Leaving DC for a lower COL area

[Anonymous]

We did this two years ago. We both work remotely, kids are now 4 & 6. Financially and in terms of family time and togetherness, it's been amazing. Biggest reservation about the move was the lack of options and diversity for the kids, but it's still too soon to tell how that will play out as I think that crunch will hit more in late middle / high school. However, we can now afford to travel a lot more, so we plan to really try to share the world with them that way. It will be more work, but I'd like to think it's doable. I just miss "city things" -- all the restaurants, museums, public transportation -- and there is definitely a social conservatism that I don't love. But overall, it made sense for us and still does so far.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but if you moved to a lower COL area and you like it, can you please share the name of the city/region you moved to?

No need to keep it a secret!

[Anonymous]

We did it and have never looked back.

Left DC a few years ago for an up and coming city on the west coast of Florida. We were able to take our jobs with us - both becoming remote. I've since left that job for another remote job - my husband has been promoted at the same company.

It would not be easy to make up the same income in this city if we were to lose our jobs, but there are employers here - I know others who have moved to this city from DC, who now have good jobs at the local university and other employers.

We live in a wonderful house in a wonderful neighborhood, that we never could have afforded in DC. We have good weather nine months of the year. We have a laid back way of life, that I love.

We don't feel like we are living in the sticks. There's a very good art scene here - it's been written up in the NY Times among other places - and it's a progressive city. Not super racially diverse, but not a monoculture either.

I feel like these posts always end up with a lot of people saying that it's DC or bust because the rest of hte country is a stinking sh*thole (except NYC or SF, which is too pricey). That is not my experience. I've lived a lot of places, and liked and disliked things about them all. I liked DC, and I like where we are now better.

[Anonymous]

We did it last year.
So far no big regrets.
The winter is colder, but the summer is amazing.
House is nicer
School is better.
City has everything DC has, without the traffic and ample parking.
We bought way in the exurbs, 35 miles from downtown.
It takes 30 min to get in.
My circle isn’t pro Trump.

[Anonymous]

OP you have other options:

1. Make more money. You do not need to keep these same jobs. You can jump to private industry, lobbying, sales, or any other industries related to your field of expertise. Teachers can transition to corporate training and make great money. The opportunity to make more money is there if you are willing to be creative and explore your options.

2. Take advantage of teleworking. There are great surrounding areas where housing is cheaper and solid schools are available. The suburbs of Baltimore, Howard County, Anne Arundel County, etc. You bite the bullet and do the long commute 3x per week. You work from home the other two days. Your spouse WFH opposite days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you have other options:

1. Make more money. You do not need to keep these same jobs. You can jump to private industry, lobbying, sales, or any other industries related to your field of expertise. Teachers can transition to corporate training and make great money. The opportunity to make more money is there if you are willing to be creative and explore your options.

2. Take advantage of teleworking. There are great surrounding areas where housing is cheaper and solid schools are available. The suburbs of Baltimore, Howard County, Anne Arundel County, etc. You bite the bullet and do the long commute 3x per week. You work from home the other two days. Your spouse WFH opposite days.

These options have a ton of built-in assumptions that only apply to a fraction of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

And when you try to point this you they start ranting about muh diversity (despite having all-white circles of friends) and muh culinary scene (despite always going to the same 4-5 restaurants), while, of course, completely ignoring there's racial diversity and different cuisines in other cities and even smaller places these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

My spouse spent several years in Rochester for grad school. Disliked the cold and heavy snow. The climate here is a lot better for many who prefer milder winters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

My spouse spent several years in Rochester for grad school. Disliked the cold and heavy snow. The climate here is a lot better for many who prefer milder winters.

Then I guess you're stuck in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

My spouse spent several years in Rochester for grad school. Disliked the cold and heavy snow. The climate here is a lot better for many who prefer milder winters.

Then I guess you're stuck in DC!

PP. I'm glad, we love it! But we're lucky to be able to afford it with our HHI (we live in DC in a nice neighborhood zoned for Deal/Wilson).

We've lived in several other high-cost parts of the country, and don't think DC is the best, but it's a reasonably nice place to raise kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have other options:

1. Make more money. You do not need to keep these same jobs. You can jump to private industry, lobbying, sales, or any other industries related to your field of expertise. Teachers can transition to corporate training and make great money. The opportunity to make more money is there if you are willing to be creative and explore your options.

2. Take advantage of teleworking. There are great surrounding areas where housing is cheaper and solid schools are available. The suburbs of Baltimore, Howard County, Anne Arundel County, etc. You bite the bullet and do the long commute 3x per week. You work from home the other two days. Your spouse WFH opposite days.

These options have a ton of built-in assumptions that only apply to a fraction of the population.

Of course I am making assumptions. But its pretty clear that OP is a two-income professional household. They have those options, if they choose to explore them.

Or, they can move back home where things are more comfortable, familiar, and cheaper but they must sacrifice other aspects (job availability, higher salaries, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

My spouse spent several years in Rochester for grad school. Disliked the cold and heavy snow. The climate here is a lot better for many who prefer milder winters.

Then I guess you're stuck in DC!

PP. I'm glad, we love it! But we're lucky to be able to afford it with our HHI (we live in DC in a nice neighborhood zoned for Deal/Wilson).

We've lived in several other high-cost parts of the country, and don't think DC is the best, but it's a reasonably nice place to raise kids.

I don't mean to be a jerk but from all the things you've just written it's clear you are not really in a position to offer OP any advice. "Be rich like we are!" isn't really helpful to someone who is trying to navigate how to balance a more moderate HHI with the opportunities but costs of DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lower cost areas don't have the same amenities, and too often they're Trump country, so I don't want to raise kids there. My parents both live in areas like this--super cheap areas of FL and TX. Those are not my people or politics, and I like DC, so here we stay, for now. May eventually head back to CA as empty nesters.

Your own parents are not "your people"?

I know DC folks can be heartless, but this is callous even by DC standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dream about this too, but you can't find the jobs, schools, and doctors etc. you need for kids or when you are old in alot of those places. My parents fled to a lower COL area about 15, 20 years ago with their younger kids. They struggled to get good schooling, special services for a SN sibling, and now Dad has serious health problems and they have to commute several states to get good care.

Somewhere like Rochester has schools ranked among the top in the country, major colleges and universities, good hospital systems, and pretty good economy...but lower COL.

People who think your options are living in DC or living Hicksville are super strange.

My spouse spent several years in Rochester for grad school. Disliked the cold and heavy snow. The climate here is a lot better for many who prefer milder winters.

Then I guess you're stuck in DC!

PP. I'm glad, we love it! But we're lucky to be able to afford it with our HHI (we live in DC in a nice neighborhood zoned for Deal/Wilson).

We've lived in several other high-cost parts of the country, and don't think DC is the best, but it's a reasonably nice place to raise kids.

Umm, ok? Why are you here then?