Generation X parents of highschoolers, do teens party less now than we did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least in this go-go-go area, I think more teens, if they don't have jobs, have committed, time-consuming activities than many of us did as teens. Yes, lots of us played sports or danced or did clubs of various kinds, but overall now it seems many teens' activities -- if they're into activities -- keep them busier more hours and expect more serious commitment. Our DC was in an activity (not a sport) through HS that took up 90 minutes to three hours, four to five days a week, fall through June, and more hours at certain times of year. The parents all noticed that these kids tended to be too busy to have much hanging out time, didn't party, and considering what a few of DC's less busy classmates got up to outside school, we were glad our kids didn't do a lot of random hanging out wherever, whenever, with whoever was around. Yeah, I know someone will post that "teens need to hang out and not be so scheduled!" But DC did have time to do other things--just not a lot of it, between the activity and homework.

This is just what we observed for our particular kids, and doesn't apply to every family, FWIW. I did hear simiar things from parents with kids in different types of activities.

The Post has an article today about teens delaying "adult" responsibilities but the experts they quote don't say it's necessarily a bad thing. One thing mentioned is that many of these "delayed" kids experiment less with sex, alcohol and drugs now as teens. Fine with me, but then, I don't buy the claim by some DCUM posters that teens who don't date a lot, try drinking, try pot, etc. in HS will "go hog wild" in college.

OP here, I don't buy that claim either. I have to admit, as a parent I'm glad that teens aren't as wild as they used to be, but I sure do have some fond memories of doing things, that I would never want my teens to do now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids just entered college. When they were in high school I would check their phones regularly, texts, photos, everything. I used to joke with them that they weren't even doing half the crap we did in the 80s. I think there is some research though that backs it up as well.

However I would argue that these kids are more stressed and as a result have more mental health issues.

I'll also co-sign on the drinking in college - that seems definitely worse these days.

I don't think kids have more mental health issues. I do think we/schools coddle them into thinking it's OK to display mental health problems, and that there's a certain subculture in which some of them wallow in it know it's a way to get attention if they start talking about self-harm, etc.

[Anonymous]

DH didn't party at all, I did a little, but mostly in college. Our kids are far too busy building imaginary worlds on line after their "over-scheduled, 10x-more-homework-than-we-had" lives to party.

I think, as in every generation, there are kids who party and kids who don't. Half of my nieces/nephews party, half don't.

[Anonymous]

Everything has some sort of criminal repercussion to it now. I remember a cop caught me underage when I was a teen. He kicked me out and gave me a stern lecture. I didn't do it again. Now, I'm sure that same cop would have arrested me and I'd have it on my record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re using pills instead. less messy and easier to hide.

You act like Gen X'ers did not pop pills.

We drank cough syrup with codeine

Yes. Maybe the rich ones back in the day did pills.

speed was big Valium, mushrooms and coke.

Hard core kids did meth.

Really, I never heard about meth at all in the 80's. I recall coke being fairly mainstream until the late 80's, and at that point it became a more hard core drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids just entered college. When they were in high school I would check their phones regularly, texts, photos, everything. I used to joke with them that they weren't even doing half the crap we did in the 80s. I think there is some research though that backs it up as well.

However I would argue that these kids are more stressed and as a result have more mental health issues.

I'll also co-sign on the drinking in college - that seems definitely worse these days.

Really worse? I doubt that. I don't see how it can actually be worse than what it used to be. Not to stir up any negative feelings, but I remember when the Kavanaugh hearing were going on thinking about how the drinking/party culture that seemed to be the norm at his HS basically reflected my own experience. I just don't get the feeling that the average kid is still going to parties and getting wasted every weekend, like they used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have more homework.

I think the biggest difference is that my kid grew up with public transportation to wholesome stuff, and kids had a bit of money in their pockets to do things.

When I grew up, all we had when we wanted to be away from parents was the wilderness reserve and the cliffs. And our only entertainment came in a bottle.

I think it has to be more than just that. Prior to the late 60's teens weren't wild and most didn't grow up with public transportation and more money to do things. I think it's more of an overall cultural shift. In the 80's even if teens had easier access to "wholesome" activities, I still think they would have chosen to do the fun stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just entered college. When they were in high school I would check their phones regularly, texts, photos, everything. I used to joke with them that they weren't even doing half the crap we did in the 80s. I think there is some research though that backs it up as well.

However I would argue that these kids are more stressed and as a result have more mental health issues.

I'll also co-sign on the drinking in college - that seems definitely worse these days.

I don't think kids have more mental health issues. I do think we/schools coddle them into thinking it's OK to display mental health problems, and that there's a certain subculture in which some of them wallow in it know it's a way to get attention if they start talking about self-harm, etc.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re using pills instead. less messy and easier to hide.

You act like Gen X'ers did not pop pills.

We drank cough syrup with codeine

Yes. Maybe the rich ones back in the day did pills.

speed was big Valium, mushrooms and coke.

Hard core kids did meth.

Really, I never heard about meth at all in the 80's. I recall coke being fairly mainstream until the late 80's, and at that point it became a more hard core drug.

Maybe it was a west coast thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just entered college. When they were in high school I would check their phones regularly, texts, photos, everything. I used to joke with them that they weren't even doing half the crap we did in the 80s. I think there is some research though that backs it up as well.

However I would argue that these kids are more stressed and as a result have more mental health issues.

I'll also co-sign on the drinking in college - that seems definitely worse these days.

I don't think kids have more mental health issues. I do think we/schools coddle them into thinking it's OK to display mental health problems, and that there's a certain subculture in which some of them wallow in it know it's a way to get attention if they start talking about self-harm, etc.

+1000

-1000

it's just okay to see help now .. you guys are crazy if you think kids are seeking attention.

[Anonymous]

I think the parents posting that their kids are too busy to drink and smoke pot are delusional. You have freshman and sophomores or you are completely clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything has some sort of criminal repercussion to it now. I remember a cop caught me underage when I was a teen. He kicked me out and gave me a stern lecture. I didn't do it again. Now, I'm sure that same cop would have arrested me and I'd have it on my record.

Where I lived in the 80s, cops arrested kids who were obviously drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just entered college. When they were in high school I would check their phones regularly, texts, photos, everything. I used to joke with them that they weren't even doing half the crap we did in the 80s. I think there is some research though that backs it up as well.

However I would argue that these kids are more stressed and as a result have more mental health issues.

I'll also co-sign on the drinking in college - that seems definitely worse these days.

I don't think kids have more mental health issues. I do think we/schools coddle them into thinking it's OK to display mental health problems, and that there's a certain subculture in which some of them wallow in it know it's a way to get attention if they start talking about self-harm, etc.

+1000

-1000

it's just okay to see help now .. you guys are crazy if you think kids are seeking attention.

See, someone who buys into that bullshit wouldn't throw around the word "crazy" so cavalierly.

Just wait until they spend an entire month on things like suicide prevention in high school. It's complete overkill and it's counterproductive. There's a fine line between awareness and fetishizing it, and I am afraid that a lot of the "awareness" activities cross it. Factor in entertainment (series like 13 Reasons Why and other movies that sort of glamorize mental illness) and social media with access to cesspools like Reddit, and, yes, it's hard to separate the legitimately mental ill from the attention seekers. Some of these kids just need to toughen up and suck it up and take some personal responsibility rather than be enabled by adults when they go looking for excuses for their poor behavior/performance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents posting that their kids are too busy to drink and smoke pot are delusional. You have freshman and sophomores or you are completely clueless.

No, we aren't. I'm one of them, and my kids are at a tiny school, leaving the house at 6:30 and retuning after sports practice at 7, eating dinner with us, and then studying until lights out. The just aren't at the point yet where they are hanging out in random places unsupervised, even on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents posting that their kids are too busy to drink and smoke pot are delusional. You have freshman and sophomores or you are completely clueless.

Having you read the thread about teens dating in HS? Look at all the parents who are claiming that their 17 year olds have never dated. In the 80's a 17 year old who had never dated would have been quite unusual.
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