Growing up poor, coming into money, yet clinging to old lifestyle? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I haven't seen Queen of Versailles in a long time but as I recall she embraced being rich and spending money. Are you saying that she didn't act refined enough for your taste? Because it's not like she was obsessed with living on a paltry amount of money. Rather the opposite.

They did lose it all at one point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

You and the op really should hang out. You are both grotesque.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's so hard to understand? Growing up poor means limited or no exposure to certain refined things in life, limited resources to cultivate taste, etc. Suddenly come into money does not change that overnight. The person needs to have foresight, self-awareness to change.

Maybe she likes herself just the way she is? Maybe she doesn't feel the need to please the ilk of you or the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

You and the op really should hang out. You are both grotesque.

Huh? PP was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

You and the op really should hang out. You are both grotesque.

This poster says they came from it. They didn't say they have now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

Thank you for posting that. How lovely. What a breath of fresh air.

Old money bragging about how thrifty they are, or how they don't show their wealth is hardly fresh. You can count on them making this known to others just as you expect vegans to let you know that they are vegan. It's old and tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

Ha! I have multiple pieces of Hemnes furniture in our home but I wouldn't pretend that it's "not that bad". It's furniture that I don't care about getting dinged up by the kids because it's cheap and looks good enough from 6 feet away. It's made from pine, a softwood that is generally unsuitable for furniture making other than for pieces where you want the rustic look or want it to show wear so as to gather "character". Hearing someone talk about Hemnes and "solid wood" in the same sentence is like looking at fish stick packages that proclaims "real fish!"

[Anonymous]

You’re promoting the fallacy that expensive things are somehow “better”. People who have worked hard for their wealth (as opposed to inherited) are usually smart enough to recognize the lie. They’re also smart enough to be frugal and live beneath their means.

[Anonymous]

Never seen the show, but I grew up poor, and I am still frugal right now. I am content, I have plenty of money now so I don't need to buy luxury items trying to impress anyone. It's funny because when I was poor(er), in my early 20s, I was the opposite, having no money made me wanting to spend more, fresh out of college I would buy purse that cost one paycheck. Now I don't! A classic looking $500 purse will do, it would be weird to carry a Chanel to work anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never seen the show, but I grew up poor, and I am still frugal right now. I am content, I have plenty of money now so I don't need to buy luxury items trying to impress anyone. It's funny because when I was poor(er), in my early 20s, I was the opposite, having no money made me wanting to spend more, fresh out of college I would buy purse that cost one paycheck. Now I don't! A classic looking $500 purse will do, it would be weird to carry a Chanel to work anyway!

You pay $500 for a purse?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she just values things differently than you do. Maybe she prefers being around unpretentious people who are real, open, honest, funny, laid back. Maybe she is very uncomfortable around snobby, best dressed, exclusive, fashion plate types. Maybe she likes Ikea?

Just because she isn't living her life the way that you would if you were in her shoes, doesn't mean that she and her husband aren't happy. Sounds like they don't GAF about impressing people.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never seen the show, but I grew up poor, and I am still frugal right now. I am content, I have plenty of money now so I don't need to buy luxury items trying to impress anyone. It's funny because when I was poor(er), in my early 20s, I was the opposite, having no money made me wanting to spend more, fresh out of college I would buy purse that cost one paycheck. Now I don't! A classic looking $500 purse will do, it would be weird to carry a Chanel to work anyway!

You pay $500 for a purse?

so cheap, what classic bag can you get for 500?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never seen the show, but I grew up poor, and I am still frugal right now. I am content, I have plenty of money now so I don't need to buy luxury items trying to impress anyone. It's funny because when I was poor(er), in my early 20s, I was the opposite, having no money made me wanting to spend more, fresh out of college I would buy purse that cost one paycheck. Now I don't! A classic looking $500 purse will do, it would be weird to carry a Chanel to work anyway!

Wow, you are really humble, carrying your "with the people" 500 dollar purse instead of a Chanel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The unrefined person here is not your friend. It's you, with your coarse judgements.

I come from European aristocrat money, and it's normal in my circle to use quality things until they fall apart. Cars, clothes, etc. We find it distasteful to display wealth.

But I am humble enough to realize that refinement is first in the feelings and the mind, regardless of how much material things you have! Your friend may be a treasure. IKEA furniture really does not matter - and their solid wood Hemnes line is actually not that bad

Thank you for posting that. How lovely. What a breath of fresh air.

Old money bragging about how thrifty they are, or how they don't show their wealth is hardly fresh. You can count on them making this known to others just as you expect vegans to let you know that they are vegan. It's old and tired.

And self-proclaimed humbleness! Ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the documentary The Queen of Versailles or Don’t be Tardy? Why it is so hard for people who grew up poor to drop that persona?

I know someone who reminds me of those women, and it’s always puzzled me. She’s not now rich to that level, but her husband makes enough money to give her a solid UMC life. Yet, she is so unrefined, it’s almost like she completely rejects dropping her old lifestyle. There is tackily worn designer apparel, druggie and drama mama friends, all while living in a beautiful home in an UMC area (that she fills with IKEA), a professional (and somwhat ashamed?) husband.

What happens when these women (men?) suddenly come into money, yet they cling to being poor?

These aren't markers of poverty, they are markers of class. You seem like someone with no class yourself.