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Would you be offended. . .
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Anonymous
| Why not let him know you are sensitive about this? |
Anonymous
| I'm a little puzzled by this. I'm 5'10" and I love being tall, and I love when people point out that I'm tall. I always thought it was a compliment and if a guy were to say that to me that were shorter I would think 'aw, he is jealous'. I understand that you have this added sensitivity b/c of your weight but as someone else pointed out...8 lbs? That is nothing - you probably look fabulous! This guy is just jealous of you. I'm not trying to dismiss this or be insensitive but I hardly think this is sexual harassment or something that should be reported to HR...frankly, I think you are overreacting and I think HR would find it strange if you were to complain about something like this. Can't you just say something jokingly to him like "yes, I'm tall - does that intimidate you?" or just outright ask him to please stop as you find it insulting? |
Anonymous
| We need to stop making comments about others physical traits. Red hair, tall, short (petite), thin... |
Anonymous
| If you are tall and only 8 pounds over your ideal weight, you are probably a hottie! He may find this the least offensive way to compliment you. |
Anonymous
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OP here-thanks for all the GREAT posts.
I do consider this guy to be a friend; even though he's newer to our group and I know he considers me a friend as he has said as much. We have a lot in common, previous career moves, educational background & family stuff (kids). I'm sure it will work out, the next time this topic comes up, I'll probably make a joke of it (he and I joke around often) and hopefully get the point across that the comments about my height bother me. |
Anonymous
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Men tend to be just a bit more insecure around tall women. I wouldn't worry about it. Since you're friends, just bring it up casually (not that he's insecure but to maybe not comment on it).
Btw, tall people earn more, this should make you happy  I'm petite, so no advantage for me there. But I can tell you all my life people have made fun of me for being short (how's the air down there? Are you vertically challenged?) - but no big deal, people either comment to make fun or b/c they are insecure in my experience.
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Anonymous
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"He probably thinks it's a compliment. Those of us who are average height would LOVE to be tall and don't think of it as possibly being an insult to remark that someone else is tall! "
I agree with this. My DH is 6 feet 5 inches, while I am average height, and before we were married, I used to always comment on how tall he was (granted, it's different for a woman) and I never realized he might take this as something negative until one day I noticed that in most pictures he ducks down or slouches, trying to be the same height as other men in the picture -- then I had the lightbulb moment and realized he might be self-conscious about his height. I stopped making the comments. Your friend probably does not realize what he is doing and needs a gentle nudge so he "gets" it. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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OP here-Today I was able to put into words, after joking around with my colleague, that the comments on height bother me. I've talked to him in the past about how I felt growing up (being the the one who is not like the others) and that comments about my height make me self-conscious. He was commenting about something and said to the effect well, they're not as tall as you, and I joked around a bit and then casually mentioned that it did bother me. Thinking about the posts here helped me to make sure I just didn't let it slide. I was trying very had to be casual with getting the point across. I think I was successful.
Thanks for all the helpful posts. I'm considering this subject closed. |
Anonymous
Oh please, tell me you are joking! How about just asking him to stop? Jeez. |
Anonymous
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My take from reading your post quickly is that he is bothered by his lack of height and it's more a comment about his insecurities than anything to do with you.
He's comparing himself to you. He's thinking about himself and how he wishes he were taller. That's just my take. |