Feeling the golden handcuffs of private schools, panicking....

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think $72,000 for three kids in private school is a little on the conservative side costwise. OP, you really should consider that with tuition increases, your annual bill for three kids in private school in a few years would be more like $90,000--$30,000 per kid. Food for thought. Good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

I also thought that I would never put my kids in DCPS, but we are actually at Murch and are really happy with it. I think that the schedule is more like private schools than some MC schools (lots of recess, play and focus on social skills in K, lots of hands on learning) and the classes (23 or less) are smaller. We had planned to move or go private but when I looked at my local school I was actually really pleased with it. Look at the MC school forum, several schools have little recess or no recess until 2:30. Go and actually look at several schools, private, public (DC and MC) and see what you think. You need to compare actual programs. I resisted for years and thought I knew everything based on "reputations". Some of the upper NW schools really are hidden gems. Even if you transfer for 3rd grade entry into private you will save hundreds of thousands.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP, if the 3 kids go private for middle school you'd save almost $500,000. Curious what DC school you are in bounds for? Did you see this thread - the grass isn't always greener in MC
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/73774.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From where I sit, which is coincidentally about 1/2 mile inside the District line from Bethesda, I think the answer for you is pretty clear: move. I know it's no small thing to do that, but I think once you do you will feel better.

Three kids in an independent, non-parochial school is very, very hard unless someone is an equity partner in a larger law firm (which you may be).

Whenever an equity partner or spouse at my DH's firm starts into a speech about how it's imperative that privileged people send their kids to public school (either to improve the public schools or to have their kids experience diversity), I first ask how many kids they have (answer is always 3 or more) and I then ask where they live (answer is always Montgomery County).

I never start these where do your kids go to school conversations (if it's the same as my DCs' school, I already know; if it isn't, I don't care), but the sense I've gotten in that even many equity partners in big law firms often find three private school tuitions an economically daunting proposition.

[Anonymous]

It has always been my understanding that many private school tuitions (especially for larger families) are paid by relatives, typically grandparents. Given the cost of living here, that is a huge chunk of change. Almost all of the families I know who are actually paying the tuition of young children in private school have only one child (and the tuition is less than they paid their nanny). OP you also have an obligation to your children to save for emergencies and to save for your retirement. I am also curious which school you are currently in bounds for. How old are the kids you have? We are an OOB family at an upper NW public. Before you move you could at least try the lottery for your oldest. I know many wealthy families who are happy at Key, Janney, Murch and Laffayette. There are sometimes OOB slots even at Mann. Worth a try before moving. Try to relax, stress isn't good, and congratulations on the baby to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also thought that I would never put my kids in DCPS, but we are actually at Murch and are really happy with it. I think that the schedule is more like private schools than some MC schools (lots of recess, play and focus on social skills in K, lots of hands on learning) and the classes (23 or less) are smaller.

Friends at Murch told us their kids had 28 or 29 in their class (1st grade) this fall. Have they added a section since then, or is the K cohort unusually small (or the 1st grade cohort unusually large)?

[Anonymous]

OP here. My head is spinning, but I am really appreciating everyone's input. The thoughts about MCPS being a little hardcore is interesting...I HATE the thought of my kid just WORKING WORKING WORKING. We went to our current private b/c we liked it's child-focused approach, lots and lots of play, no HW yet, you know. How it was when WE went to K ! BUT. Maybe DCPS deserves another look from me. I don't really want my kids to go to Whitman or BCC, not b/c they are not excellent schools, they are just SO big...I am thinking smaller is often better in HS (although I know everyone could offer hundreds of stories to the contrary). Ugh. I have some real decision making issues....I want to make ONE decision and stay with it FOREVER, but that is simply not realistic. How are we going to transition from the private to DCPS???? I guess it depends on me getting a grip and knowing that sometimes good enough IS good enough!

[Anonymous]

OP - If it is as tight as you say, I'm not sure I could sleep with those bills. My brother had learning disabilities that cost our family a pretty penny. He is a successful man. He would not be as successful if my parents hadn't been able to afford all the first class tutoring - don't think private school exempts you from tutors. It doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Murch K parent here. The first grade is unusually large, PP, I think there was a bump of in bounds kids. I had heard that it was 27-28. The DC teachers' contract is capped at 23. Originally there was a plan to add a class. Then the layoffs happened and when the dust cleared the kids were quite settled. Friends with a 1st grader were up in arms but seem happy now, I guess the proof will be in the conferences next week. FWIW, I understand that Janney's K is also large this year, 27ish per class. There are 23 kids in my son's K, one of the other classes has only 21, I think, with a full time teacher and aide. For anyone who has a child interested in art, the new art teacher is fantastic. Here is the public blog she maintains http://murchart.blogspot.com/
The kids have specials every day, an hour of free play in K, reading time, an hour of recess supervised by teachers, and lunch in the classroom with their teachers rather than having to navigate a cafeteria. They do Responsive Classroom and really focus on social skills. I was really amazed by the quality of the K program (2 out of the 3 teachers are very experienced), can't speak to the rest yet. Many families do plan to go private in 3rd or 6th, others are trying Deal and seem pretty excited about it. Not sure that such big schools will work for my kiddo, we'll have to see. There are lots of OOB kids in K at Murch, totally worth trying the lottery or calling after school starts (some kids transferred in later).
We also came from private school OP, sometimes good enough is BETTER than good enough. It feels so good not to be under so much financial pressre. We are celebrating with a family vacation over the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My head is spinning, but I am really appreciating everyone's input. The thoughts about MCPS being a little hardcore is interesting...I HATE the thought of my kid just WORKING WORKING WORKING. We went to our current private b/c we liked it's child-focused approach, lots and lots of play, no HW yet, you know.

To calm yourself down, maybe you need to go to the "getting in with the wrong crowd" thread in the private school forum. Some there are arguing that top privates have way more homework than even the best publics. I don't personally buy it. But it all goes to show that everybody's mileage varies....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Murch K parent here. The first grade is unusually large, PP, I think there was a bump of in bounds kids. I had heard that it was 27-28. The DC teachers' contract is capped at 23. Originally there was a plan to add a class. Then the layoffs happened and when the dust cleared the kids were quite settled. Friends with a 1st grader were up in arms but seem happy now, I guess the proof will be in the conferences next week. FWIW, I understand that Janney's K is also large this year, 27ish per class. There are 23 kids in my son's K, one of the other classes has only 21, I think, with a full time teacher and aide. For anyone who has a child interested in art, the new art teacher is fantastic. Here is the public blog she maintains http://murchart.blogspot.com/
The kids have specials every day, an hour of free play in K, reading time, an hour of recess supervised by teachers, and lunch in the classroom with their teachers rather than having to navigate a cafeteria. They do Responsive Classroom and really focus on social skills. I was really amazed by the quality of the K program (2 out of the 3 teachers are very experienced), can't speak to the rest yet. Many families do plan to go private in 3rd or 6th, others are trying Deal and seem pretty excited about it. Not sure that such big schools will work for my kiddo, we'll have to see. There are lots of OOB kids in K at Murch, totally worth trying the lottery or calling after school starts (some kids transferred in later).
We also came from private school OP, sometimes good enough is BETTER than good enough. It feels so good not to be under so much financial pressre. We are celebrating with a family vacation over the holidays.

OP here! I really appreciate this post! You sound how I would like to FEEL on the other side of this? Were you very worried about how your child would adapt? And how do other parents feel about OOB kids at Murch? My child will be in 1st grade next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thoughts about MCPS being a little hardcore is interesting...I HATE the thought of my kid just WORKING WORKING WORKING.

MCPS is not monolithic--this will vary from school to school. Some schools seem more driven by testing than others, and this is the sort of thing you can offer find out from talking with other parents in person or on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the Murch K parent. It's a pretty friendly community, the OOB families seem pretty integrated. The bounds of Murch are pretty big so a lot of families are not really in walking distance. It is a nice place, kids often stay to play on the new playground and soccer field.

Seriously, go to the open houses of Murch, Janney, Mann, Lafayette (and Key if the drive would be doable, Oyster if you are interested in a bilingual program). Eaton is also good, but the test scores are a little lower and the outside space is small. Go to several MC open houses too. You will get a feel for places pretty quickly. I think that the DC lottery results are back before private contracts are due, but it would be worth checking. You can try for 5 OOB schools. Which school are you in bounds for?

I'd personally keep moving as a backup option having moved once just before giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm the Murch K parent. It's a pretty friendly community, the OOB families seem pretty integrated. The bounds of Murch are pretty big so a lot of families are not really in walking distance. It is a nice place, kids often stay to play on the new playground and soccer field.

Seriously, go to the open houses of Murch, Janney, Mann, Lafayette (and Key if the drive would be doable, Oyster if you are interested in a bilingual program). Eaton is also good, but the test scores are a little lower and the outside space is small. Go to several MC open houses too. You will get a feel for places pretty quickly. I think that the DC lottery results are back before private contracts are due, but it would be worth checking. You can try for 5 OOB schools. Which school are you in bounds for?

I'd personally keep moving as a backup option having moved once just before giving birth.

I am going to do this! I am thinking that staying put will be the best use of money for right now too. We will shell out MAJOR money for a house and not get much, but if I can swing DCPS for at least six years, that will buy us time to save!

THANK YOU EVERYONE! I am feeling a little more in control and hopeful!

[Anonymous]

OP, which school are you in bounds for? We have 2 kids at Janney and are pleased so far.