Do you have married friends where you suspect one is cheating on the other?

[Anonymous]

I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

In my Arlington neighborhood, it is disproportionately men who hold these kinds of jobs. And many men cheat with a local woman, not only someone else who is on business travel. So it’s not like for every male business traveler there’s a female business traveler who is their accomplice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

In my Arlington neighborhood, it is disproportionately men who hold these kinds of jobs. And many men cheat with a local woman, not only someone else who is on business travel. So it’s not like for every male business traveler there’s a female business traveler who is their accomplice.

You must live in a 1950's neighborhood. While business travel is not 50/50 male/female it's getting closer every year based on what I see on planes and in hotels. FWIW I'm female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

In my Arlington neighborhood, it is disproportionately men who hold these kinds of jobs. And many men cheat with a local woman, not only someone else who is on business travel. So it’s not like for every male business traveler there’s a female business traveler who is their accomplice.

You must live in a 1950's neighborhood. While business travel is not 50/50 male/female it's getting closer every year based on what I see on planes and in hotels. FWIW I'm female.

Ha! Not a 1950s neighborhood, but an incredibly wealthy one.

[Anonymous]

There are couples I know who just seem disconnected when I see them socially. They may be in the same place but they seem apart. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them are having affairs but I can't say I suspect any of them. But being disconnected and lonely can lead to many things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are couples I know who just seem disconnected when I see them socially. They may be in the same place but they seem apart. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them are having affairs but I can't say I suspect any of them. But being disconnected and lonely can lead to many things.

+1 This.

And sometimes, these couples are the ones out doing stuff all the time. You know, they're always hosting the 4th of July BBQ, and they're always the first ones out at the pumpkin patch in the fall...

If you look closely, many of them are just not that into each other. They're always doing things in parallel at their own events, but they're rarely actually interacting.

And everyone is SO stunned when couples like this go south, or someone cheats or whatever. When this happens, I'm polite and pretend to be shocked, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are couples I know who just seem disconnected when I see them socially. They may be in the same place but they seem apart. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them are having affairs but I can't say I suspect any of them. But being disconnected and lonely can lead to many things.

+1 This.

And sometimes, these couples are the ones out doing stuff all the time. You know, they're always hosting the 4th of July BBQ, and they're always the first ones out at the pumpkin patch in the fall...

If you look closely, many of them are just not that into each other. They're always doing things in parallel at their own events, but they're rarely actually interacting.

And everyone is SO stunned when couples like this go south, or someone cheats or whatever. When this happens, I'm polite and pretend to be shocked, too.

Yep, society counsels people to stay together for the kids but wonders why there is no interaction.

[Anonymous]

I watched this play out with a couple that were my upstairs neighbors when my first husband and I were newlyweds. When I mentioned to the wife that her DH had a lot of different women over when she was working nights, she said “Larla, you ain’t been married, but a minute. Come back when you reach your tenth anniversary.” Well, my ex and were divorced in 5 years but they are still married and she is still working nights. I don’t know if she doesn’t care or is afraid to know, but some women have accepted infidelity that way others accept socks on the bedroom floor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

In my Arlington neighborhood, it is disproportionately men who hold these kinds of jobs. And many men cheat with a local woman, not only someone else who is on business travel. So it’s not like for every male business traveler there’s a female business traveler who is their accomplice.

Another reason to stay in MoCo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a number of husbands in our neighborhood who are almost constantly on the road. I would bet the farm on a few of them being cheaters. These men are very talkative and maintain their bodies impeccably, and almost seem oddly vain for a middle-aged man. I definitely get the impression that they're "out there" while they're on the road.

I am sure that there are many others who have been unfaithful who don't fit this profile, but I think this is among one of the more obvious ones. I worked for a man who had an affair on his long-time wife. He was a bit of a porker, but but suddenly discovered the gym...at age 58. He also became more flirtatious with women in the office with whom he wasn't having an affair.

You could tell the affair put a little spring in his aging, pudgy step.

I should add that a lot of these men treat their wives at home very well, infidelity aside. Lavish vacations, planning nice dinners, concert tickets with the wife and so on. I don't think I'd be able to look the other way that much, but many women clearly can. It works for them and they seem like nice people so I MYOB. I do LoL a bit when I read some posters who insist that it should be obvious to others that they would want to know about their husband's infidelity. There are many women who don't want to know.

+1. Men are as faithful as their options. Any man who is successful and charming and on the road is going to have options. That being said, I would much rather be married to a handsome, successful man who dotes on me and lavishes the family than an unemployed unattractive man who happens to be faithful because he has no opportunity.

True that. But also true is that men who are sexually dissatisfied at home actively pursue options. So one good way to know if he’s cheating is to consider is he content at home? If not, you can be certain he’s on the prowl, no need to suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are couples I know who just seem disconnected when I see them socially. They may be in the same place but they seem apart. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them are having affairs but I can't say I suspect any of them. But being disconnected and lonely can lead to many things.

+1 This.

And sometimes, these couples are the ones out doing stuff all the time. You know, they're always hosting the 4th of July BBQ, and they're always the first ones out at the pumpkin patch in the fall...

If you look closely, many of them are just not that into each other. They're always doing things in parallel at their own events, but they're rarely actually interacting.

And everyone is SO stunned when couples like this go south, or someone cheats or whatever. When this happens, I'm polite and pretend to be shocked, too.

I've seen this with some of my parents friends (60's). They are very pleasant but just don't seem to interact or connect in any way. My mom and I have talked about it and she sees it as well. Luckily, my parents are very connected emotionally and physically and even my friends comment on how happy they seem to be after 40 years. I hope to be so lucky!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the “guys who travel a lot” are likely to have affairs. It takes two to tango so the women are doing the same thing. I have married friends who I suspect might be cheating because the state of their marriage is such that it would not be a surprise.

I'm female and I use to travel a lot on business and I was always amazed at guys who would hit on me if I was eating alone in a restaurant. It wasn't like I was sitting at the bar alone. I finally gave up and would just order room service. I have no idea if they were married or not but it was pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Friends, no. Coworkers, yes. I travel 80 percent of the time and around a lot of other travelers and I know some of my married coworkers are on dating apps while they're away from their spouses. I've also been hit on countless times at hotel bars. I've only know the men to cheat. I'm sure some of the women are as well, but they're a lot more discreet. They're not bra-ing out about their dates at the bar with coworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends, no. Coworkers, yes. I travel 80 percent of the time and around a lot of other travelers and I know some of my married coworkers are on dating apps while they're away from their spouses. I've also been hit on countless times at hotel bars. I've only know the men to cheat. I'm sure some of the women are as well, but they're a lot more discreet. They're not bra-ing out about their dates at the bar with coworkers.

Married women are no less likely to cheat than married men. The difference is the approach, IMO. They are less likely to jump in bed with some random guy. Generally, they go down the slippery slope with someone they know, from church, work, gym, etc. That is why you're not seeing it on business trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know my friend has had regular affairs while married and actively seeks out other men.

It's to the point where she doubts that one of her kids is her DH's, and it's glaringly obvious who because the kid looks vastly different from their siblings.

This sounds nasty.