childcare/household help options for two-income families with 3+ kids
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Anonymous
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We're expecting #4 and considering what our childcare and household assistance situation may look like...both of us have fed-type jobs that pay well (not law/med/finance well but enough) and require a regular, non-telecommuting 8-5ish schedule.
As our family's grown, we've gone through various childcare situations, and currently have a flexible 25hr nanny plus daycare/preschool, which works pretty well now but I think we will need something more. Oldest is currently 8; they don't have tons of different afterschool activities or classes, etc. We also have regular biweekly cleaners, and the nanny takes care of a lot of the kids' laundry and daily dishes. I use to love meal planning and cooking but don't have as much time or patience for it anymore, although we are cook-at-home types versus take out. FYI We don't have local grandparents/siblings/etc. in the area. What works for others? What would your ideal situation be to help family life generally go as smoothly as possible? (all things considered, and recognizing a full-time nanny and full-time housekeeper are out of reach  ) Would like to here any been there, done that advice!
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Anonymous
| Who is watching the baby? Why not just get a full time nanny? Bi weekly cleaning should be sufficient. Order all groceries online. |
Anonymous
| How old are each of the kids? What grade in school? That is key in determining what is an ideal situation. |
Anonymous
FOur kids (including an infant), even if some of them are only home part time, plus kids' laundry and cleaning is an undesirable job for one nanny. |
Anonymous
The oldest is 8 and in school. Assume at least one other isin school. Maybe the third is in part time preschool. A nanny’s job is to take care of kids. I know plenty of nannies who can handle this. They aren’t scrubbing bathrooms and vacuuming. That’s what the cleaners are for. On school days off, older kids can be in camp of the nanny can’t watch 4. |
Anonymous
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4 kids under 9 with 2 people working FT in non-flexible jobs? You seem incredibly calm under the circumstances!
What's the plan for the new baby? That seems to dictate everything else. |
Anonymous
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Mom of 4 here.
We put the under 5s in the same home daycare, and the school age ones in before/aftercare until middle school. Its more driving & packing, but its also not managing a nanny. Its going to be crazy no matter what, but simplify elsewhere. Our rule was if you are school age, you either pack your own lunch or you buy the school lunch. And your afterschool activities are only those offered by the school (although they were usually pretty happy with what was offered at aftercare.) And we eat a lot of meals from the crockpot and rice cooker. |
Anonymous
+1 You need a full time nanny at this point. The baby needs coverage and you'll need to pay well to compensate for all the moving pieces vis a vis the older kids. |
Anonymous
We're flexible on the plan. What seems like the default choice would be to find a full-time nanny (who's not "afraid" of four kids!) and they'd have the baby all day, plus the older ones as they got done with preschool and regular school. Plus keeping the cleaners separately. But I posted more to see if other folks had found a different option -- say, an aupair to help in the mornings and afternoons, or daycare and part-time nanny and housekeeper? I don't know, we're just starting to think about what makes sense. True that our jobs aren't flexible, schedule-wise, but they aren't the worst. We don't work on weekends, and try to avoid working at home at night (although it happens occasionally). |
Anonymous
While some au pairs can technically handle infants, I would never trust an au pair with an infant plus moving parts for older kids. You also have to house an au pair. |
Anonymous
Thanks! Glad to know you found an option that works. Our meals have gotten MUCH simpler since the third came along, and I'm sure that will continue. |
Anonymous
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We are similar (though 1 parent's hours are less standard, it's only good for occasional coverage/isn't compatible w/ childcare) and have 3 (4.5, 2.5, <1). We have a FT nanny who is guaranteed 50 hours a week, but keeps 55 open for us so we have some additional flexibility (8-7). 4.5 is in DCPS 8-3. 2.5 is starting private preschool (missed the PK3 deadline) 8-3. <1 is home w/ the nanny; nanny has all 3 until 6-6:30 and covers days off/sick days. I don't think throwing an 8 year old (who I assume is way more self-sufficient than any of ours) into the mix -- esp one happy to do some aftercare -- would change things much. If you pay reasonably and give the nanny flexibility/$$ to do what she wants, you will find a nanny happy to take this on. Our nanny drives our SUV.
Our nanny does meals for the kids/the kids' laundry (+ some of ours occasionally on an emergency basis), tidies the stuff that the kids actually use when she is watching them and does non-bulk grocery shopping as needed for the kids (+ special requests from us). We also have a cleaner who comes every 2 weeks. |
Anonymous
| There will be many times a nanny has all four kids so be prepared to pay $$$. |
Anonymous
| The fewer moving parts (people) to manage the easier. I’d do a full time nanny and cleaners. |
Anonymous
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Keep the nanny rather than an au pair if you can afford it.
- Signed someone who's on the 5th AP, 2 of them were disasters with the baby, but technically kept all 3 kids alive... |