Parents who don’t like kid birthday parties, do you tell your child about the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or do you decline or not RSVP and never tell your child about the party?

Why would you not give the host the gift of courtesy in responding NO, just because you don’t want your kid to go?

This board is beyond weird with RSVPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or do you decline or not RSVP and never tell your child about the party?

Why would you not give the host the gift of courtesy in responding NO, just because you don’t want your kid to go?

This board is beyond weird with RSVPs.

Yes! Why in God's name would you NOT tell the host you aren't coming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or do you decline or not RSVP and never tell your child about the party?

If it's at a bounce house (especially if it is at the popular but loud and chaotic Monkey Joe's), I will Decline. I used to suck it up and try to go to every one of them (since my DD has fun), but after attending more than 25 parties over the past few years my child has been in preschool and kindergarten, I can only take so many bounce house parties a year. It feels like there's one every other month. I hate that place and all bounce house places. Now, I Decline with less guilt about doing so. I still try to attend most, but just can't handle. Especially now that my younger child is 3 and he's getting invitations from his classmates too. I've had times when we had 3 parties a month. AARGH!

Wow. So it isn't even that your kids has trouble with bounce places?

I feel the same way as the above PP about parties at Chuck E Cheese. We always somehow have a conflict when there's a party at Chuck E Cheese.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is some bad parenting. Not about you. Plus they become dropoff soon, anyway.

- sincerely, someone who hates those places as much as the next person but knew what I signed up for

[Anonymous]

I guess I am outliear, but I like it when my kids are invited to bday parties. Its 2 hrs of entertainment/see friends, they're fed, and everyone is in a good mood. Takes the pressure off of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. This is some bad parenting. Not about you. Plus they become dropoff soon, anyway.

- sincerely, someone who hates those places as much as the next person but knew what I signed up for

+1

We never decline a party unless we have a legit conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am outliear, but I like it when my kids are invited to bday parties. Its 2 hrs of entertainment/see friends, they're fed, and everyone is in a good mood. Takes the pressure off of me.

Yup - this. Enough with the sanctimommy "we need family time on the weekends." Ugh - no, I need my kid entertained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing your kid a disservice by not telling them or preventing them from going. Attending friends birthday parties is a part of ones childhood.

This. I don't dislike the kids birthday parties but when they are held at 12:30 or 1:30pm, I am just tired and would rather not go. But, I went anyway as my 3 year old LOVES birthday parties. She talks about it non stop and she has so much fun. I think of it as a type of play date but with all her school friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am outliear, but I like it when my kids are invited to bday parties. Its 2 hrs of entertainment/see friends, they're fed, and everyone is in a good mood. Takes the pressure off of me.

Yup - this. Enough with the sanctimommy "we need family time on the weekends." Ugh - no, I need my kid entertained.

and it's only 2 or 3 hours. that still leaves plenty of time over the weekend for family togetherness.

[Anonymous]

I've declined a handful when I'm maxed out and it's a kid I know mine is not really close to, but we attend 90%. And rsvp 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I am outliear, but I like it when my kids are invited to bday parties. Its 2 hrs of entertainment/see friends, they're fed, and everyone is in a good mood. Takes the pressure off of me.

Yup - this. Enough with the sanctimommy "we need family time on the weekends." Ugh - no, I need my kid entertained.

Me too! I really enjoy kid birthday parties! I love talking to the other moms and seeing the kids. I also like seeing my kid have different experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If we can't attend because we have a prior commitment, I tell them. "Larla invited you to her birthday party. Unfortunately, we are doing X, so you can't go, but be sure to wish her a happy birthday!" Not telling her could result in unnecessary hurt feelings if she finds out about it and thinks Larla didn't invite her, and I can't think of an upside to not telling her other than not having to hear any complaints about not being able to go. Sometimes you can't go to the party. Sometimes other people can't come to your party. That's just life, and a thing that you have to learn to deal with.

Yes, yes, yes! Please don't try to keep your children from feeling disappointed or from not getting everything they want, immediately. Learning to handle the little hurts and the little dsappoinments allows us to survive the bigger hurts and disappointments (not getting into the school we wanted, having someone break up with us, not getting to be the lead in the big play, having to say goodbye to a best friend who moves away, etc)

We are doing a disservice if we try to save their feelings. As a preschool director who has been in the business for 30 years, I'm seeing so many 3 and 4 year olds who want everything NOW (and get it) and NEVER get disappointed (either they get what they want OR they are never told about the thing to "save their feelings") And now, in preschool classrooms, when 15 kids cannot ALL have or do "it", immediately, etc - they are having a really hard time! There are so many tantrums and so much screaming and running to each teacher to try to get it NOW. It's sad. Children already have big emotions, but by protecting them (or giving into their every whim because we are busy) we are doing them no favors.

[Anonymous]

What’s ironic is OP will be here in two years, wondering why her kid doesn’t get invited to anything, or in a few months, wondering why no one wants to come to her kid’s party. Cause her kid is popular and always got invited to all the events, but some doesn’t understand what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we can't attend because we have a prior commitment, I tell them. "Larla invited you to her birthday party. Unfortunately, we are doing X, so you can't go, but be sure to wish her a happy birthday!" Not telling her could result in unnecessary hurt feelings if she finds out about it and thinks Larla didn't invite her, and I can't think of an upside to not telling her other than not having to hear any complaints about not being able to go. Sometimes you can't go to the party. Sometimes other people can't come to your party. That's just life, and a thing that you have to learn to deal with.

Yes, yes, yes! Please don't try to keep your children from feeling disappointed or from not getting everything they want, immediately. Learning to handle the little hurts and the little dsappoinments allows us to survive the bigger hurts and disappointments (not getting into the school we wanted, having someone break up with us, not getting to be the lead in the big play, having to say goodbye to a best friend who moves away, etc)

We are doing a disservice if we try to save their feelings. As a preschool director who has been in the business for 30 years, I'm seeing so many 3 and 4 year olds who want everything NOW (and get it) and NEVER get disappointed (either they get what they want OR they are never told about the thing to "save their feelings") And now, in preschool classrooms, when 15 kids cannot ALL have or do "it", immediately, etc - they are having a really hard time! There are so many tantrums and so much screaming and running to each teacher to try to get it NOW. It's sad. Children already have big emotions, but by protecting them (or giving into their every whim because we are busy) we are doing them no favors.

Hey, preschool director... surely you see there a difference between not being able to attend a party due to a specific circumstance, and parent avoiding all parties and not RSVPing because they hate all parties?

I trust in your 30 years, you understand that children’s feelings are not the only factor.

[Anonymous]

We go when my kid really likes the kid (I hear about the kid at home). We go if it is at an unusual place. We go if we have time. I have 3 kids. We don't go if we don't have time, or we don't hear about the child ever. If the kid wnats to go and we can't, I say we can't. We went to 8 bday parties in a 3 weekend time span at the beginning of this year. We say no to many many parties and say yes to some.