Abuse of my 16 yr old GD by her parent

[Anonymous]

So is this your own daughter who is beating your granddaughter, or is it your daughter-in-law? Where is the father in all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is this your own daughter who is beating your granddaughter, or is it your daughter-in-law? Where is the father in all this?

I dont think either of those matter for us in providing suggestions in a situation of parental abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.... thank you everyone for your quick responses... I called the CPS hotline and am now waiting for 2 case workers to arrive at my home, we were given a case number and taken much more seriously by them then by the FC PD ....I do have photos,and granddaughter reported this to school and to her sub school yesterday and they said they would contact CPS , however our call is the 1st to CPS...
I am thankful for your help and will update asap. Blessings to all of you

This is very good news that you are waiting for the arrival of the CPS workers. Unfortunately, as you or a PP indicated, as a grandparent you don't have any rights here. The police are correct that if the mother demands the child be returned to the home then the child must be returned unless there is a finding against the parent by CPS or the PD. Our legal system is seriously f'd up where the rights of a parent trump the rights of a child to be safe.

Also please call the Boys Town hotline as suggested above. It is good for children that we have CPS but you need to realize that sometimes CPS is curtailed by organizational requirements and laws into what they can do and say. Staff at CPS will act within the parameters of their organization's rules and staff can only give you advice that meets their protocols. The people at Boys Town have only the interest of your granddaughter's safety at heart. They will be able to give you advice as to your role as a grandparent and what you can do to help your granddaughter be safe.

Please keep advocating for your granddaughter. It sounds like you're the only person she has right now. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is this your own daughter who is beating your granddaughter, or is it your daughter-in-law? Where is the father in all this?

I dont think either of those matter for us in providing suggestions in a situation of parental abuse.

Actually, if the father decides to "take" his daughter and move in with OP, there isn't anything the mom can do without a court order. While I do think PP meant to be snarky, asking what the father's involvement is is valid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is this your own daughter who is beating your granddaughter, or is it your daughter-in-law? Where is the father in all this?

I dont think either of those matter for us in providing suggestions in a situation of parental abuse.

Actually, if the father decides to "take" his daughter and move in with OP, there isn't anything the mom can do without a court order. While I do think PP meant to be snarky, asking what the father's involvement is is valid.

+2 The father may actually be able to help. It sounds like (because OP doesn't indicate otherwise) that the father is uninvolved and the mother has custody; however, the father may be willing to support OP's effort to protect the child and/or the father may be willing to step up to his parental responsibilities once he is made aware of the mother's abuse of his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Loop the pediatrician in. He or she can add context with anything he saw over the years that was atypical for your GD. Maybe mom had a handy excuse for bruises or never let the female doctor examine her alone after the tween years.

[Anonymous]

OP—you said you’d update. What’s going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loop the pediatrician in. He or she can add context with anything he saw over the years that was atypical for your GD. Maybe mom had a handy excuse for bruises or never let the female doctor examine her alone after the tween years.

if i were abusing my, we sure as heck wouldn’t be going to the doctor, and I doubt I’m the only person who thinks that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Loop the pediatrician in. He or she can add context with anything he saw over the years that was atypical for your GD. Maybe mom had a handy excuse for bruises or never let the female doctor examine her alone after the tween years.

if i were abusing my, we sure as heck wouldn’t be going to the doctor, and I doubt I’m the only person who thinks that way.

You’d be surprised. Physically and even sexually abusive parents do take their kids to the doctor for illnesses or non-abuse injuries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Loop the pediatrician in. He or she can add context with anything he saw over the years that was atypical for your GD. Maybe mom had a handy excuse for bruises or never let the female doctor examine her alone after the tween years.

if i were abusing my, we sure as heck wouldn’t be going to the doctor, and I doubt I’m the only person who thinks that way.

You’d be surprised. Physically and even sexually abusive parents do take their kids to the doctor for illnesses or non-abuse injuries.

+1 There is a lot of hubris involved. A lot of times the physically and sexually abusive parents are trying to maintain the façade of care because they don't want to lose their victim or cause people to ask questions. And the fact that schools require physicals and shot records forces all parents of enrolled students to take their kids to some sort of medical facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I doubt very much that Ffx police told you she had to come in such circumstances.

You are not only a jerk, but an ignorant one. I am a social worker and have family in law enforcement. There is NO doubt that police would say exactly what this OP says they did, and mean it. People like you are dangerous. Stop talking.

[Anonymous]

OP. here, it's been an exhausting week,however we went to court saw a judge a were able to obtain a temporary protective order against her mother, who is my step son ex gf...my ss is out of the picture and has given up all rights to her, that's a long story and it's for her own good, my husband has been her male figure in her life from day one.Today makes 1 week that she's been with us and it's finally calming down,her mother has stopped constantly texting us,and we are letting aunts and uncles visit with her as they call and let know they are coming. She is going to school and work. We go back to court in 2 weeks for a permanent protective order that will last 2 yrs. The case is now in CPS and law enforcement hands.
Thank you for listening and for your advise. She is in a loving home now and I believe this is what is for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. here, it's been an exhausting week,however we went to court saw a judge a were able to obtain a temporary protective order against her mother, who is my step son ex gf...my ss is out of the picture and has given up all rights to her, that's a long story and it's for her own good, my husband has been her male figure in her life from day one.Today makes 1 week that she's been with us and it's finally calming down,her mother has stopped constantly texting us,and we are letting aunts and uncles visit with her as they call and let know they are coming. She is going to school and work. We go back to court in 2 weeks for a permanent protective order that will last 2 yrs. The case is now in CPS and law enforcement hands.
Thank you for listening and for your advise. She is in a loving home now and I believe this is what is for the best.

Great news. People are pulling for you and your family; you will stay in my prayers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. here, it's been an exhausting week,however we went to court saw a judge a were able to obtain a temporary protective order against her mother, who is my step son ex gf...my ss is out of the picture and has given up all rights to her, that's a long story and it's for her own good, my husband has been her male figure in her life from day one.Today makes 1 week that she's been with us and it's finally calming down,her mother has stopped constantly texting us,and we are letting aunts and uncles visit with her as they call and let know they are coming. She is going to school and work. We go back to court in 2 weeks for a permanent protective order that will last 2 yrs. The case is now in CPS and law enforcement hands.
Thank you for listening and for your advise. She is in a loving home now and I believe this is what is for the best.

Great news. People are pulling for you and your family; you will stay in my prayers.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. here, it's been an exhausting week,however we went to court saw a judge a were able to obtain a temporary protective order against her mother, who is my step son ex gf...my ss is out of the picture and has given up all rights to her, that's a long story and it's for her own good, my husband has been her male figure in her life from day one.Today makes 1 week that she's been with us and it's finally calming down,her mother has stopped constantly texting us,and we are letting aunts and uncles visit with her as they call and let know they are coming. She is going to school and work. We go back to court in 2 weeks for a permanent protective order that will last 2 yrs. The case is now in CPS and law enforcement hands.
Thank you for listening and for your advise. She is in a loving home now and I believe this is what is for the best.

Great news. People are pulling for you and your family; you will stay in my prayers.

+1

+2 Thank you so much for the update OP. I've been thinking about you, and praying for you and your granddaughter. I am glad that she is safe and now starting to -feel- safe. It will take a while for her to really stabilize but it sounds like you now have the help you need to help her. Sending lots of love and prayers!