My kid had porn on his phone!!!

[Anonymous]

Teacher here.

They have all kinds of secret apps that you don't know about to hide porn, group chats, and VPNs to get around security restrictions. My students tell me all kinds of things that I'd rather not know, and most of it starts with them clicking on a fake calculator or note taking app to show me what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Let him keep his porn. Knock on the closed bedroom or bathroom door and wait to be invited in before entering. Let him have his sexual outlet.

To do otherwise disempowers him sexually and empowers teenage girls.

Porn on his phone is better than a manipulative substance abusing girlfriend who puts out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him keep his porn. Knock on the closed bedroom or bathroom door and wait to be invited in before entering. Let him have his sexual outlet.

To do otherwise disempowers him sexually and empowers teenage girls.

Porn on his phone is better than a manipulative substance abusing girlfriend who puts out.

Don’t be so gross. The kid is only 11!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him keep his porn. Knock on the closed bedroom or bathroom door and wait to be invited in before entering. Let him have his sexual outlet.

To do otherwise disempowers him sexually and empowers teenage girls.

Porn on his phone is better than a manipulative substance abusing girlfriend who puts out.

Don’t be so gross. The kid is only 11!

If you give a kid their own phone/tablet/laptop, you can't really be surprised if they look up porn. Snooping through it invades their privacy and they'll just learn to use incognito mode or hide it. It's a rule that you can't really enforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? I think this is a huge problem people don’t really talk about.

why do you think it's a "huge problem". Its actually normal and healthy.

Masturbation is healthy. Pornography is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him keep his porn. Knock on the closed bedroom or bathroom door and wait to be invited in before entering. Let him have his sexual outlet.

To do otherwise disempowers him sexually and empowers teenage girls.

Porn on his phone is better than a manipulative substance abusing girlfriend who puts out.

Don’t be so gross. The kid is only 11!

If you give a kid their own phone/tablet/laptop, you can't really be surprised if they look up porn. Snooping through it invades their privacy and they'll just learn to use incognito mode or hide it. It's a rule that you can't really enforce.

This is ridiculous. No 11 year old should have an expectation of privacy on an electronic device, none. They need supervision. Privacy in a diary, privacy in their own bedroom, sure. NOT on an electronic device.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him keep his porn. Knock on the closed bedroom or bathroom door and wait to be invited in before entering. Let him have his sexual outlet.

To do otherwise disempowers him sexually and empowers teenage girls.

Porn on his phone is better than a manipulative substance abusing girlfriend who puts out.

Don’t be so gross. The kid is only 11!

Eleven year old boys I know are incredibly immature and haven’t gone though puberty. I would chastise myself first if he had porn on his phone, and then have a serious talk. Some kids can feel confused, excited, ashamed, embarrassed, etc.

[Anonymous]

You need to be concerned and have a discussion with him. If it is nude pics of girls who are underage (friends, classmates) etc and he forwards those images he can be charged with trafficking child porn.

I am a teacher and have seen students get into serious problems with this. There are serious ramifications. You really need to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

OP, how old is your son?

I see where someone said it's one thing if a kid is 11/12/13 or 16/17/18 and people latched on to 11, but I don't see where OP ever said how old he is. Sorry if I missed it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, this has been the issue with our teenage son since about age 14. Now 17. And no, I don’t really talk to other moms about it.

In my kids case, he’s been open to us about struggling with his sexuality. My guess is he’s bisexual. Maybe he’s gay and doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

This was an ongoing, every time we restricted, he found a way around it thing. We put on a blocker, he got around it. We took the phone, he got it back and the porn was back.

He’s working with a therapist who is a younger guy who specializes in adolescent boys. He’s says it’s really helpful, but he isn’t ready to talk to us about his sexuality yet. We’re here when he is. He recently told me maybe he could see himself having kids one day. Which tells me he can start to envision a healthy relationship with someone. And thats encouraging.

Otherwise great kid, BTW. No substances. Great grades and. SATs, nice person. Just this.

We try to model a healthy relationship and make it clear that sex is not like porn. Discuss consent and healthy relationships.

At 17, we are now loosening up on electronic restrictions, because we don’t have a choice.

I agree porn is a huge problem and unhealthy. But people saying it’s bad, so stop him need to realize how hard it is to stop a determined kid who needs a laptop for school, and that if you don’t deal with the reasons they want porn, content blocking isn’t enough.

If someone has other suggestions, I’m all ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, this has been the issue with our teenage son since about age 14. Now 17. And no, I don’t really talk to other moms about it.

In my kids case, he’s been open to us about struggling with his sexuality. My guess is he’s bisexual. Maybe he’s gay and doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

This was an ongoing, every time we restricted, he found a way around it thing. We put on a blocker, he got around it. We took the phone, he got it back and the porn was back.

He’s working with a therapist who is a younger guy who specializes in adolescent boys. He’s says it’s really helpful, but he isn’t ready to talk to us about his sexuality yet. We’re here when he is. He recently told me maybe he could see himself having kids one day. Which tells me he can start to envision a healthy relationship with someone. And thats encouraging.

Otherwise great kid, BTW. No substances. Great grades and. SATs, nice person. Just this.

We try to model a healthy relationship and make it clear that sex is not like porn. Discuss consent and healthy relationships.

At 17, we are now loosening up on electronic restrictions, because we don’t have a choice.

I agree porn is a huge problem and unhealthy. But people saying it’s bad, so stop him need to realize how hard it is to stop a determined kid who needs a laptop for school, and that if you don’t deal with the reasons they want porn, content blocking isn’t enough.

If someone has other suggestions, I’m all ears.

If he’s an otherwise good person and he isn’t spending hours a day looking at porn, let it go. He’s going to be 18 soon and then you can’t do anything, anyway.

I’m guessing he doesn’t want to talk to you about his sexuality because you freak out over minor things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? I think this is a huge problem people don’t really talk about.

why do you think it's a "huge problem". Its actually normal and healthy.

Please shut up. It’s disgusting and dehumanizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not mad he had porn on his phone ! I’m mad he tried to hide it in the app!

Seriously?? Like he’s gonna just have it out for anyone (including Mom) to see on his phone? That would actually be weird. It’s good he’s hiding it from you, and not sharing it! FFS.

[Anonymous]

OP said dirty photos. To me that sounds no different than Playboy magazines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? I think this is a huge problem people don’t really talk about.

why do you think it's a "huge problem". Its actually normal and healthy.

Kids looking at porn is not healthy. Especially the type of violent porn that is being produced today. This is not the same thing as finding dad’s Playboy magazines. The stuff out there today can wreck a person’s sexual development.

+1. If you think this is normal and (especially) "healthy," PP, you're out of your mind.