Husbands with SAHWs...how much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you budget for expenses a month?

Does your wife have monthly allowance or a debit card /credit cards with her name that she can use as much as she wants ?

What is a fair amount to spend if you have one child together but only one income ?

*we are middle class -300k a year plus random bonuses

1) Just our normal stuff.

2) SAHM - spend what ever I want without question. No allowance. We each have a credit card as a primary for the credit rating but both use both.

3) You have plenty of income and are NOT middle class. How is this even an issue?

What are their mortgage and car payments? Any other regular major expenses? How on track are they for retirement? What about college savings for the kids? How secure is her dh's job?

[Anonymous]

Hmm I think that depends on you and how responsible you are with money. Your post makes it sound like you aren’t responsible at all and are someone who needs an “allowance” and can’t be trusted to to not waste it.

I stayed at home for a while and never had a budget and could buy whatever I wanted - of course the only thing I cared about was financial security for our family so I was very responsible.

If you really want a number then we need to know more. How big is your emergency fund? Age? Retirement savings amount? Life insurance amount on your husband?

[Anonymous]

I charge 3-5k per month. This includes all kid stuff, household expenses, food, gas, Gym, etc.

[Anonymous]

We have joint accounts and a budget that we both stick to. The budget includes things like clothes for both of us. We have a set amount of “fun” money per month that we usually spend together (like going out to dinner), but occasionally one of us spends fun money on having a drink or coffee with a friend, etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m generally very supportive of people who choose to be a SAHP if it works for their family, but it doesn’t work if one person is the arbiter of what the other person should spend to run the household, especially if that person is unrealistic. At 300k hhi, presumably the monthly net is $15k-$20k? $3k sounds unreasonable, depending of course, on what it’s intended to cover.

Op, if your dh is controlling with money, I’d first try to get him to work on developing a monthly budget with you. Try a Dave Ramsey FPU class if your dh will take it with you. If not, I’d look into going back to work. I think it’s great to sah, but not if your spouse is a controlling tightwad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He seems to think 3k is enough a month for spending —the total he wants me to spend. I don’t agree.

Spending for what - groceries, going out, household stuff? We spend that about total but we charge almost everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH made 350k last year and I SAH. No budget and don’t have to ask him before I spend anything.

+1

DH is the spendthrift and he has to usually return things because it was an impulse buy! He is a waster of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you budget for expenses a month?

Does your wife have monthly allowance or a debit card /credit cards with her name that she can use as much as she wants ?

What is a fair amount to spend if you have one child together but only one income ?

*we are middle class -300k a year plus random bonuses

1) Just our normal stuff.

2) SAHM - spend what ever I want without question. No allowance. We each have a credit card as a primary for the credit rating but both use both.

3) You have plenty of income and are NOT middle class. How is this even an issue?

Not the OP, but if we were in one income of only 300k, I sure as hell would still have to budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you budget for expenses a month?

Does your wife have monthly allowance or a debit card /credit cards with her name that she can use as much as she wants ?

What is a fair amount to spend if you have one child together but only one income ?

*we are middle class -300k a year plus random bonuses

1) Just our normal stuff.

2) SAHM - spend what ever I want without question. No allowance. We each have a credit card as a primary for the credit rating but both use both.

3) You have plenty of income and are NOT middle class. How is this even an issue?

Not the OP, but if we were in one income of only 300k, I sure as hell would still have to budget.

We have made half that, now slightly more and never had a budget. If you have 300K, you can live very comfortable. We easily do. Its all about choices and how much things like your mortgage and cars cost. We can easily pay cash for things like our cars. We don't live lavishly but I buy what I want, within reason and its fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH made 350k last year and I SAH. No budget and don’t have to ask him before I spend anything.

+1

DH is the spendthrift and he has to usually return things because it was an impulse buy! He is a waster of money.

I'd be thrilled if my husband bought his own stuff.. I cannot remember (maybe 15 years ago) when he bought clothing or shoes. I buy it all.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and spend what I want. DH doesn’t care as long as I maintain my looks. He wouid never be okay with me spending money on trips with my girlfriends or family. It must benefit him.

[Anonymous]

We’ve never had a budget because I’m thrifty at heart and I pay all the bills. Our savings continue to grow nicely which is what my DH cares about. If a big expense does come up, say over $250 I will mention it to him. If it’s over $500 i’ll ask his opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He earns the money and I manage it.

Same. He has no idea what I spend nor does he care. I do a good job of managing our finances. One less thing for him to have to worry about. I doubt he could tell you who gets paid when. He earns it. I manage it.

+2. My DH has no clue about our finances and what gets spent. He doesn’t even know how to log into the accounts and doesn’t care. I do have the passwords written down in a safe place if I get hit by a bus, but he’ll have a steep learning curve. It’s just not his thing. In fact, he asks me for cash when he needs money other than a credit card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and spend what I want. DH doesn’t care as long as I maintain my looks. He wouid never be okay with me spending money on trips with my girlfriends or family. It must benefit him.

Cool. Get ready to be replaced in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just wondered what amount was reasonable to spend as a SAHW a month

for everything including some pampering stuff

I take out $300/wk in cash and use it for groceries, random stuff I need