How to address MIL and FIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never want a son in law to call me mom. I'm not his mom...

Are you from Asia?!

No I'm white. Just like this guy's MIL and FIL.

I call my inlaws by their first names. I'm annoyed that my brother in law (married 10 years after me) always called them by mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

My Vietnamese BIL calls my parents mom and dad and they HATE it.

[Anonymous]

Seriously in-laws need to make this clear -- mine never did a we live a weird avoid calling you a name zone.

[Anonymous]

My DH calls my parents by their first names. They were clear that's what they preferred when we were dating seriously. Its a little bit less clear with what I can my ILs. I generally call my MIL by her first name and my FIL by his family nickname. My SIL (married to my DH's brother) who is from a very southern family calls them Mrs. and Mr. last name. That seems really odd to me - I'm Mrs. Last name too! So it can be a little awkward when we're all together.

If you're not sure just ask!

[Anonymous]

I call mine by their first names. They aren't my parents, so I'm not going to call them Mom and Dad, but using Mr./Mrs. LastName is too formal. All their DILs call them by their first names. And my husband calls my parents by their first names.

[Anonymous]

Being a white family they would probably prefer first names.

However ask your wife to casually ask her parents what they are comfortable with. Then go with whatever they want.

I'm sure or I would hope they would be happy that you cared enough to ask.

[Anonymous]

I just made sense of it. It is weird for a SIL to call his white ILS anything but Jim and Jill. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

Huh? Yes use first names. That’s what my family does and what my parents did. No way would I call my in-laws Mom and Dad.

+1. I would never call ILs mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

I would imagine the right answer is to ask.

[Anonymous]

I only have one mother. I would never call anyone else by that name. I would call them Mr and Mrs X until they told you differently.

[Anonymous]

First names. I would be very uncomfortable calling them mom and dad. At first I called them Mr. and Mrs. Last name and they quickly said ‘use our first names!’ But now that we have kids, I often call them by their grandparent names when our kids are around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my I have alwast called my inlaws by their first name. calling them mom and dad seemed wierd to me.

my wife calles my parents by their first name.

BIL and SIL call their inlaws their their first name as well.

Same in our family.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to ask them. We do first names. My MIL asked me to call her mom and I declined. I loved her and had a great relationship with her and preferred her to my mom, but no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously in-laws need to make this clear -- mine never did a we live a weird avoid calling you a name zone.

Yes, I will forever appreciate my MIL telling me, as soon as we got engaged, "you can feel free to call me Lori. Or whatever you want as long as you call me"!

[Anonymous]

I call mine by their first names. I’m not calling anyone mom and dad but my parents.