Sweatshirts and hot weather

[Anonymous]

Could she be embarrassed about arm or pit hair?

[Anonymous]

OP here. She is allowed to shave, so no to armpit hair. Also I see here when she is changing and will wear little clothing around the house, so no cutting, but was important to point out as something to consider. She won’t wear sports bras. She has them, but likes her clothes loose. She does indicate is makes her feel comforted. She has agreed to move to only long sleeves next two days and then to short sleeves. Will see if she keeps up here s of the agreement. Was hoping to hear someone else had cracked this nut and had an easy solution.

[Anonymous]

It is not normal or right. If she's not cutting she might be anorexic and trying to hide it. Regardless making yourself physically sick because you actively choose to do so is indicative of some disorder that you ought to look into.

[Anonymous]

Does she have anxiety that manifests itself in other ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a reach but she’s not cutting, is she? That’s what springs to mind when I hear an insistence on long sleeves. Sorry if I’m out of line.

I had the same thought.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Interesting to hear thoughts about her reasons to wear lots of clothing. Yes, she has some anxiety, but not excessive. So, it is nice for her to wear something that makes her feel comfortable. Just want something that works with the hot weather we have in this area. Healthy appetite, so not anorexic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking for suggestions on how to get my tween daughter to dress for the weather. She has been wearing sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts daily to camp where does outside activity half of the day. She came home pale, warm, and red faced yesterday and said she was feeling sick. Yet, she still dressed the same way today. She snuck the sweatshirt into her backpack. Asking her to research and write about risks of heat exhaustion. Any other parents had successful approaches to share? My guess she is trying to cover up her developing body. Would appreciate suggestions on alternatives to the obvious of removing sweatshirts and long sleeve shirts from the house.

Two possible reasons, three possible solutions..

Reasons:
1. as per above it is most likely about the developing body
2. I pray and hope it is not the case but if you followed the news kids who vape wear sweats as it conceals the process.

Possible Solutions:
1. If it is about the body,
- you might look for minimizing bra, there are tons of bras that make breast 'appear" smaller not make them smaller, they jus tare constructed so they appear smaller. Name "minimizing bra" look for them online. Do not buy those that have no closures on the back because a child can not adjust and they are hell to put on and take off.
- sometimes it is not only about the size but about the bounce when a girl runs or jumps so do the breasts so that can be embarrassing to a DC. Again, great solution are fantastic bras that for some reason you can not buy loclally in any stores, for they only carry super uncomfortable cheap pull on bras. I am talking to buy a bra that has a lot of coverage on tthe top front so there is No way that the boobs will jump out or even bounce becuas they are such a great constructed pro sport bras. Random example from amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00553XOAA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004GXA8UE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Look for descriptions and keywords "antibounce" or bounce prevention etc..

They keep breast to the body and make them appear at least size or two smaller WITHOUT any compression and discomfort. They are just so constructed that embrace your body and give support in all right places yet minimizing to a degree by great construction of the item.

2. Buy a hoodie that is very thin yet provides some of the same feel as sweatshirt..

For some reason the cheap ones are work better then high end ones.. so here is where you can buy bunch.. very light weight.. they have different styles.. for a kid who Is used to sweatshirt and hoodies those kind of things make good gentle transition into t-shirts.. but one step at the time, this is just to pahse out the thick heavy sweatshirt..
https://www.hanes.com/shop/hanes/hanes-womens-hoodie-ho9249


3. This one I could not see coming.. .. my friend had a problem with her son and nothing worked, until she told him that regardless if he is vaping or not, he will be consider by people that he might be doing something nefarious because it is hot summer and kids without an agenda do not wear sweatshirt aside from those who wants to hide something .. lo and behold it worked. I find it bit extreme as a method but I know she tried everything and so I am just reporting. You be the judge. I don't know if this is one of those cases when desperate times..
but I also don't know how desperate you are and I would definitely try everything else hoping not to use this method if it even is a method?..
I an still trying to figure out if this is legit method or a child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Interesting to hear thoughts about her reasons to wear lots of clothing. Yes, she has some anxiety, but not excessive. So, it is nice for her to wear something that makes her feel comfortable. Just want something that works with the hot weather we have in this area. Healthy appetite, so not anorexic.

Maybe she likes the long sleeves to be able to ... play with the edges of the sleeves. So maybe she'd accept short sleeves, but also wearing a scrunchie on her wrist.

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to her without judging and she needs to know she can confide in you. Is it because she wants to look like other kids, do other kids do that? Or is it because of the body, breasts, is she self conscious ? Ask how can you help? What can you do?

[Anonymous]

If you will be buying her thin hoodies buy very large like XXL or so 1X that will be oversized and comfy not snug but they are not really that huge anyway because of the fashion is snag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Interesting to hear thoughts about her reasons to wear lots of clothing. Yes, she has some anxiety, but not excessive. So, it is nice for her to wear something that makes her feel comfortable. Just want something that works with the hot weather we have in this area. Healthy appetite, so not anorexic.

I wear long sleeves in the summer or mosquitoes eat me alive (I break out from repellents). Maybe you could transition her to lightweight long-sleeved t's? Linen or lightweight cotton button-up shirts can be really comfortable, and she could wear them open with a tank underneath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a reach but she’s not cutting, is she? That’s what springs to mind when I hear an insistence on long sleeves. Sorry if I’m out of line.

I had the same thought.

Me too.

If she's not cutting, could you buy her some loose short sleeve T-shirts? Not the form fitting ones they have for girls, but loose men's or boys t-shirts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for suggestions on how to get my tween daughter to dress for the weather. She has been wearing sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts daily to camp where does outside activity half of the day. She came home pale, warm, and red faced yesterday and said she was feeling sick. Yet, she still dressed the same way today. She snuck the sweatshirt into her backpack. Asking her to research and write about risks of heat exhaustion. Any other parents had successful approaches to share? My guess she is trying to cover up her developing body. Would appreciate suggestions on alternatives to the obvious of removing sweatshirts and long sleeve shirts from the house.

Two possible reasons, three possible solutions..

Reasons:
1. as per above it is most likely about the developing body
2. I pray and hope it is not the case but if you followed the news kids who vape wear sweats as it conceals the process.

Possible Solutions:
1. If it is about the body,
- you might look for minimizing bra, there are tons of bras that make breast 'appear" smaller not make them smaller, they jus tare constructed so they appear smaller. Name "minimizing bra" look for them online. Do not buy those that have no closures on the back because a child can not adjust and they are hell to put on and take off.
- sometimes it is not only about the size but about the bounce when a girl runs or jumps so do the breasts so that can be embarrassing to a DC. Again, great solution are fantastic bras that for some reason you can not buy loclally in any stores, for they only carry super uncomfortable cheap pull on bras. I am talking to buy a bra that has a lot of coverage on tthe top front so there is No way that the boobs will jump out or even bounce becuas they are such a great constructed pro sport bras. Random example from amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00553XOAA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004GXA8UE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Look for descriptions and keywords "antibounce" or bounce prevention etc..

They keep breast to the body and make them appear at least size or two smaller WITHOUT any compression and discomfort. They are just so constructed that embrace your body and give support in all right places yet minimizing to a degree by great construction of the item.

2. Buy a hoodie that is very thin yet provides some of the same feel as sweatshirt..

For some reason the cheap ones are work better then high end ones.. so here is where you can buy bunch.. very light weight.. they have different styles.. for a kid who Is used to sweatshirt and hoodies those kind of things make good gentle transition into t-shirts.. but one step at the time, this is just to pahse out the thick heavy sweatshirt..
https://www.hanes.com/shop/hanes/hanes-womens-hoodie-ho9249


3. This one I could not see coming.. .. my friend had a problem with her son and nothing worked, until she told him that regardless if he is vaping or not, he will be consider by people that he might be doing something nefarious because it is hot summer and kids without an agenda do not wear sweatshirt aside from those who wants to hide something .. lo and behold it worked. I find it bit extreme as a method but I know she tried everything and so I am just reporting. You be the judge. I don't know if this is one of those cases when desperate times..
but I also don't know how desperate you are and I would definitely try everything else hoping not to use this method if it even is a method?..
I an still trying to figure out if this is legit method or a child abuse.

This is great advice. Thank you. My daughter wears regular clothes at home but insists on big baggy sweatshirts for school or camp. I am convinced it is to hide her developing breasts. I was the same way at her age (the women in my family are well endowed when it comes to that area of the body). The “bounce factor” can be very embarrassing so I completely understand why she wants to hide “the girls”.

[Anonymous]

Is she heavy (or even just not super skinny)? It may be a way to hide a body that she’s insecure about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a reach but she’s not cutting, is she? That’s what springs to mind when I hear an insistence on long sleeves. Sorry if I’m out of line.

I had the same thought.

Me too.

If she's not cutting, could you buy her some loose short sleeve T-shirts? Not the form fitting ones they have for girls, but loose men's or boys t-shirts.

+1 I still wear shirts multiple sizes too big when I don’t want to deal with my body. Enormous t-shirts are cool and comfortable and look cute with skinny jeans.