Pickiest Tween (foodwise)

[Anonymous]

Will she eat beans and rice? I have a great crock pot recipe for black beans. You could make a whole bunch and freeze them in single serve portions that she can heart up when you’re having something she doesn’t like.

https://cafejohnsonia.com/2013/02/how-to-slow-cooker-black-beans.html

[Anonymous]

Just do simple stuff. If she will eat chicken, just bake some in the oven. I don't see the issue.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me you are far too lenient.

I have five kids, ages 12 to 26. All were, 'picky eaters' at some point.

Most of time, kids are picky because they don't like how the food looks for whatever reason. Many have never even tried what they claim to hate. Maybe they think lunch meat looks slimy. Or the beef looks dry, or whatever.

Make your normal meals. Make it clear she is expected to eat what is on her plate, whether she wants to or not. Explain that food is a necessity in life and sometimes you have to eat what is available (if you have examples of food you don't much like eating it works even better). Tell her that we are having, say, steak tonight, here is your plate, and that we expect you to eat at least 75 percent of the plate and won't be excused until that happens. And then follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My 12 year old DD is in the 15% and I know it has to be in part due to her diet and lack of protein. She was 90% until she turned 3 or so and started getting pickier and pickier.

OP, this was exactly my child.

Very slow drop in weight percentiles, from 60th to 8th for a few years, to 2nd and 3rd and eventually 1st. Finally stopped growing in height, too, and went from picky to extremely picky/tiny intake of calories.

Get a copy of ALL Your child's height and weight from birth on, plot out everything on mygrowthcharts.com. Kids usually stay on about the same percentiles -- some variation sure, but within a band. If your child was up at the 90th percentile until age 3, she probably ought to still be up at that level. She isn't getting enough calories to fuel her growth.

In my son, this severe picky eating was hard to notice because on paper it looked like he was eating an acceptable variety of foods. But they had to be exact, specific brands or cooked a certain way. It was very very very hard. It was eventually diagnosed as ARFID -- where kids are so severely selective that they simply can't get enough calories to grow and thrive.

She won't eat cheese, any type, it grosses her out. No deli meats, red meat is on a day to day basis, she eats it 30% of the time when I make it. Hates peanut butter and every other nut butter. Only eats 1 type of yogurt (the one with the orios, which can't have much protein). Won't touch greek yogurt which my other kids love. Edamame she will eat, but only sometimes. She does eat all or most of her vegetables, so she will eat the side dishes during a meal and leave the main dish (meat). Won't touch eggs without gagging. She doesn't like fruit, so smoothies with egg/yogurt hidden in them are a no.

Here is the protein she will eat: Chicken, beans, chickpeas and most legumes. I make legumes once a week, chicken twice a week, but the rest of us want variety so I also make pork (ribs, chops). She drinks 3 cups of milk a day, she likes milk.
I make Banza pasta for school because she loves pasta, and it has tons of protein since it is made with chickpeas. I mix it with a bit of regular pasta so that it makes a complete protein.

Can someone help me with protein ideas? She will go to bed hungry no problem, rather be hungry than eat something she doesn't like.

My advice to you is to start counting calories and figure out how many calories a day she is consuming, and then massively increase the calories until she starts gaining weight up to her historic percentiles. Or at least up to the 50th percentile! Don't worry overly much about the protein.

I took my son to the Shepherd Pratt Eating Disorder Clinic where he was diagnosed with ARFID but they didn't have a lot of ideas back then as to how to increase his willingness to eat different foods. That was a long, slow process but it eventually worked -- took several years and a ton of patience. But the first thing I needed to do was to get his weight back to his former historic percentiles -- took a lot of calories because once he started growing again, he hit puberty and grew like a week so I had to keep feeding and feeding for the growth!!

Do everything you can to be sure she has food she likes and never let her go to bed hungry!! Clearly she's one of these kids who WILL starve themselves -- she has shown that -- so meet her needs right now and feed her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me you are far too lenient.

I have five kids, ages 12 to 26. All were, 'picky eaters' at some point.

Most of time, kids are picky because they don't like how the food looks for whatever reason. Many have never even tried what they claim to hate. Maybe they think lunch meat looks slimy. Or the beef looks dry, or whatever.

Make your normal meals. Make it clear she is expected to eat what is on her plate, whether she wants to or not. Explain that food is a necessity in life and sometimes you have to eat what is available (if you have examples of food you don't much like eating it works even better). Tell her that we are having, say, steak tonight, here is your plate, and that we expect you to eat at least 75 percent of the plate and won't be excused until that happens. And then follow through.

This approach works for some kids. Sounds like it worked for yours. If you have 5 kids then you must remember that some kids are just different and things that work for most will not work for them. Her dd is fine with going to bed hungry. Her dd is not going to eat 75% of something to get up from the table.

OP, if you make chicken 2 times a week, why the heck are you not making extra those two nights so she can have chicken more often? Why don't you have beans in cans and she can eat that? \

OFTEN when kids are "picky" about something, it is because they have actually have a food intolerance or undxed allergy to that food. I can still remember insisting on my kid who refused milk to drink milk. He threw it all up. Turns out he has an intolerance and that is why he avoided it. He throws up anything with uncooked milk, including the boxed macaroni & cheese.

I think you need to get more calories in to her by having things around that she eats. She actually eats a lot of stuff. I know adults who don't eat pork and who don't eat red meat. OP, this is the kid you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering from some of these threads about the pickiest eaters if perception of what is picky is distorted. Many posts about kids that will eat fruit, but not veggies, or vice versa. Or will eat chicken, but not fish, etc...It seems like a made up concern to me and moms are worried sick since these kids will only eat so many foods, but then you hear the foods and it is a lot of variety.
Child that eats beans, pasta, chick peas, chicken, and all of her veggies is not a picky eater by any means.

Exactly! OP's kid isn't picky at all. I have a picky eater that won't eat any vegetables, no red meat, no beans. And he is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I would be thrilled if he ate what OP's daughter ate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Only eats 1 type of yogurt (the one with the orios, which can't have much protein).

That's fine for right now. Buy the Oreo Yogurt and let her eat it! She probably likes the sensation of a little crunch in the yogurt -- later when she has regained her historic weight percentiles, you can experiment with other crunchy thngs in yogurt or maybe ice cream. That is called Food Chaining.

She does eat all or most of her vegetables, so she will eat the side dishes during a meal and leave the main dish (meat).

That's great ! Which vegetables? You can drizzle them with some olive oil or butter if she will enjoy that for some extra calories. Later, if she enjoys the crunch of Oreos in yogurt, she might enjoy some crunch on her veggies. Place some sliced or chopped nuts, toasted or not, in a side dish and invite her to try topping her veggies with nuts for a new taste. But let her be in control of adding them or not, as she wishes. That's how you gently nudge a severe selective eater into trying new things -- no pressure, just invite.

Won't touch eggs without gagging.

If it helps at all, my son would run from the smell of eggs cooking, crying bitterly about the horrible smell in the house. He didn't eat an egg for about 10 years. But over time, and food chaining, was gradually reintroduced to eggs in different forms and now really enjoys scrambled eggs and some cooked egg dishes like omelettes.

She doesn't like fruit, so smoothies with egg/yogurt hidden in them are a no.

You could try Italian Hot Chocolate -- rich hot chocolate with an egg yolk only mixed in. That was the first egg I got my son to eat (yolk has less taste that the white.)

Here is the protein she will eat: Chicken, beans, chickpeas and most legumes.

Again, that is great. Add as much fat into these meals as you can. For meals, make sure she has some of these to eat. You don't mention rice or pasta or potatoes or bread. Will she eat starches??

She drinks 3 cups of milk a day, she likes milk.

Serve whole milk if you can. You can even add 1T or heavy cream to milk and mix it in well, or add some chocolate or strawberry powder if she likes that. Keep upping the calories. You want her to be back to her historic percentiles.

I make Banza pasta for school because she loves pasta, and it has tons of protein since it is made with chickpeas. I mix it with a bit of regular pasta so that it makes a complete protein.

Again, I don't think you need to worry so much about the protein. Just make sure she's getting enough calories. And then once she has more weight on her, research strategies for severe picky eaters to start expanding her reparatoire of foods.

Good resources:

https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Child-Extreme-Picky-Eating/dp/162625110X

https://www.facebook.com/MealtimeHostage/

[Anonymous]

My 12-yr old has a very similar diet. I feel your pain! Maybe me won’t eat melted cheese of any variety, so that cuts the it most easy kid food. The kid has had heatstroke twice due to not eating all day at camp/school field trips because the only options were something he doesn’t like. I have to ride him to drink enough water. He’ll go to a birthday party and eat nothing because he doesn’t like pizza or cake.

Our pediatrician said calories and fat are what we should be focusing on rather than trying to make sure he gets enough protein/iron/vitamins. He gets whole milk (was also let him have Ovaltine, which I justify because it’s fortified...), full fat yogurt and lots of nuts. The pediatrician also told us to try not to comment on his eating at all—just to have clear meal times and snack time with healthy options available. She showed him the growth curve and said she wasn’t worried right now because she knows he is growing, but she wants him to take some control over his health and make sure he doesn’t dehydrate himself/get heatstroke again. She said she’d like to see him gain weight as he gets taller and would recommend a nutritionist if he doesn’t.

He packs his own lunch—I leave the house first—but I have to make sure there are enough high-calorie and healthy options around. He helps me make the shopping list. He almost always takes a warm dish in a thermos and likes soup. It’s not perfect, but he did go from 15th percentile to 23rd and is not a bag of bones anymore. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I have a teenager on the autism spectrum who is extremely picky. Pediatricians have told me to focus on getting calories in, without worrying too much about what he’s consuming. Also, forget about sticking to regular mealtimes and be willing to feed your child whenever he/she is hungry- even if it’s 10:00 at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me you are far too lenient.

I have five kids, ages 12 to 26. All were, 'picky eaters' at some point.

Most of time, kids are picky because they don't like how the food looks for whatever reason. Many have never even tried what they claim to hate. Maybe they think lunch meat looks slimy. Or the beef looks dry, or whatever.

Make your normal meals. Make it clear she is expected to eat what is on her plate, whether she wants to or not. Explain that food is a necessity in life and sometimes you have to eat what is available (if you have examples of food you don't much like eating it works even better). Tell her that we are having, say, steak tonight, here is your plate, and that we expect you to eat at least 75 percent of the plate and won't be excused until that happens. And then follow through.

DP. Must be so great to be a tyrant to your kids, no? Sure way to get them an eating disorder and to hate you. Oh, BTW, my kids barely ate(not like op's) and I didn't force them and they are perfectly fine and tall and healthy weight today. Such drama over your need to control your kids.

[Anonymous]

My picky eating teen will often get a can of beans opened, popped in a bowl after draining and rinsing and a spoon.

[Anonymous]

I don't think being in the 90th percentile at 3 has anything to do with what should be expected as a teen. My kid started out off the chart tall..over the 90th percentile...and is a 5 ft 0 inch 17 year old. Are her height and weight proportional? Is the doctor concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me you are far too lenient.

I have five kids, ages 12 to 26. All were, 'picky eaters' at some point.

Most of time, kids are picky because they don't like how the food looks for whatever reason. Many have never even tried what they claim to hate. Maybe they think lunch meat looks slimy. Or the beef looks dry, or whatever.

Make your normal meals. Make it clear she is expected to eat what is on her plate, whether she wants to or not. Explain that food is a necessity in life and sometimes you have to eat what is available (if you have examples of food you don't much like eating it works even better). Tell her that we are having, say, steak tonight, here is your plate, and that we expect you to eat at least 75 percent of the plate and won't be excused until that happens. And then follow through.

Are you the same poster whose sons climbed trees and used chainsaws to cut down branches st the age of 15? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Protein bars as a snack?

[Anonymous]

This kid isn't that picky and can get plenty of protein from the foods she eats. Just make sure there there are vegetables, whole grains, and protein she will eat at every meal. Of the family is having pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, serve with baked beans and a veggie she will eat and let her have beans, bread, veggie, and milk--that's a great dinner, and you didn't have to do anything special.

You have a kid who doesn't eat red meat or eggs or fruit or peanut butter. This is not a problem. It sounds like she gets plenty of protein. The problem with Oreo yogurt is not that it doesn't have a lot of protein, it's that it has a lot of sugar.

If you think she's underweight, focus on getting more calories in her. Use plenty of butter and olive oil when you cook for her, full fat yogurt, let her have ice cream, etc. Avocados are great if she'll eat them.