From my own experience, some kids will be becoming sexually active around twelve. Lots of parents become less vigilant as their kids get older and don't supervise as well so there are greater opportunities and boys and girls spend more time together in groups beginning around this age. Kids with older brothers and sisters have closer proximity to teen sexual activity and so may be more interested and more pointed about having the same experiences that their older sibling is having or that they are seeing or overhearing. Your son will know at least one kid in their school who comes home to an empty house in their tween and teenage years. He will know at least one other kid where anything goes at that family's house.

Also, there was a really great article a few years ago in the Post talking about middle school kids becoming sexually active and talking about sex, sexual topics, etc. constantly to one another. The reporter spent part of the day with an 8th grade girl who was apparently propositioned for blowjobs multiple times per day all in a casual, passing manner. I remember reading it and thinking on no day in my adult life would an adult male EVER think it was acceptable to tell me he was "ready for a hummer" as I breezed past his open office door.

THis is actually laugh-out -loud funny....trying and failing to imagine it.

Othe other hand, totally shocking that this routinely occurs in schools!

[Anonymous]

You really need to talk about relationships, ask questions, know who is driving your child. There are sexual predators who will take advantage of girls age 12-14 . Last summer a 17 yr old [about 2 months short of 18] messed with a young looking and vulnerable girl who just graduated from 8th grade. Same guy was known for whipping out his privates and forcing BJ's in middle school to peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are great books to give your child to get this conversation started:

It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families: appropriate for ages 7 and up.
http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260820403&sr=8-3


It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health: appropriate for ages 9 and up
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763624330/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260820473&sr=8-4

I bought these books, and never gave them to my kids. Although they do have some great content, I really could do without the illustrations of cartoon men/women masturbating (both man and woman) and naked and on top of each other in bed. I am all for my kids knowing how it works, but cartoon or not, I don't think they need to see it in action.

[Anonymous]

Twelve is too late. My son's been getting reasonable age-appropriate talks for a long time. He is eleven. He starts middle school next year, so I will be ratcheting it up this summer so that he starts school with facts.

16:01 did good. Simple words, no freak out, the kid now knows in an age appropriate way (there will be more detail later), and the child didn't walk away thinking it was a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before 12 in my estimation. From my own experience, some kids will be becoming sexually active around twelve. Lots of parents become less vigilant as their kids get older and don't supervise as well so there are greater opportunities and boys and girls spend more time together in groups beginning around this age. Kids with older brothers and sisters have closer proximity to teen sexual activity and so may be more interested and more pointed about having the same experiences that their older sibling is having or that they are seeing or overhearing. Your son will know at least one kid in their school who comes home to an empty house in their tween and teenage years. He will know at least one other kid where anything goes at that family's house.

Also, there was a really great article a few years ago in the Post talking about middle school kids becoming sexually active and talking about sex, sexual topics, etc. constantly to one another. The reporter spent part of the day with an 8th grade girl who was apparently propositioned for blowjobs multiple times per day all in a casual, passing manner. I remember reading it and thinking on no day in my adult life would an adult male EVER think it was acceptable to tell me he was "ready for a hummer" as I breezed past his open office door.

THis is actually laugh-out -loud funny....trying and failing to imagine it.

Othe other hand, totally shocking that this routinely occurs in schools!

OMG, petrified to hear that an 8th grader is propositioned for BJs multiple times a day in school. How is it that girls go to school in an environment that would be considered major sexual harassment if it occurred in the workplace, but it doesn't seem unusual to the girls, boys or staff? My DC is about to enter middle school, and I would be heartbroken to learn this is the environment she would have to spend 8 hours a day in.

[Anonymous]

I did a 2 month teaching contract in a grade 7-8 class and the number of those kids who were sexually active was shocking to me. The kids were 13-14 - some were having intercourse, and lots of the girls were giving blowjobs to the boys and to older boys. There was a lot of sex talk and even sexting and pictures being passed around. Some of the girls kind of went from guy to guy to guy and were always worried about getting pregnant and STDs...I don't think protection was big in this age group. It is kind of a scary thing - the boys don't see themselves at all as taking advantage of the girls as they are just trying to be cool, cope with peer pressure and avoid being bullied by doing what they think is expected of them (getting BJs). Some of the kids were pretty vulnerable due to home circumstances and it was really sad all around. Having come from a school were kissing was a big deal in 7-8 grade, this school was an eye opener to what is going on in middle schools.