This describes me a good deal too. I can pull it together when I need to, but I vacillate between lazy and motivated. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. My siblings and mom are lower energy so compared to them I'm not, but compared to the hyper DCUM moms, I am very lazy. I try to focus my energy on things that matter rather than spinning my wheels on every little thing. |
I think I have always been this way. I was unmotivated in school despite being very capable ("not living up to her potential") and had no desire to go to college when that time came. I was lucky to marry a guy who agreed I should be a SAHM to our kids for at least their early years, and that allowed me to be somewhat lazy in life although I have often received compliments for being a great mom. I did go to college later, in my 30s, and did very well, although I will never make much money with my degree. I do love my job but it also allows me to relax a lot and have a lot of time off compared to most people. I think I may have a borderline sleep disorder because I can sleep a whole lot. I think the way I improved as an adult was it was clearer for me to understand why I ought to work hard or get up early or whatever than it was when I was a kid, and I have been just disciplined enough to do what I was supposed to do. I think it must be very hard for an ambitious, motivated person to accept that they have a "lazy" child, but I would try really hard to accept that kid as they are because it's entirely possible for them to have a happy and productive life. |
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I am lazy, but not completely apathetic. I do what I need to do, but I would honestly rather not put the effort in than worry about having the most fashionable shoes or getting all of the details right for a children's party. I like to read for pleasure and watch TV. However, there ARE some things that I care about and will put the effort into. There is a difference between liking downtime and not caring about anything at all.
It sounds like your son is smoking weed. If so, then he isn't "naturally" lazy. He is "artificially" lazy, and the laziness is caused by the drugs, not his personality. |
Op here, thank you for posting this!! Also interesting that you don't once mention depression. A lot of family members have tried to give definition to my son's laziness and diagnose him as being depressed. I declare he's always seemed mostly happy, which I why I've decided he is naturally lazy. When I describe him that way I don't mean it negatively, thus the reason I add "nature" into the description. I just want ideas on navigating around it. |
This made me laugh out loud!! No, he's never smoked weed a day in his life. Fact. |
Ok . I am a child psychiatrist, and I see a lot of adolescents for “depression” and generally not caring about anything who end up with a positive cannibas on a tox screen.
If it was my kid, I would get a drug store test and just check. |
| My MIL. I’ve never met a more lazy person. She’s a malingering doctor shopper and now on SSI because she “can’t work”, but she’s totally available to help you move or paint your bedroom! She sleeps in late and goes to bed early. She’s late for every event, even international travel. Everything can wait. |
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My son and I are low energy (my parents as well). Fatigue is sometimes linked to physical illness, but in our case it’s associated with the inattentive form of ADHD. People with ADHD can stretch to do things if it absolutely needs to get done, or if it’s a favorite activity (like video games); as with hyperactive ADHD, they are at risk of self-medicating with alcohol or drugs or other addictive things (video games), so they need psychiatric assessment and check-ins, perhaps with medication. Someone with low-energy will never become high-energy, OP. BUT! There is hope you cannot yet see! The key is that your son must understand that he is in charge of his own life, and responsible for his own happiness. Guide him towards this, OP, let him make his own choices in life. They will not be yours. But they will be the only way for him to gain self-motivation, if only to put a roof over his head and food on the table. Just make sure his ADHD (or whatever else he has) is well managed. |
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PP again. Sounds like you need to read The Self-Driven Child, by William Stixrud (of the Stixrud psychology practice) and Ned Johnson (of the Prep Matters tutoring business). It explains how encouraging your child to own his choices creates greater motivation and less anxiety. |
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OP I would have considered myself a naturally lazy person from age 13 - 32. I also have ADD inattentive, which I think is largely responsible for this. During that age range I was very low energy, took a lot of naps, slept 12 hours a day (and still felt tired and sluggish), and had a hard time motivating myself to do anything that I considered "boring", such as school work, chores, boring work, etc. I had an especially hard time in college. I slept 12 hours a day in college, took naps during the day, had a hard time motivating myself to study, and while I did really well in school, it wasn't because I spent any time studying, I was just naturally talented academically and that allowed me to get high grades.
I had a hard time holding down jobs in my 20s because I felt so low energy during the day and had a problem with procrastination. The only jobs I did well at during this time was waitressing at restaurants. I did really well at those jobs! I was fired from a magazine job when I was 26 (my first and only time being fired). I was also very directionless, graduating college with honors (despite barely studying) but then really having no clue what to do career-wise. I had no direction at all, had no idea what I wanted to do. I floundered career-wise until 31, when I finally figured out my true path, and got a master's degree. Today, at age 43, I am always hearing from my friends how "high energy" I am and asked how do I accomplish so much in a day? Sometime around age 32 something happened and my natural low energy completely went away and became replaced by high energy. I really have no idea why. But I do know that I also started sleeping less around that time, which oddly enough made me feel better and gave me more energy. Now I sleep around 7 hours a night, and feel refreshed and well-rested all day. I accomplish a lot in every day, I'm organized, and I excel at my job. I was able to get my inattentive ADD under control naturally, without medications. |
Did you begin any of the following: Exercise, change in diet, iron pills or vitamins, increase in sexual activity? |
Unless you test his urine daily, you have no idea. |
Yuck. You’re creepy. |
| I bet most lazy people are overweight or not eating the right foods, introverted (all their energy goes on in their brain), male (it takes energy to produce sperm), hormonal (usually teens or just out of puberty), depressed, ADHD, lives in a hot muggy climate, doesn't have a significant other, is old, has a chronic health problem, or is sleep deprived. |
| I think low energy is different from lazy. Maybe because I have chronic illness and fatigue crops up frequently so I can be low energy at times although I have a workaholic personality. |