Is it considered abuse if estranged husband cuts off your funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, either this “friend” is really you, or you are way too personally invested in your friend’s drama, especially considering her disinterest in solving her own problems.

I just realized I think she may be asking me for money.

Yes, she is. Do not give it to her. She can solve this problem herself, she just doesn’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

My friend and her husband have both been previously divorced. She was working when she was with her first husband. They had no assets and not married long. He just moved out and paid his half of rent until lease ran out. She moved to a new apt.

My friend thought she would be living happily ever after with the new husband. They were planning to start a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, either this “friend” is really you, or you are way too personally invested in your friend’s drama, especially considering her disinterest in solving her own problems.

I just realized I think she may be asking me for money.

Yes, she is. Do not give it to her. She can solve this problem herself, she just doesn’t want to.

She is just so devastated.

DH earns a very high income but I know it would likely cause problems in my own marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

My friend and her husband have both been previously divorced. She was working when she was with her first husband. They had no assets and not married long. He just moved out and paid his half of rent until lease ran out. She moved to a new apt.

My friend thought she would be living happily ever after with the new husband. They were planning to start a family.

You or someone posted this before. She should have known better after her first divorce she had bad taste in men. You always keep an emergency fund in your own name.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell doesn't she work, with no kids and barring a disability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

My friend and her husband have both been previously divorced. She was working when she was with her first husband. They had no assets and not married long. He just moved out and paid his half of rent until lease ran out. She moved to a new apt.

My friend thought she would be living happily ever after with the new husband. They were planning to start a family.

A man is not a plan. She's learning this lesson very harshly now. She needs to work.

[Anonymous]

Your “friend” is not being abused. She needs a job, she won’t get a big payout from this divorce, and she won’t get extra money to freeze her eggs. None of the answers have changed since you posted last time.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there's more to the story. How long have they been married? Why isn't she working? Why does she have no savings of her own? Why doesn't she have a credit card from before she was married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

My friend and her husband have both been previously divorced. She was working when she was with her first husband. They had no assets and not married long. He just moved out and paid his half of rent until lease ran out. She moved to a new apt.

My friend thought she would be living happily ever after with the new husband. They were planning to start a family.

She couldn't work and be pregnant like millions of other women over time?

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to believe you’re worried she’ll ask for money because your original post doesn’t even hint at that. Regardless, you’ve posted about this before. Answers haven’t changed.

[Anonymous]

Get a JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to go to legal aid or the court and ask for help. That's really crappy. I'd open a new credit card up in my name with him joint. Tell her NOT to move out.

Isn’t that fraud? Can she open one and have him be liable?

My friend has very poor credit. That’s why she has no credit cards under her name.

So, in sum, the reason you and your "friend" are hellbent on finding some way that he's defrauding or abusing her is that, on top of the fact that she has no job and no money in her name, she also has bad credit. If she opens an account and adds him to it, he can also close that account, if/when he finds out about it, and he'd have to sign the joint application.

I'm just going to throw this out there, but the "friend" has made quite a bed for herself and should probably take matters into her own hands rather than analyzing a way to make soon-to-be-ex-#2 pony up -- sell some stuff for quick cash, find a lawyer, and start working again ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s husband wants a divorce. My friend does not work. They have no kids. She was completely dependent on him financially. They shared a car and she had credit cards but he has cancelled them. She literally has no money.

They are living in the same house awkwardly. He told her to get a lawyer but she can’t afford to pay for the retainer. She is basically trapped in the house with no car and no money. There is food.

Why do women do this to themselves?! I cant imagine relinquishing everything to a man and having nothing.

She probably didn't have a good job to begin with. She's only been out of the workforce for two years so if she was that qualified she should be able to find another job.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell her to go to legal aid or the court and ask for help. That's really crappy. I'd open a new credit card up in my name with him joint. Tell her NOT to move out.[/quote]

Isn’t that fraud? Can she open one and have him be liable?

My friend has very poor credit. That’s why she has no credit cards under her name.[/quote]

So, in sum, the reason you and your "friend" are hellbent on finding some way that he's defrauding or abusing her is that, on top of the fact that she has no job and no money in her name, she also has bad credit. If she opens an account and adds him to it, he can also close that account, if/when he finds out about it, and he'd have to sign the joint application.

I'm just going to throw this out there, but the "friend" has made quite a bed for herself and should probably take matters into her own hands rather than analyzing a way to make soon-to-be-ex-#2 pony up -- sell some stuff for quick cash, find a lawyer, and start working again ASAP.[/quote]

I actually really liked her husband. I do not think he is abusing her.

My friend is distraught and keeps talking about the situation he put her in. My friend keeps saying she has no money. She is mad at me now because I told her she should look for a job.

I said she is welcome to stay with me but now I’m annoyed with her as well. She has only been living at the new house for a few months. It isn’t like she is disabled or has young kids to care for. This guy isn’t loaded. She is just so angry with him for doing this to her.