She's got a profile on a dating site. I feel lied too. Do I have the right to be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I am WAY into monogamy. BUT ONE DATE? Dude, chill. Have you even asked her on a second date yet??

Ask her out and if you are really into her, bring up taking profiles down or exclusivity on date four or five.

+ 1000 you seem crazy , Op.

[Anonymous]

She is smart. And you seem controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been on 1 date
I met her at work.

Pfffft did she even know it was a "date"?

This is why you don't shit where you eat, chump.

I work 80 hours a week. Meeting someone at work is inevitable.

Hmm, I would be curious if she has the same type of hours and wants to date someone that may not have a lot of time to give a potential relationship.

Anyway, I think it is a valid to dig a little further if someone specifically said they haven’t been on a date in years but they have an online dating profile up and appear to be dating. I personally assume that until the exclusive talk has happened, you are still dating other people. So I would be irked if you go out of your way to say you aren’t dating other people when you really are. With a benefit of the doubt, maybe it is timing and when they statement was made she hadn’t been on a date in years but things changed. Also, she can be into you and still date other people if you aren’t exclusive. I dated a few guys when I met my now DH and part of that was not to get hung up on any one person before I figured out if he was really a good match and that he felt the same way.

You OP have a decision to make. Given that you work together is it worth it to put cards on the table and let her know that you think your friend crossed paths with her on the dating site or would you rather just move on but handle it in a way that doesn’t make it awkward,

[Anonymous]

It's possible she was being truthful when she spoke to you. I recently went on my first date since losing my husband. I decided I like dating and signed up for a couple sites.

[Anonymous]

Stop using words like “buddy”. It makes you sound like a father in a 50s sitcom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's possible she was being truthful when she spoke to you. I recently went on my first date since losing my husband. I decided I like dating and signed up for a couple sites.

This! I (woman) was on a site for literally months before I went out on a date. I was just kind of wading in and chatting with people first. I could have told people I hadn’t been on a date in forever back then and it also would have been true.

[Anonymous]

Are you 22 or 65?

"I went out for drinks with this coworker and it went well. She seemed into me BUT GUYS she didn't immediately stop her life and close herself off to any possibility of potentially meeting anyone else. How could she, that whore! She seemed like she enjoyed the cocktail so why didn't she drop everything else in her world for me?"

She sounds smart and you sound crazy. "Now this!!" You should say that to her and let those red flags fly free.

[Anonymous]

I hate grammar police but in this case it’s essential and for your best interest: “lied to”, NOT “lied too.”

You did it twice so I’m assuming not a typo — “look into too vs. to.”

[Anonymous]

And one date...oh man, you need to chill. It’s not appropriate for you to have any say after one date.

[Anonymous]

Also - this is probably another troll. Do guys really look at these sites together and share who they might want to go out with? What are the odds that OP’s “buddy” really pulled up this woman to show OP? Gimme a break.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

No, you do not have the right to be upset. You don't know whether she lied about not having been on a date in years, only that she has a profile on a dating site. She might have recently started dating again. She might have created a profile recently precisely because she hasn't been on many dates.

You've been on one date. One. You're way ahead of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and she's planning a date with my buddy.

So set up a threesome. Isn’t that obvious? She likes you ... she likes your friend ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also - this is probably another troll. Do guys really look at these sites together and share who they might want to go out with? What are the odds that OP’s “buddy” really pulled up this woman to show OP? Gimme a break.

I dated a guy who admitted he and his friends swap phones and swipe for each other.

[Anonymous]

On the other hand, had she started talking commitment after one date, you’d think she was desperate and creepy and lose interest.