MIL keeps commenting on my weight gain, bump size, what I’m eating...

[Anonymous]

So my issue wasn't my MIL, but my step-mother. She is VERY concerned about size, and I knew this before. I'd just say "YUP I'M HUGE!" with grin on my face and then keep moving.

Sometimes I'd say things like "every pregnancy is different!" or "we're allll healthy!" and move along.

But honestly, thick skin. You are healthy, you KNOW THAT, so stop letting her stupid comments send you into a tizzy. Because they are just stupid comments. Acknowledge that and move along.

[Anonymous]

I actually used to make comments like this and had NO idea it was rude until a friend of mine told me this bothered her. (I had never said it to her - she was complaining about other people saying it.) I guess I just figured that when you are pregnant, yeah, of course you are looking big, you are supposed to because you are pregnant! So it's ok to say that because you are just making convo because it is OK to look big when you are pregnant.

Now I never make these comments, after what my friend told me. But I really was just clueless before.

[Anonymous]

She’s making conversation. Sounds like you’re oversensitive. Stop looking for reasons to be offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s making conversation. Sounds like you’re oversensitive. Stop looking for reasons to be offended.

It is inappropriate to comment on people's bodies. They are being offensive when they do that.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has a similar MIL, the only solution I've found is for DH to have a very frank conversation with his mother about how she's being rude. If he won't, or it doesn't stop, I'd just say away from her as much as possible for the rest of the vacation. It's your vacation, too. You shouldn't have to sit there while she comments on these things.

[Anonymous]

Another option: “Yes, and I believe that’s the twentieth time you have said that their trip. Can you drop it?”

[Anonymous]

My MIL was the worst. She would compare me to other family members and brag about how 'no one could even tell Suzie was pregnant." Yes, but Suzie's baby weighed 3 pounds and has some rather serious medical issues, so I"m not actually convinced that Suzie "won" anything by working so hard at not looking pregnant.
In retrospect it's obvious that all of the commenting was about MIL's body issues and actually had nothing to do with me. However, now when she sets up these little "Contests" between family members I always loudly proclaim: Yes, you're right! Suzie's the winner! Suzie wins! Good thing I"m not a sore loser and then walk away.
MIL enjoys setting up competitions about who has a nicer house, nicer car, smarter children, etc. Sad, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s making conversation. Sounds like you’re oversensitive. Stop looking for reasons to be offended.

It is inappropriate to comment on people's bodies. They are being offensive when they do that.

Snowflake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my issue wasn't my MIL, but my step-mother. She is VERY concerned about size, and I knew this before. I'd just say "YUP I'M HUGE!" with grin on my face and then keep moving.

Yup. Make like a pick up artist. Take that shit test and Agree and Amplify it

[Anonymous]

What I'd probably say "listen, G, it's enough already" (and she'd cut it out luckily). What I should say ("hey, G, I'm feeling emotional and struggling enough as is, can you cut me some slack, everything will be fine but I need a break from the comments right now")

[Anonymous]

Please tell us about MIL's perfect body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re on vacation with my in-laws and I’m pregnant with my third. I’m having a very hard pregnancy and have SPD so I’m struggling with pelvic pain and general discomfort, and I feel huge. I’ve been through this enough to know it’s temporary, and not to stress about the weight gain, or my size, or stupid comments from strangers about my body, but I’m really struggling with my MILs comments about how she cannot believe I have almost three months left I’m SO huge, and I look like I’ve gained more weight than I did with my others, and the doctors must be concerned about baby’s size because I’m so big, etc.

Not that it matters, but I’m normally pretty lean and athletic, and I’ve gained no more weight than I had at this point with my other two (and with both it totaled 30-35 lbs), and I had no problem losing the weight within a year with both those pregnancies.

How do I deal with the comments??? I feel so objectified and evaluated and it’s hard enough to FEEL huge and uncomfortable, I don’t need someone expressing concern or gawking at my size.

:’(

I deal with these things with sarcasm. "You know what really helps with the pain and awkwardness of pregnancy, MIL? Someone repeatedly commenting on it. This vacation sure is relaxing for me." Exit room.

Next offense: "Ahh, feeling better already." Exit room.

[Anonymous]

Tell your spouse to deal with her, immediately!

[Anonymous]

MIL needs to shut her big trap!

OP, I'm sorry you have to hear her drivel-on vacation, no less. I think your DH needs to step in here and lay it out for her. You don't need any more stress right now.

As a mom, and a MIL now also-my DIL's are never going to hear negative pregnancy comments from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your spouse to deal with her, immediately!

This is so obvious it leads me to think DH is probably a big time mama's boy. i.e. never gonna happen.