Really sad about my DS's new "label"

[Anonymous]

Not to provide false hope, but some of the kids who test really poorly do so because they think about things really differently than the rest of us. Think Einstein, Newton, etc. So a low scoring kid who can't get into college, much less finish college can end up being Bill Gates.

Personally, I don't view my own little low tester as the future Bill Gates, but I take comfort that looking at things in a slightly odd and different way is not the end of the world either!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other PP's. It's definitely too early to worry much about his eventual intelligence. It sounds like he's doing wonderfully to be reading at 4, especially self taught!

He's probably much brighter than he is able to show you right now because of the language and other problems.

Please don't assume there are limits to what he can do or take any limits experts and random people will throw out there as absolute- the rest of the world will be only too happy to do that for him. Don't worry about what if's right now, as much as possible. There's not a lot you can do about them other than be supportive, encouraging, and providing him with the chances and opportunities to thrive and succeed.

The one thing you can count on is that he is always going to surprise you so long as he's given the chance!

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have sworn that DC was on the spectrum. But we saw Dr. Greenspan who said he wasn't. After two years of taking him to DIRSS, DC sat for the WPPSI test. He scored in the High Superior range. He has lots of issues other than being on the spectrum that affected his ability to sit and take a one hour exam. We found a lovely WPPSI tester who was so incredibly patient with him and had a way of pulling that knowledge out of him. So please don't fret. Your DC is so young. Just keep doing home exercises and therapy and plugging away and watch him blossom as time goes by.

[Anonymous]

OP here again--thank you to the later PPs. Nearly a week after having received the evaluation, I've almost completely succeeded at pushing it to the back of my mind. I did get a little sad, visiting 2 schools this week.

At one of them, my DS would be welcome with open arms (if they have enough spaces). I nearly burst into tears at the open forum there, since they sounded like IQ doesn't matter that much, that they recognize it's a hard thing to measure. The other school probably wouldn't accept him if they were to base their initial screen just on the application packet, as they take kids with average intelligence, although they do acknowledge that at 4 it's hard to rely on the IQ measure so much. But I was sad there too because with only so few spots it's likely they'll pass over my child in favor of someone whose current IQ is more promising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had 4 yo DS evaluated in preparation for school apps. (He was diagnosed with PDDNOS 2 years ago.)

He scored "borderline" in the Weschler tests of intelligence.

Intellectually, I know the test isn't meaningful for much except finding the right school for him. Intelligence tests done on kids so young aren't indicative of what their intelligence really is (especially since DS has many speech and language issues--receptive, apraxia, etc.), and he might well have different scores when he's older and has overcome some of these issues.

But I'm still sad. On a day-to-day basis, I don't think of my child as a "moron" or an "idiot". (which is what he'd be called based on his scores.) He's smart in his own ways. I'm sad that the evaluations don't allow his strengths to shine through.

But also, now a seed of doubt's been planted. What if? What if this is as smart as he'll ever be? (He reads a bit--mostly self-taught.) What if on top of his ASD, he's mentally retarded?

Thanks for letting me vent.

I feel your pain. Our 6 year old just went through testing at school. He scored a mix of average, low average and one or two lows. He has ADHD and anxiety, both of which probably impacted his performance to an extent (we got the ADHD diagnosis through testing). It's natural to worry about these things. I do worry about how he'll fare in life, but he's now got an IEP at school and is getting the type of help he needs (mostly with reading), and life isn't static. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

OP you may want to ask for a copy of the test so you can see the questions. My son has an expressive speech delay and the county has just done some assessments. In his initial assessment, he scored extremely high in all other areas. The county basically keeps doing assessments and they are doing it again six months later, sigh.

Our SLP left a copy the questions and I noticed that several questions in the problem solving areas require the respondant to be able to speak. On those questions I know that he knows the answer and could even probably sign the answer or draw it but he can not verbally articulate the word. I haven't seen his scores yet but this is terribly flawed as there is no reason the questions measuring one area should require competance in a different area.

I hate to say it but education as a field does not attract the best and brightest. The field pays so low and is much more in the vocational than traditional academic path that the people working in it often are the ones with limited intelligence or scholastic performance working from flawed or non-rigorous practices.

[Anonymous]

sympathy to you, it's very hard. but, as others have said, this is just a picture of where he is now, not where he will be. and fwiw, when my brother was 4, he was given a 'below average' intelligence score. He later got straight As in high school, national merit scholar, with phd in theoretical physics and runs his own company! he just didn't develop in a normative manner.

[Anonymous]

OP here again, in case anyone is still paying attention:

I asked my DS's teachers & therapists to write progress reports in preparation for the school applications. I finally got them today; what I read particularly from his in-school speech therapist was really heartening. In her evaluation (she actually ran "real" evaluations of his speech vs. just writing anecdotes) she found that his skills are really scattered--in some ways, up to 2 years behind, but also that his receptive skills and some expressive skills are close to age level.

This was a pleasant surprise--that his ST put in the effort to use a standard measure, that he didn't do so badly on them. Even if I shouldn't have needed this particular report to trust that my son's doing pretty OK, that there is hope for the future, I am relieved to have it, to have some empirical foundation for the optimism.

Thanks again to all who've read/written in.

[Anonymous]

You all are wonderful parents and your kids are lucky to have you! Hugs!

[Anonymous]

It's always great to hear from someone who's been heartened like you have. You really are doing a great job. Thanks so much for sharing.

[Anonymous]

My son had an IQ test when we were applying to pre-k. At that time his speech was pretty delayed and I don't think he had the best tester. I think she made assumptions about him because of his speech. A year later he got a much much higher score on the same IQ test from a different tester who clearly was charmed by him (and his speech had improved and he was less shy). He is now a very smart, hard working successful student, liked by all his teachers and classmates. That first IQ test was an abberation.

[Anonymous]

OP - Who gave you the diagnosis of PDD-NOS?

[Anonymous]

PP here -
My DS took suffers from anxiety and ADHD/Inattentive/Sensory, and was a mess during the test. The testers had a difficult time figuring him out so they "diagnosed" him PDD-NOS....not that I was looking for them to diagnose him. I just wanted test scores. He scored all over the place on the tests. above average, average and low-average.
We did not believe the PDD diagnosis as our son is very social and has none of the ASP characteristics. We took him to Kennedy Krieger to see a developmental pediatrician, she almost laughed when we told her about the PDD. She said "....what would make you think your son has PDD? He is engaging, communicative etc...".

My point is that you should be very careful about a PDD diagnosis as it is a catch-all. Take him to a real specialist.

[Anonymous]

My friends child who was on the spectrum tested 50 on the WPPSI at 3. He was just retested at 7 at it was 145....this is in the genius level of IQ scores. He also recently tested off the spectrum but still has social issues to work on.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've been where you are. It's a real grieving process. But you know what? All that crying and sadness I felt for my child was a total waste of time! I ought to have spent the time working harder to figure out what my child needed and how to get it to him as quickly as possible.

FWIW, my child is now 12 and in middle school. He went to a gifted program this past summer, and was singled out as one of the top students. He's a straight A student in middle school. BUT, he still tests terribly! He was rejected by a private school because of his test scores (I think), but accepted by other equally competitive schools that told me they look at the whole child and don't place as much weight on test scores. I had written recommendations from the gifted program instructors who said my child is exceptionally talented.

If only I'd know this was possible when DS was 4!! It would have saved me all those tears. Don't despair OP. If your child is reading at 4, he's intelligent. You know your child best. Ignore the "experts" who try to tell you your child is sub-standard. I know, I've heard it. One "brilliant" doctor told me my child would be able to do simple math problems by high school. My child does so well in math he skipped a grade and still gets all As. I wish I could go back to this doctor and show him how wrong he was.