Gift giving-you can't win

[Anonymous]

You should do what feels right to you. I do not feel right giving gifts to teachers, during the Holiday Season........this is the first year I am not doing holiday gifts.

I have decided to wait until year end & do something nice for them then. I am also positive, that I will be viewed as the"bad" one......since I did not contribute to the class gift, for my daughter's class.
I have many reasons for this.......The biggest one is money. Our family is HUGE & I have enough stress trying to figure out, how I am going to cover these gifts. And, my children go to a very expensive Private School, with 3 teachers each. Buying 6 additional gifts (even at $20.00, is an issue) & I refuse to put myself into debt.
At year end, I don't have all these stresses & money is not near as tight.

So....You may feel "funny", because of other parents, but you have to overlook that & do for you......Not them.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PP. I feel better knowing I am not alone.

My DC is in a preschool where some parents clearly have lots of money. I am the primary breadwinner for our family and can manage tuition from savings, but am now collecting unemployment - unbeknownst to the other moms.

We gave handmade gifts and are likely the only family that didn't contribute to the collective gift. However, my child got to give a true expression of caring as opposed to seeing me write a check, and I am not in debt for it. I am so glad to know there's at least one other mom out there like me.

[Anonymous]

2129- You showed the teachers you appreciate them. That is what matters! You have nothing to feel bad about. This whole gift giving thing has gotten out of control. In this area in particular there is a huge emphasis on money and making sure you spend enough. If people can truly afford it (meaning they have zero debt) then by all means give gift cards and donate lots to the class gifts, but there is no reason to go beyond one's means when a simple note and a handmade gift beautifully express gratitute. Oh and of course...treat teachers with respect. I'm sure you do, but I am surprised that some of the parents I know who spend the most money are also the most likely to take advantage of teachers/ask for special treatment and/or treat them as servants.

[Anonymous]

we give the teachers a small gift at the holidays but what i've found is sometimes something at another time of the year is even better. Last week the girls in my daughter's class were talking about when their birthday's were and begged their teacher to tell when her's was. Well, it turned out it was that weekend. So my daughter helped bake cupcakes and at the brownie meeting that weekend the girls decorated the cupcakes and painted a happy birthday banner. I got another teacher to "sneak" me in before school and we hung the banner and put the cupcakes on the teacher's desk.

The teacher came running down the hall the next morning with tears in her eyes because she was so happy. All together it cost about $7.50 to make the cupcakes and banner.

It's not what you spend. It is showing you care. The teacher knows the difference.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why OP cares what other people think. My daughter's school had a supposed policy vs. teacher gifts. I thought it was really wrong and so did a lot of other people -- so we all gave something whether it was a homemade card, a gift card or whatever.

My best friend is a teacher. She says while she appreciates the sentiment -- she receives way too many baked goods. Since she knows all of the families -- she will only eat the food of the people who seem to value cleanliness. She avoids eating anything when she knows the people have hairy cats or dogs at home and are messy.

Whoever said teachers don't like Borders cards -- seems to be mistaken. Every teacher I know loves books and likes to have one of their own choosing. Heck if teachers didn't like books -- wouldn't you be worried?

[Anonymous]

21:11 great story!!! I bet the teacher will remember that forever. Very sweet.