Reply to Parents who don’t like kid birthday parties, do you tell your child about the party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If we can't attend because we have a prior commitment, I tell them.  "Larla invited you to her birthday party.  Unfortunately, we are doing X, so you can't go, but be sure to wish her a happy birthday!"  Not telling her could result in unnecessary hurt feelings if she finds out about it and thinks Larla didn't invite her, and I can't think of an upside to not telling her other than not having to hear any complaints about not being able to go.  Sometimes you can't go to the party.  Sometimes other people can't come to your party.  That's just life, and a thing that you have to learn to deal with.[/quote]

Yes, yes, yes!  Please don't try to keep your children from feeling disappointed or from not getting everything they want, immediately.  Learning to handle the little hurts and the little dsappoinments allows us to survive the bigger hurts and disappointments (not getting into the school we wanted, having someone break up with us, not getting to be the lead in the big play, having to say goodbye to a best friend who moves away, etc)

We are doing a disservice if we try to save their feelings.  As a preschool director who has been in the business for 30 years, I'm seeing so many 3 and 4 year olds who want everything NOW (and get it) and NEVER get disappointed (either they get what they want OR they are never told about the thing to "save their feelings") And now, in preschool classrooms, when 15 kids cannot ALL have or do "it", immediately, etc - they are having a really hard time!  There are so many tantrums and so much screaming and running to each teacher to try to get it NOW.  It's sad.  Children already have big emotions, but by protecting them (or giving into their every whim because we are busy) we are doing them no favors.  [/quote]

Hey, preschool director... surely you see there a difference between not being able to attend a party due to a specific circumstance, and parent avoiding all parties and not RSVPing because they hate all parties?

I trust in your 30 years, you understand that children’s feelings are not the only factor. [/quote]

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