boy with few invitations from friends

[Anonymous]

Keep him busy with lots of activities that he does enjoy and he may well form friendships in those. If not at least he is busy and spending his time well. I have similar issues with my DD (grade 6) and it has helped to keep her super busy on week nights and weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep him busy with lots of activities that he does enjoy and he may well form friendships in those. If not at least he is busy and spending his time well. I have similar issues with my DD (grade 6) and it has helped to keep her super busy on week nights and weekends.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are being very sensible in judging reactions to your son based on reciprocal invites. This is exactly what we do when a boy that my son doesn't like or that I don't particularly like tries to be friends with my son. I would encourage my son to say yes occasionally to an invitation, especially a birthday party, to be nice, but we wouldn't invite the boy to our house, or, again to be nice, we would do it a little but not nearly as much. Heck, I do this for myself -- if I make an overture or two to a person to get together and they don't initiate a response, I figure they have enough friends
and don't feel the same connection I do and don't keep
trying. So, what to do? I think the advice to keep him busy with activities and family time is a good one. That's what I do for my other kid who has difficulty making friends. I would also consider some therapy/social skills coach. It seems to me a little out of the norm for someone to continue to try to be friends with a kid who said he hates you and never likes you. I feel like he needs some skill sets that maybe an expert or third party could give him, rather than a parent. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I have a fifth grader and parents are still texting each other asking if so-and-so can come over.

If there is a parent you like and trust, reach out! Get together and chat. Feel out the situation.

Don’t resist the urge bc, trust me, other people ARE coordinating and I hate to see your son not get that benefit.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. If he is not being invited, it kinda sucks having a one-sided friendship. Hanging out doesn't have to be at the house. Going to the movies is fun or even bowling. It's nice to be included.

I stopped inviting kids who never invite my son back. I have one of those so-called "cool houses", with toys and a large backyard. But I don't want to be the host all the time.

[Anonymous]

My son has some social awkwardness, but once he was in middle school (starts in 6th where I live) I did not get involved. I give him advice, but it stops there. I'm a firm believer in resilience and letting kids work out their own issues. Being a lawnmower parent is not healthy nor helpful. Painful to watch kids struggle, but in your shoes, is lead an ear and advice, but certainly not try to socially engineer his interactions. It won't work.