Is this a never event in a marriage?

[Anonymous]

Making disparaging/embarrassing/humiliating remarks about your spouse in public is the #1 predictor of divorce. I think the research is the Gottman Institute (not sure but this is a pretty well-known correlation)

[Anonymous]

My husband does that, disparaging me in front of other people. He once told a big boss at my company that he had just met, that I don’t read enough news to be informed about the world. He disparages my mother and sister to acquantances that we barely know. I hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Making disparaging/embarrassing/humiliating remarks about your spouse in public is the #1 predictor of divorce. I think the research is the Gottman Institute (not sure but this is a pretty well-known correlation)

That's a symptom of contempt, and contempt is marriage poison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't have said that, and he should have laughed it off when she did.

+1

OP here. He is the main (only) bread winner. There was no upside to her doing that. It could only hurt his reputation.
They are not headed towards divorce. They get along. She was quite flippant about her commen, but she exposed him as a liar.

You're being too sensitive. We have a running joke in our family that DH doesn't speak Spanish. He speaks it and understands it MUCH better than I do. I've watched him have entire conversations with native Spanish speakers and I've asked "Did you understand everything?" and he'll say "I probably understood 80-85% but totally got the gist." Meanwhile I picked out the words "8" and "but". Yet even the kids will joke "Oh, Daddy doesn't speak Spanish." We all laugh. It's no big deal.

+1

Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Making disparaging/embarrassing/humiliating remarks about your spouse in public is the #1 predictor of divorce. I think the research is the Gottman Institute (not sure but this is a pretty well-known correlation)

That's a symptom of contempt, and contempt is marriage poison.

Yes but it isn’t contempt to correct the record. If he can’t speak X at all, it is not contempt to speak up with the truth.

[Anonymous]

They sound like a well matched jerky couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't have said that, and he should have laughed it off when she did.

+1

OP here. He is the main (only) bread winner. There was no upside to her doing that. It could only hurt his reputation.
They are not headed towards divorce. They get along. She was quite flippant about her commen, but she exposed him as a liar.

You don't know they arent headed towards divorce. Don't ever assume you know what is happening in other peoples' marriages.

[Anonymous]

No... You don’t do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't have said that, and he should have laughed it off when she did.

+1

OP here. He is the main (only) bread winner. There was no upside to her doing that. It could only hurt his reputation.
They are not headed towards divorce. They get along. She was quite flippant about her commen, but she exposed him as a liar.

Holy smokes ypu sound uptight.
They were being playful.

[Anonymous]

My ex used to always spew out facts during conversations. Most of the time people don’t knows any better and don’t question him. I knew that he made shit up to sound smart 50% of the time. I was just fed up with everyone always being impressed with how much he knew. So after I had one too many and someone said “wow, how do you know that? That’s impressive.” I said “he doesn’t know it. He makes up half the shit he says.

Yes, I was a bitch, but I was sick of his “know it all” ass.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife did that sort of thing far too often. It's why alimony should be banned--many women don't help their husband's careers, they hurt them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife did that sort of thing far too often. It's why alimony should be banned--many women don't help their husband's careers, they hurt them.

You had to continuously publicly lie to progress in your career? Are you Anthony Scaramucci?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife did that sort of thing far too often. It's why alimony should be banned--many women don't help their husband's careers, they hurt them.

You had to continuously publicly lie to progress in your career? Are you Anthony Scaramucci?

Let’s hear how he helped and supported his wife’s career. Let’s hear it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Making disparaging/embarrassing/humiliating remarks about your spouse in public is the #1 predictor of divorce. I think the research is the Gottman Institute (not sure but this is a pretty well-known correlation)

That's a symptom of contempt, and contempt is marriage poison.

Yes but it isn’t contempt to correct the record. If he can’t speak X at all, it is not contempt to speak up with the truth.

It is absolutely contempt to "correct the record" in front of other people, especially about something relatively trivial.

If she didn't hold him in contempt she would have saved her "truthful correction" for the ride home.

[Anonymous]

lawyer up and divorce