childcare/household help options for two-income families with 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are similar (though 1 parent's hours are less standard, it's only good for occasional coverage/isn't compatible w/ childcare) and have 3 (4.5, 2.5, <1). We have a FT nanny who is guaranteed 50 hours a week, but keeps 55 open for us so we have some additional flexibility (8-7). 4.5 is in DCPS 8-3. 2.5 is starting private preschool (missed the PK3 deadline) 8-3. <1 is home w/ the nanny; nanny has all 3 until 6-6:30 and covers days off/sick days. I don't think throwing an 8 year old (who I assume is way more self-sufficient than any of ours) into the mix -- esp one happy to do some aftercare -- would change things much. If you pay reasonably and give the nanny flexibility/$$ to do what she wants, you will find a nanny happy to take this on. Our nanny drives our SUV.

Our nanny does meals for the kids/the kids' laundry (+ some of ours occasionally on an emergency basis), tidies the stuff that the kids actually use when she is watching them and does non-bulk grocery shopping as needed for the kids (+ special requests from us). We also have a cleaner who comes every 2 weeks.

You must be paying your nanny very well. For her to have time to do your laundry and grocery shop, as well as leaving 5 additional unpaid hours a week flexible for you all, is pretty amazing.

[Anonymous]

^^Or she is a desperate illegal immigrant.

[Anonymous]

Full-time nanny, no housekeeping. that's what the housekeeper is for-- cleaning and laundry one full day a week.

I loved my au pair for my infant daughter but i am a single mom with one kid. Easy peasy job for my age 21+ au pairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are similar (though 1 parent's hours are less standard, it's only good for occasional coverage/isn't compatible w/ childcare) and have 3 (4.5, 2.5, <1). We have a FT nanny who is guaranteed 50 hours a week, but keeps 55 open for us so we have some additional flexibility (8-7). 4.5 is in DCPS 8-3. 2.5 is starting private preschool (missed the PK3 deadline) 8-3. <1 is home w/ the nanny; nanny has all 3 until 6-6:30 and covers days off/sick days. I don't think throwing an 8 year old (who I assume is way more self-sufficient than any of ours) into the mix -- esp one happy to do some aftercare -- would change things much. If you pay reasonably and give the nanny flexibility/$$ to do what she wants, you will find a nanny happy to take this on. Our nanny drives our SUV.

Our nanny does meals for the kids/the kids' laundry (+ some of ours occasionally on an emergency basis), tidies the stuff that the kids actually use when she is watching them and does non-bulk grocery shopping as needed for the kids (+ special requests from us). We also have a cleaner who comes every 2 weeks.

You must be paying your nanny very well. For her to have time to do your laundry and grocery shop, as well as leaving 5 additional unpaid hours a week flexible for you all, is pretty amazing.

We do pay pretty well, I think, plus good benefits. About $23/hour plus true OT for the last 10. 2 weeks of vacation she picks + 1 we pick (but really we take more than that) + federal holidays + 5 sick days + we try to work around specific requests (e.g., leave early on Friday) without charging her for leave, since we flex the schedule a bit anyway. We’re also nice to her: treat her like a human; let her run personal errands as/when she needs to; don’t force play dates with nannies/moms she doesn’t like; let her decide if she wants the kids to do classes during her time; let her set their schedules in general in terms of naps, meals, etc; reimburse her for any activities/treats; follow up any discipline she metes our (no TV or no dessert); etc.

She’s been with us 2.5 years and seems happy. She’s also been on a few vacations with us, which we stress are not mandatory and comp with extra leave... but she seems to enjoy.

For the PP after this post, she’s a US born American citizen w a degree and a white collar prof boyfriend; she is definitely not a desperate illegal immigrant. (Our jobs require security clearances so everything is 100% above board.)

[Anonymous]

Mom of 4 here. I really think the best option is a full-time nanny until you can start the baby in a pre-school program. Even if it is a stretch financially for a couple of years, you won't derail your career and will make up for it in future income by not plateauing.

Now that our youngest is in school, we do a combination of afterschool activities at school and have a part-time nanny in the afternoons who can help pick the kids up and take them to activities / look after them for a brief time in the afternoon before we get home.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 4, ages 2, 4, 6, and 8.

We do daycare (and now preschool with extended hours) for 2 and 4, and before and aftercare for 6 and 8 yo DCs. We had a nanny for DC#1, but I like that each child gets activities tailored toward their age in daycare, so switched to daycare when DC #2 was born.

My job is somewhat flexible and I WAH on Fridays, but it doesn't impact childcare much. I do go grocery shopping Friday afternoon before I pick up DCs to avoid going with them. We have a housecleaning service 1X per week. Now thinking about also getting 2-3 hrs of other housework outsourced - laundry and picking-up a bit.

I'm more worried about upper elementary and middle school and activities getting busier. Right now it is fairly minimal that we have activities on weeknights. At that point, we may stagger our schedules so I can be home by 4 (I have a 20 min commute).

[Anonymous]

that is horrible pay! You better offer her more and more amenities to keep her.

My sister nannies 3 kids (infant, 2, 5) for $30/hour, no housekeeping. She has a degree in educational psychology and expects to be paid as a professional, just as you expect to be paid.

[Anonymous]

Over $25/hour is perfectly good pay for a nanny. Even a very good one.

[Anonymous]

Another mom of 4 here. I WOTH FT but do have some flexibility in my schedule. DH WOTH without much flexibility at all.

We got a FT nanny this time around. The baby is 4 months and she watches him all day, plus the 7 year old when he gets off the bus after school. The preschooler stays in daycare/preschool until I pick him up on my way home. I also pick up our oldest on the way home since he stays after school for sports. So far it’s working well. The nanny could pick up our preschooler instead of him staying “after” but that would make things harder for her and likely disrupt the baby’s schedule. I know she could watch them all, but I don’t want to do that to her (too much fighting when the kids are tired/hungry/cranky after school) and have her leave us.