Is red shirting a cultural issue?

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of American parents feel as if their lives are over scheduled, that their kids are too coddled and that there isn't enough time to let kids independently discover and grow on their own (and with other kids).

However, since "everyone" does playdates, and schedules organized sports/activites and won't let their kids fail and learn on their own, the societal pressure to hold a kids back for school becomes greater.

[Anonymous]

No one has usurped your preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I don't get this at all, OP. Why do you need to know if it's a cultural issue to decide what is best for your child in your own specific set of circumstances? "

Honestly, I was just struck by seeing the difference in how this issue was viewed. If everyone across the board was holding their kids back or seriously considering it I might look at it differently. Now I am obsessing as to whether we are doing something wrong in preparing our kids and whether there are cultural issues surrounding how foreign parents raise their kids that make their kids more resilent or able to handle K or is it just a difference in viewpoint.

This is just such a bizarre discussion/issue. Our son's in school in Arlington at a school where few kids are held back. The notion that their age when starting is going to correlate with their academic success is just crazy. In our son's class, some of the brightest kids are the youngest. Our son has a summer b-day, started on time, and is socially perfectly fine in school.

[Anonymous]

Many here agree with you. However, despite this, others don't and choose to follow their whims. There is no problem here either since we live in a democracy and try to respect others' choices.

I'm sure you wouldn't welcome uninvited advice, or mandate, about when to put your child in home, public, charter or private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went to our Montessori school's session on K. One of the parents made a strong case for doing private K and then repeating K in public school for boys. She made a very compelling case. I noticed that the American born parents seemed to fully agree but the foreign born parents were very surprised and concerned that their children would not be challenged enough. I have a number of international friends and the same distinction seems to apply that they are generally more interested in moving their kids up while our American friends are all considering holding their kids back.

I think you may be on to something. I had this discussion with my DH (who is a different background from myself) that it seemed like people of a different cultural - and possibly economic background had a very different view of education than I did. It could be because my family is an immigrant family and part of coming to the United States was for the economic and educational opportunities. My grandmother is proud of the fact all of her daughters finished college - of course even better if it is math or science and bonus if you go on to complete a graduate degree. And it isn't just about the education, it is being prepared on the job and having your stuff together.

I have the miss the cutoff rather than the red-shirting dilemna and I've learned to just downplay it or not mention it unless I have some indication that the person understands where I am coming from. I just found almost across the board that when I asked my friends of the same ethnic background if they felt deprived being the youngest (Oct/Nov/Dec birthdays) if they wished their parents had held them back a year they said "are you kidding me, I was reading in kindergarten and my mom had to go up to the school because the teacher couldn't believe I was already reading and had to make sure I had work that was challenging", another friend (Spring birthday) skipped a grade in school and was at the same college as me, another friend went on to get her PhD and felt she did well in school. People that are more so upper, middle-class and not of the same background almost universally will say to have your child a year older. So in the end, I think it is sort of like potty training. When I realized children in other countries could be potty trained by 2, I had to wonder if American kids were really not ready to be potty trained until 3, 4 and in some cases 5 ... yet a generation ago kids were potty trained earlier, or if there were other cultural and economic factors at work.

[Anonymous]

Interesting analogy PP! In the end, redshirting is strongly influenced by parents insecurities. Poor kids.