Feeling really insecure about marriage since becoming pregnant with third child

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM for a long time but due to the issues in your marriage, I suggest you go back to work. You are not being insecure...it sounds like he is largely absent.

[Anonymous]

How much does he make OP and how stable is his job? I’m still shocked you married a man who couldn’t drive a car.

[Anonymous]

Not the OP and not the OP's husband. But I make about 400k a year and stopped driving 20 years ago (shortly after getting my driver's license) after an accident with an uninsured driver. I don't think I am a bad catch or a bad mother because I don't drive...

[Anonymous]

OP, is your DH from a more misogynistic country?

[Anonymous]

Why oh why do you women have a litter of children with these loser men and then quit your jobs? This is why women are so far behind. Dumb dumb dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were the kids your idea? Stories like yours are why I'm not bearing children for any man.

No, he actually wanted children more than I did. He just thinks we're living in the 60's and feels the woman does everything at home and for the kids.

Then why did you have 3 kids with him. Just full stop. You are responsible for this mess. Three kids with a man that doesn't drive? Three kids with a man that does not want to spend time with you. This post cannot be real.

He used to be a lot better with everything. He slowly went downhill.

Unless that happened int eh last three months, your decision to have a third child is inexplicable.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why oh why do you women have a litter of children with these loser men and then quit your jobs? This is why women are so far behind. Dumb dumb dumb.

If you can’t be nice, STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 14 weeks pregnant and just recently quit my job to stay home with our 1 and a half year old daughter. My husband works a lot and even when he's not, he always finds something to do with his friends. He rarely comes home until late in the day. When he is home, he's not helpful. He usually just sits and watches tv. The children annoy him very easily. It's like he hates spending time with us. He never goes anywhere with us and never involves us in anything.

At the end of the month, he's finally getting his driver's license. He's always used cabs or his friends would pick him up. He's planning on getting a really nice car and I'm feeling slightly jealous/insecure. He already is never home, now I know he's going to find any reason to drive somewhere. I feel like he'll get so much more attention now that he has a car and so much more freedom to do things. And I'll be stuck driving a mini van with 3 kids and no freedom.

It just sucks. I'm sure it's my hormones but it's all really stressing me out.

Any advice on how to deal with these emotions?

Allow those rich, complex, deeply human feelings to wash over you in a way that celebrates your empowered agency. Then shut your pie-hole.

[Anonymous]

Why did you quit your job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were the kids your idea? Stories like yours are why I'm not bearing children for any man.

No, he actually wanted children more than I did. He just thinks we're living in the 60's and feels the woman does everything at home and for the kids.

And your solution to that was to quit your job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much wrong in this post. You married the wrong dude, and why doesn’t he drive?!

Exactly. I’m not sure where to begin. Is he 12? Why Are you having kids with him?

[Anonymous]

He is obviously home enough for you to be 14 weeks pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were the kids your idea? Stories like yours are why I'm not bearing children for any man.

No, he actually wanted children more than I did. He just thinks we're living in the 60's and feels the woman does everything at home and for the kids.

Then why did you have 3 kids with him. Just full stop. You are responsible for this mess. Three kids with a man that doesn't drive? Three kids with a man that does not want to spend time with you. This post cannot be real.

He used to be a lot better with everything. He slowly went downhill.

Unless that happened int eh last three months, your decision to have a third child is inexplicable.

+1

+2.

[Anonymous]

DH works with men who seem to avoid being home. They stay in the office when they don’t need to. DH rushes home and eats dinner with us most nights, takes kids to sports and helps with bath and bedtime. We have 3 kids. 2 men in his office also have 3 kids and they do everything in their power not to go home before 8. DH is also a higher revenue generator. He goes to the office early and does occasionally work late but he at least tries to come home.

I would not feel secure in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked with him?