Decide not to have another just bc of newborn phase?
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Anonymous
Same. I’d have all the newborns and snuggle them on a never ending maternity leave but I can’t afford (financially or emotionally) to raise up more than two kids. |
Anonymous
| If the idea of the newborn phase, 3-4 months, can stop you from having another child then you probably don’t really want another child anyway. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I think that’s what we’re all saying... |
Anonymous
Same... for me the newborn phase was easier than the 3 yr old age. Im better at doing the snuggles and nursing than dealing with the tantrums and power struggles. |
Anonymous
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We are one and done because the first year was so brutal. Pretty sure doing it again would absolutely destroy our marriage and my mental health.
If I could pop out a 3 year old, I’d probably have 2 more. |
Anonymous
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I mean, I am two and done so far be it from me to encourage anyone to have a third. But if it's really JUST the newborn phase that is putting you off, I wonder if there is some way to buy your way out of that a little bit. Maybe hire a night nurse, or a nanny to help. Or, with my second, my husband took unpaid leave to stay home with me for 12 weeks. It made a world of difference.
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Anonymous
| Hey op, maybe your second will be easier than your first. At least you know more about breastfeeding, importance of prioritizing sleep, etc. my second was easier but I also had a better mindset about it all. |
Anonymous
| Formula exists, you know. Recovering from delivery is inescapable (unless you go the surrogate route), but you can formula feed, hire help and (because you are using formula), rotate night shifts eith your spouse. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I want one more but I think DH is one and done because (while our DD is only 1) it’s been one hell of a year. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| We just had our third. My first was “easy” and second was super hard. We have and had a nanny since the first was born. I was in school and was not able to take a semester (or any time) off so basically I never spent more than the first 10 days 24/7 with a baby until now with my third. I am not working at the moment, school is over and I am just taking care of the baby since the older two are in school and have a nanny. I have to say the newborn stage is easy and hard at the same time. It sure is boring and my least favorite stage, but while it’s hard on your sleep, it’s very easy in every other way. I need half a brain to be with baby, but need to focus and think to be with my older kids. I can basically lay down in best most of the day with baby, I am always running around with my older kids. I guess for me the reason why the baby stage is the worst (I have only gone up to early elementary) it’s because baby is not comunicative at all. He does not smile, interact, play, nothing so I feel that there is only work and no “reward”. My older kids my drive me mad (often) but they do something, really smart or funny or they hug me or tell me that they love me and I forget how upset I was at them 5 minutes before. The best thing baby can do is not cry, eat and sleep... at least for now |
Anonymous
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We have three. Our third was an accident.
I wanted to have four but my DH refused because he hates the newborn stage so much. |
Anonymous
Ditto. LOVE being pregnant and the first year. But once they get to be more challenging, I realized our limit is two. Plus, for the long-term finances, more than two would have been difficult. |
Anonymous
Yup. One and done. And it wasn’t 3-4 months, it was 18 months of not sleeping through the night. Other then sleep, DS was a gret baby but the lack of sleep was a killer, |
Anonymous
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Me. I just didn’t have it in me to go through it a third time. We have enough money, a big enough house, all the love, etc. but the only way I would have considered a third is if there
Was a 100% garuntee that I would never miss another hour of sleep. That wasn’t going to happen, so no more babies. I just couldn’t do it. |