How to establish good eaters early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I have had a similar question for awhile (DS is 14 months). For the most part I try, for my own sake, to make my dinner his dinner. But sometimes I'm not eating a full protein-carb-veg type dinner. Or, my dinner is very spicy (I like spicy food). So in those instances I'll roast some extra veggies that only he gets, or in the case of the spicy food, I'll make him a quick plate of veggies and a hamburger or something. Is this a bad idea? It's more for MY sake than his, but I can see how this might establish a food fight later on.

Also, to those saying make sure there's always at least 1 thing he likes--his taste is constantly changing. one day he loves yogurt, the next he hates it. Used to eat blueberries by the pound, now refuses to put them in his mouth. And so on and so on. How do I deal with this moving target without wasting a ton of money and food?

My 17 month old eats and loves spicy food (and has since we introduced it at 10 months). Offer him some, he might like it!

Same. My toddler likes spicy foods too. I think she actually thinks they're more interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT make separate food for your kids. Ever. Eventually they will eat more and more. I had to put salmon on my son's plate probably 30 times before he would even try a bite. He just ate the side dishes or whatever else was being served that he liked.

This.

I never served my kids separate food. We also ate out a lot on weekends...Indian, dim sum, Lebanese, etc. They were used to eating a variety of foods from the get-go.

I never served chicken fingers/Mac & cheese when they were toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like so many things about your child, you really don't get to decide on his food preferences. People who think they did a great job thwarting a fussy eating, really didn't have one. They just had a toddler going through a phase. You can absolutely decline to offer extra options. You can not force a "no thank-you bite" to a kid who is not willing to take it. I have one great eater and one not both raised the same way. I thought by ignoring the narrow selection of the fussy one, they would phase out..but no.

+1

What you can control is offering your kid a variety of foods, not just bland "kid foods," not jumping to offer an alternative to what you've served, and asking your kid to try a bite before saying no. And I think that's valuable, because it really can take repeated exposure to new foods to develop a liking for them.

Beyond that, kids will like what they like. Some kids will like nearly everything, and will grow up to be adults who like nearly everything. Some kids are genuinely picky eaters who eat only a handful of things. Most kids (and adults, really) are somewhere in the middle.

And there are phases--some days, kids are not as hungry and therefore less willing to try new things. Some days, a previously adventurous eater will refuse to try something new--or even something they've liked before. Tastes change.

And keep in mind--what is your goal? I want my kid to eat a reasonably healthy, balanced diet; to be able to enjoy a family meal; and to raise an adult who can find something she likes in most restaurants, who can enjoy meals with friends and be a good guest, and who can maintain a reasonably healthy, balanced diet throughout her life. Having a kid who eats everything is not a moral victory. It's a practical one.

OP here, and this is all really helpful. Like you, my goal is for reasonableness. I know the kid who eats everything under the sun is unlikely - there are plenty of things that I don't like and my husband doesn't like, so why would our son love everything? Anyways, thanks for the wise words!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ellen Slater for recommended reading.

I would offer a plate that includes foods you know they like as well as non-preferred or unknown foods but don't try to make them eat anything. Keep offering non-preferred or unknown foods, continue not to mention what they eat or don't. This will work for MOST kids. MOST kids will not starve themselves. Occasionally there are kids who have extreme eating issues, and for that a parent should seek professional advice.

We aim for this, but we do sorta pressure them to take a bite or two of veggies/meat, since my kids are big carb lovers. My 2 year old will eat allll his carbs and ask for more and I say he can have some, after he's tried some of the other things on his plate. We do aim to keep it pretty low stress though. And now, FINALLY at 2.5 he's eating more veggies willingly so I'm trying to take big steps back from talking about the food on his plate etc.

At age 1, I think just continue to offer a variety of foods WITH a food you know they like, is a good plan.

[Anonymous]

Also keep in mind that so many things are a phase. My kids would eat anything I put in front of them until about 2.5 -3 yo. For the next few years it was more restricted and then they started coming around again at 5 yo. Some tastes never changed -- DC#1 and #2 have never liked food that's even a little bit spicy. DC #3 loves spicy food and can't get enough of it. It's ok to have preferences.

We do the 'no thank you' bite as well. It helps because there are so many random foods my DCs now like that they otherwise wouldn't have tried.

I also emphasize that every meal doesn't have to be a favorite -- if you're hungry and it's tolerable, then you eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest advice I have is don't give in. Hold firm to the you eat what we eat (barring legitimate special needs) and ride out the next 4 years. I agree that the less attention you draw to the issue, the better. As your child gets into three/four it can often be an issue of exerting control and the last thing you want is a battle of wills over eating. When they're a bit older, give them lots of ways to make choices around the meal - which napkins we use, where people sit at the table, what music to listen to, etc.

We require our kids to take a "no thank you bite" so that they are exposed to more flavors and textures over time, but other than that they decide how much they want to eat. We also don't offer anything else until breakfast (assuming we're talking about dinner).

One thing I've noticed is that both of our kids have had a harder time with dinner than with other meals - and I think a lot of it is because they are tired and just done with the day. If you have some flexibility , try introducing new foods at lunch.

+1. Dinner is the hardest, especially if your kid recently dropped a nap or started preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I have had a similar question for awhile (DS is 14 months). For the most part I try, for my own sake, to make my dinner his dinner. But sometimes I'm not eating a full protein-carb-veg type dinner. Or, my dinner is very spicy (I like spicy food). So in those instances I'll roast some extra veggies that only he gets, or in the case of the spicy food, I'll make him a quick plate of veggies and a hamburger or something. Is this a bad idea? It's more for MY sake than his, but I can see how this might establish a food fight later on.

Also, to those saying make sure there's always at least 1 thing he likes--his taste is constantly changing. one day he loves yogurt, the next he hates it. Used to eat blueberries by the pound, now refuses to put them in his mouth. And so on and so on. How do I deal with this moving target without wasting a ton of money and food?

My 17 month old eats and loves spicy food (and has since we introduced it at 10 months). Offer him some, he might like it!

Same. My toddler likes spicy foods too. I think she actually thinks they're more interesting.

I'm the PP and I should have used a better example because DS actually does like spicy food (although I like REALLY spicy food, so he still can't eat off my plate when it's Thai food, for instance. Even DH balks at the spice level I want). Let's use tomato soup as an example--14 month old can't eat soup effectively on his own, and I'm not interested in 1) cleaning the kitchen after trying to let him eat it on his own or 2) spoon feeding him soup, which he would never let me do anyways because he's all about feeding himself (also, I feel like tomato soup and grilled cheese is really phoning it in as a meal for him, right?) So do I stop making meals he physically can't eat (tomato soup) or on those days do I make him his own meals and it's NBD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I have had a similar question for awhile (DS is 14 months). For the most part I try, for my own sake, to make my dinner his dinner. But sometimes I'm not eating a full protein-carb-veg type dinner. Or, my dinner is very spicy (I like spicy food). So in those instances I'll roast some extra veggies that only he gets, or in the case of the spicy food, I'll make him a quick plate of veggies and a hamburger or something. Is this a bad idea? It's more for MY sake than his, but I can see how this might establish a food fight later on.

Also, to those saying make sure there's always at least 1 thing he likes--his taste is constantly changing. one day he loves yogurt, the next he hates it. Used to eat blueberries by the pound, now refuses to put them in his mouth. And so on and so on. How do I deal with this moving target without wasting a ton of money and food?

My 17 month old eats and loves spicy food (and has since we introduced it at 10 months). Offer him some, he might like it!

Same. My toddler likes spicy foods too. I think she actually thinks they're more interesting.

I'm the PP and I should have used a better example because DS actually does like spicy food (although I like REALLY spicy food, so he still can't eat off my plate when it's Thai food, for instance. Even DH balks at the spice level I want). Let's use tomato soup as an example--14 month old can't eat soup effectively on his own, and I'm not interested in 1) cleaning the kitchen after trying to let him eat it on his own or 2) spoon feeding him soup, which he would never let me do anyways because he's all about feeding himself (also, I feel like tomato soup and grilled cheese is really phoning it in as a meal for him, right?) So do I stop making meals he physically can't eat (tomato soup) or on those days do I make him his own meals and it's NBD?

I'm sure now and then it's NBD. I'm also sure that if grilled cheese and tomato soup is "phoning it in," I'm guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I have had a similar question for awhile (DS is 14 months). For the most part I try, for my own sake, to make my dinner his dinner. But sometimes I'm not eating a full protein-carb-veg type dinner. Or, my dinner is very spicy (I like spicy food). So in those instances I'll roast some extra veggies that only he gets, or in the case of the spicy food, I'll make him a quick plate of veggies and a hamburger or something. Is this a bad idea? It's more for MY sake than his, but I can see how this might establish a food fight later on.

Also, to those saying make sure there's always at least 1 thing he likes--his taste is constantly changing. one day he loves yogurt, the next he hates it. Used to eat blueberries by the pound, now refuses to put them in his mouth. And so on and so on. How do I deal with this moving target without wasting a ton of money and food?

My 17 month old eats and loves spicy food (and has since we introduced it at 10 months). Offer him some, he might like it!

Same. My toddler likes spicy foods too. I think she actually thinks they're more interesting.

I'm the PP and I should have used a better example because DS actually does like spicy food (although I like REALLY spicy food, so he still can't eat off my plate when it's Thai food, for instance. Even DH balks at the spice level I want). Let's use tomato soup as an example--14 month old can't eat soup effectively on his own, and I'm not interested in 1) cleaning the kitchen after trying to let him eat it on his own or 2) spoon feeding him soup, which he would never let me do anyways because he's all about feeding himself (also, I feel like tomato soup and grilled cheese is really phoning it in as a meal for him, right?) So do I stop making meals he physically can't eat (tomato soup) or on those days do I make him his own meals and it's NBD?

I'm sure now and then it's NBD. I'm also sure that if grilled cheese and tomato soup is "phoning it in," I'm guilty.

I didn't mean any offense, as I LOVE a grilled cheese and tomato soup night (or just grilled cheese. Or just a cheese plate. you get my gist.) But since the kid will jam fistfulls of broccoli in his mouth like popcorn ATM, I feel like I need to really capitalize on that, right?

[Anonymous]

I have two kids. One will try just about anything but doesn't eat very much, and the other one will eat as much as allowed of familiar/preferred food but struggles with trying new things. The challenges with them are different.

For the kid who eats like a bird, I try to maximize nutrition. I have a pasta sauce that is vegetable heavy that she loves, so I serve that with pasta and meatballs for her at least once a week, sometimes more if we are strapped for time. It is a great way of packing vegetables, whole grains (the pasta is whole grain), and protein (meatballs) into a fairly small portion, and I try to use as little pasta as possible since she will fill up on that and then claim she's too full to eat the meatballs. She will also eat curry and stir fry as long as they are not too spicy, but will fill up on rice if given the option to do so. She drinks a cup of milk with every meal, full fat.

With the one that eats a lot of fewer things, it was a matter of picking 3-5 staples that I know she will eat and defaulting to one of those as the primary dinner while still offering new stuff along side it. She loves beans and rice and would eat some combination of beans and rice every evening if allowed. I have gotten her to eat kale by slicing it up and sauteing in with the beans or the rice. Ditto with meat, which she does not usually like.

They both love mac and cheese. They both hate chicken nuggets. Neither one of them is big on bread in any form.

We always have something that I know they will both eat, but that thing is not usually the healthiest of food. They will both eat pasta or rice, so we always have one or the other of those things at dinner. I keep offering new things, and if they take to them, fine. If not, I keep offering in hopes they change their mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I have had a similar question for awhile (DS is 14 months). For the most part I try, for my own sake, to make my dinner his dinner. But sometimes I'm not eating a full protein-carb-veg type dinner. Or, my dinner is very spicy (I like spicy food). So in those instances I'll roast some extra veggies that only he gets, or in the case of the spicy food, I'll make him a quick plate of veggies and a hamburger or something. Is this a bad idea? It's more for MY sake than his, but I can see how this might establish a food fight later on.

Also, to those saying make sure there's always at least 1 thing he likes--his taste is constantly changing. one day he loves yogurt, the next he hates it. Used to eat blueberries by the pound, now refuses to put them in his mouth. And so on and so on. How do I deal with this moving target without wasting a ton of money and food?

My 17 month old eats and loves spicy food (and has since we introduced it at 10 months). Offer him some, he might like it!

Same. My toddler likes spicy foods too. I think she actually thinks they're more interesting.

I'm the PP and I should have used a better example because DS actually does like spicy food (although I like REALLY spicy food, so he still can't eat off my plate when it's Thai food, for instance. Even DH balks at the spice level I want). Let's use tomato soup as an example--14 month old can't eat soup effectively on his own, and I'm not interested in 1) cleaning the kitchen after trying to let him eat it on his own or 2) spoon feeding him soup, which he would never let me do anyways because he's all about feeding himself (also, I feel like tomato soup and grilled cheese is really phoning it in as a meal for him, right?) So do I stop making meals he physically can't eat (tomato soup) or on those days do I make him his own meals and it's NBD?

I'm sure now and then it's NBD. I'm also sure that if grilled cheese and tomato soup is "phoning it in," I'm guilty.

I didn't mean any offense, as I LOVE a grilled cheese and tomato soup night (or just grilled cheese. Or just a cheese plate. you get my gist.) But since the kid will jam fistfulls of broccoli in his mouth like popcorn ATM, I feel like I need to really capitalize on that, right?

Ha, 100%!

[Anonymous]

3.5 yo twins are very good eaters (they had brussels sprouts and cauliflower for breakfast and we went out to an indian restaurant for lunch, e.g.). While I know we are lucky and I don’t take all the credit I do think we’ve done some things that helped:

1) We try to eat together and eat roughly the same things
2) We let them get hungry. We have snacks between meals because they are still small but we keep snacks small and don’t offer different food for snacks than we would for meals. I have a lot of friends who do things like goldfish for snacks early on because it’s just snack time not a real meal, but then their kid ends up rejecting the balanced meal and filling up later on goldfish instead. So I keep snacks as “real” food.
3) I offer super small initial servings of food when they are young. Something like 1 raspberry, 1/6 of a cheese stick, 1/2 of a brussels sprout, etc. that way their commitment level is low and they are more likely to try something new.
4) We do a glass of milk before bed every night, so we don’t battle over bedtime. If they refuse dinner and throw a fit, I can stay calm and shrug it off because I know they will get 50-100 calories of whole milk before bed so they won’t ever have to go to bed truly hungry.

[Anonymous]

Check out on Instagram: kids.eat.in.color

[Anonymous]

Lots of good tips. Here's one that I did: getting my kids to trust that I'm offering something they might like. The knee jerk from most of us is to not try something new. So before I introduced something new, I offered a lot of new things that were great. Like different candy, flavors of ice cream, you get the idea. So my kids quickly stopped the "I don't want to try that" or "it looks terrible". I still do this; if we're at a restaurant or whatever, I will get some new things and offer a small bite, saying that I think they will find it delicious and they can have one bite--but are not required to (it's my plate - they do have to try whatever is on their own). On the last day of school I get five *new* flavors of ice cream to try. A lot of my spouse's reluctance to try new things is that he was forced to try stuff instead of choosing to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT make separate food for your kids. Ever. Eventually they will eat more and more. I had to put salmon on my son's plate probably 30 times before he would even try a bite. He just ate the side dishes or whatever else was being served that he liked.

This.

I never served my kids separate food. We also ate out a lot on weekends...Indian, dim sum, Lebanese, etc. They were used to eating a variety of foods from the get-go.

I never served chicken fingers/Mac & cheese when they were toddlers.

This!! I have three kids. One super adventurous eater, one more picky and one in the middle. The picky eater is just more stubborn - she will refuse to eat something just because, even if she has had it before and likes it. I do not battle over food at all. I make one dinner, they can eat what they want from the options available. We eat out a lot and always have, so they are used to trying different types of food. 2 of my 3 like spicy food (ironically the most adventurous eater doesn’t like spicy food, but neither do I).

I do accommodate reasonable preferences. All 3 hate sautéed spinach because of the slimy texture, so I don’t cook it for them, l make some other veggie they will eat instead. One doesn’t like cheese sauce except Mac and cheese, so I keep sauce on the side for his portion. Small things that to me are different from making a separate meal. I hate olives so I would never mix them into a salad, and my DH hates walnuts so same deal.