Moving on after death of spouse

[Anonymous]

Both women (their wives) had been ill for several years

OP, why are you even posting - - - there is no question here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. My husband was really disturbed by his cousin’s behavior, kept talking about how if I died there’s no way he could move on that quickly, etc.
he seemed way more bothered by it but I guess it just depends on the person.

Ha, what did you think he was gonna say? "Sorry honey, as soon as the last shovel of dirt covers your grave, I'm gonna be on Tinder. You know how the promise goes - 'til death do us part' - and as soon as you're dead I'm free to look for a new squeeze."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Both women (their wives) had been ill for several years

OP, why are you even posting - - - there is no question here

Yes, there is a question. It’s hard to watch a family member move on after their spouse of many years passes away. Friends are still grieving for the deceased. It’s understandable that it takes some getting used to. Op asked about other people’s experiences with this, and for the most part, people have responded kindly about what they’ve been through.

[Anonymous]

People.....myob. Be happy for your family member that they have found a good companion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men need women. Women fare much better after the death of a spouse.

As a divorced guy in his 50s, I can tell you that there are a shitload of women who need men, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

Op posted about two people - a mid-fifties cousin and a 70 year old uncle. The uncle probably was looked after by his wife. And frankly, if I passed away, my 50-something husband would probably miss the person who cooked his dinner every night, cleaned the house, did his laundry and managed the household finances. He’s pretty well cared-for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men need women. Women fare much better after the death of a spouse.

So true.

[Anonymous]

A great uncle did this many years ago. My grandmother’s sister died and her husband in his late 60s found a girlfriend. They stayed together for years, until she died. Some family members had a little contempt but were a lot younger and therefore saw it as a betrayal, not simply just a lonely old man who wanted to enjoy his final years with a fun-loving woman who maybe empathized with him situation. Depends on the family. The dead or dying spouse may have given their blessing while the other survivors want to hold a torch forever for the deceased.

[Anonymous]

You said both women were sick for some time. These men mourned them long before they passed. It's tough to be a caregiver, then watch someone slowly die. They were ready for new relationships on their own timetable. No one can say what is normal or what that should be for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

Um....I'm 48 and I "take care" of my husband.

[Anonymous]

I doubt the deceased wives give af.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

Um....I'm 48 and I "take care" of my husband.

And your husband will remarry for sex, not to get the dishes done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

Op posted about two people - a mid-fifties cousin and a 70 year old uncle. The uncle probably was looked after by his wife. And frankly, if I passed away, my 50-something husband would probably miss the person who cooked his dinner every night, cleaned the house, did his laundry and managed the household finances. He’s pretty well cared-for.

Yes, I'm in my late 40s and I do care for my husband. And he cares for me. It isn't one sided. Humans LIKE to have a companion, like to be cared for, like to care for somebody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's relatively common in the older population to move on quickly -- especially for men who wives took care of them.

Jesus, enough with this "caretaker" bullshit. He was mid-50s. Gen X. Women of that generation don't "take care of" their husbands.

Um....I'm 48 and I "take care" of my husband.

Which means what, exactly?