Help me figure out what to do with my K child

[Anonymous]

It's not helpful but I can only think of Waldorf schools as fitting the bill by 1st grade. Not sure about Montessori and if they'd be better or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your in-boundary school?

Keep in mind that DCPS schools all have the same curriculum, so you won't have a ton of variety across schools.

That said, kids are definitely not "sitting at their desks all day" in K. There is a lot of learning through play.

PP. Ah, I just realized that you're looking for 1st, not K.

Some privates are definitely more play-based, but since that's not an option, perhaps try for one of the charters like CMI or ITS? Both hard to lottery into, though.

Yes, sorry I wasn't clear. She's in K now and will be going into 1st.
We're at CMI right now... Which my other child loves but this one doesn't. She has a great teacher and loves to play with her classmates but it's way more structured than we'd like and they don't get too much freedom during school hours.

Aha. So even CMI is too structured? I am not clear on their actual curriculum but I assumed it was more open than DCPS would be. Therefore, you may want to try hard for Montessori or maybe an experiential school. One thing to look at...there is Christian Family Montessori right next to CMI. I believe it is not very $$ for a private school. Neighbors like it; I think it's not too heavy on the Christian aspect. This is if you do not get into an alternative model charter in lottery. Some Montessori won't admit past K, though 1st is a good time to enter as ages are grouped and after K they shift to a new classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll adjust. Some charters are more child-centered (Two Rivers, ITS) but very hard to get into. I think the best thing you can do is minimize the time she's in after/before-care so she can play at home.

We don't do before or after care. She cried this morning from the time she woke up until we left for school, and then she walked into school like a scolded puppy. It breaks my heart...
Her sister is in the same school and loves it, so I know it's just that my child needs more play. They do sit in their desks A LOT, and then even have silent lunches for the first 10 mins or so.

Well maybe aftercare a few days, assume it is the run-around kind, not the stay inside and color kind, would be a good idea even if you don't really need the child care?

Are you really up for having each kid in a different school, or would you move sibling as well?

I would probably move the sibling as well but I know it could mean that for a year they would be in 2 different schools. I am willing to deal with that because it's better than having a child crying every morning because she doesn't want to go to school.

That seems excessive if she merely wishes there were more playtime. It seems many kids might want more playtime, but aren't crying daily about it. Do you think something else could be going on, like a problem with the teacher, or classmates? I'd probe more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your in-boundary school?

Keep in mind that DCPS schools all have the same curriculum, so you won't have a ton of variety across schools.

That said, kids are definitely not "sitting at their desks all day" in K. There is a lot of learning through play.

PP. Ah, I just realized that you're looking for 1st, not K.

Some privates are definitely more play-based, but since that's not an option, perhaps try for one of the charters like CMI or ITS? Both hard to lottery into, though.

Yes, sorry I wasn't clear. She's in K now and will be going into 1st.
We're at CMI right now... Which my other child loves but this one doesn't. She has a great teacher and loves to play with her classmates but it's way more structured than we'd like and they don't get too much freedom during school hours.

Aha. So even CMI is too structured? I am not clear on their actual curriculum but I assumed it was more open than DCPS would be. Therefore, you may want to try hard for Montessori or maybe an experiential school. One thing to look at...there is Christian Family Montessori right next to CMI. I believe it is not very $$ for a private school. Neighbors like it; I think it's not too heavy on the Christian aspect. This is if you do not get into an alternative model charter in lottery. Some Montessori won't admit past K, though 1st is a good time to enter as ages are grouped and after K they shift to a new classroom.

Yes, it's hard to say and I wouldn't classify them as too structured based on my child. I have 2 kids there and one really loves it. My K child loves her teacher and her classmates but she complains that they don't play enough.
It's hard to figure out if there's something else that's bothering her, but so far that seems to be why she doesn't like going.

[Anonymous]

Montessori is not sitting at your desk all day but it is very structured. Not sure if that would be a better fit for your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll adjust. Some charters are more child-centered (Two Rivers, ITS) but very hard to get into. I think the best thing you can do is minimize the time she's in after/before-care so she can play at home.

We don't do before or after care. She cried this morning from the time she woke up until we left for school, and then she walked into school like a scolded puppy. It breaks my heart...
Her sister is in the same school and loves it, so I know it's just that my child needs more play. They do sit in their desks A LOT, and then even have silent lunches for the first 10 mins or so.

Well maybe aftercare a few days, assume it is the run-around kind, not the stay inside and color kind, would be a good idea even if you don't really need the child care?

Are you really up for having each kid in a different school, or would you move sibling as well?

I would probably move the sibling as well but I know it could mean that for a year they would be in 2 different schools. I am willing to deal with that because it's better than having a child crying every morning because she doesn't want to go to school.

That seems excessive if she merely wishes there were more playtime. It seems many kids might want more playtime, but aren't crying daily about it. Do you think something else could be going on, like a problem with the teacher, or classmates? I'd probe more.

It's crossed my mind and I'm trying to find out more. I have volunteered many times so I have seen the dynamics. She loves her teachers and classmates, she's really happy when we get together with them after school.
I think maybe the classroom just doesn't give enough room for play and exploration, they have silent lunches, kids sometimes miss out on activities for 10 mins or so if they misbehave, etc., they have a sticker chart and she's really worried about not getting green stars (she hasn't gotten a red one yet). I kind of get of all this because managing a lot of kids is hard but they're so young that I think my child is just not handling well. And then I wonder what's my alternative here since I bet most schools are this way...

[Anonymous]

We are in APS and kids don’t sit in desks all day until 2nd. Where are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll adjust. Some charters are more child-centered (Two Rivers, ITS) but very hard to get into. I think the best thing you can do is minimize the time she's in after/before-care so she can play at home.

We don't do before or after care. She cried this morning from the time she woke up until we left for school, and then she walked into school like a scolded puppy. It breaks my heart...
Her sister is in the same school and loves it, so I know it's just that my child needs more play. They do sit in their desks A LOT, and then even have silent lunches for the first 10 mins or so.

Well maybe aftercare a few days, assume it is the run-around kind, not the stay inside and color kind, would be a good idea even if you don't really need the child care?

Are you really up for having each kid in a different school, or would you move sibling as well?

I would probably move the sibling as well but I know it could mean that for a year they would be in 2 different schools. I am willing to deal with that because it's better than having a child crying every morning because she doesn't want to go to school.

That seems excessive if she merely wishes there were more playtime. It seems many kids might want more playtime, but aren't crying daily about it. Do you think something else could be going on, like a problem with the teacher, or classmates? I'd probe more.

It's crossed my mind and I'm trying to find out more. I have volunteered many times so I have seen the dynamics. She loves her teachers and classmates, she's really happy when we get together with them after school.
I think maybe the classroom just doesn't give enough room for play and exploration, they have silent lunches, kids sometimes miss out on activities for 10 mins or so if they misbehave, etc., they have a sticker chart and she's really worried about not getting green stars (she hasn't gotten a red one yet). I kind of get of all this because managing a lot of kids is hard but they're so young that I think my child is just not handling well. And then I wonder what's my alternative here since I bet most schools are this way...

PP here. I wonder if she might be having some minor (or moderate) issues with anxiety? Some kids have a real fear of getting in trouble/getting on "red" at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in APS and kids don’t sit in desks all day until 2nd. Where are you?

This is the DC public schools board.

[Anonymous]

What is the deal with silent lunch? Is this a normal thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll adjust. Some charters are more child-centered (Two Rivers, ITS) but very hard to get into. I think the best thing you can do is minimize the time she's in after/before-care so she can play at home.

We don't do before or after care. She cried this morning from the time she woke up until we left for school, and then she walked into school like a scolded puppy. It breaks my heart...
Her sister is in the same school and loves it, so I know it's just that my child needs more play. They do sit in their desks A LOT, and then even have silent lunches for the first 10 mins or so.

Well maybe aftercare a few days, assume it is the run-around kind, not the stay inside and color kind, would be a good idea even if you don't really need the child care?

Are you really up for having each kid in a different school, or would you move sibling as well?

I would probably move the sibling as well but I know it could mean that for a year they would be in 2 different schools. I am willing to deal with that because it's better than having a child crying every morning because she doesn't want to go to school.

That seems excessive if she merely wishes there were more playtime. It seems many kids might want more playtime, but aren't crying daily about it. Do you think something else could be going on, like a problem with the teacher, or classmates? I'd probe more.

+1 to probing more as to what is going on here.

I would want to know what she would rather be doing instead of whatever they are doing in school. I have a 3rd grader, and in 1st grade, she really struggled with the transition from having a lot of choice time and centers (as they had in PK and K) to having more academic work completed at a desk. While it was hard for me to watch her hate going to school, I also recognized that due to the culture where we live, to an extent, she kind of just had to get over the frustration and do the work as it was structured. We (her teacher and I) did what we could to help. The teacher allowed her to do some of her work in the classroom library, which involved sitting in a beanbag chair on the floor instead of a desk, but that was really the only thing that the teacher herself could do. They also had the first 10 minutes of lunch silent, which I found fairly mean but also understood the rationale behind. For my part, I tried to maximize play in the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with silent lunch? Is this a normal thing?

I'm not sure what's the deal with this... I was very upset when I found out but a lot of the parents seem to like it.
It's the first 10-15 mins of lunch and then they can talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll adjust. Some charters are more child-centered (Two Rivers, ITS) but very hard to get into. I think the best thing you can do is minimize the time she's in after/before-care so she can play at home.

We don't do before or after care. She cried this morning from the time she woke up until we left for school, and then she walked into school like a scolded puppy. It breaks my heart...
Her sister is in the same school and loves it, so I know it's just that my child needs more play. They do sit in their desks A LOT, and then even have silent lunches for the first 10 mins or so.

Well maybe aftercare a few days, assume it is the run-around kind, not the stay inside and color kind, would be a good idea even if you don't really need the child care?

Are you really up for having each kid in a different school, or would you move sibling as well?

I would probably move the sibling as well but I know it could mean that for a year they would be in 2 different schools. I am willing to deal with that because it's better than having a child crying every morning because she doesn't want to go to school.

That seems excessive if she merely wishes there were more playtime. It seems many kids might want more playtime, but aren't crying daily about it. Do you think something else could be going on, like a problem with the teacher, or classmates? I'd probe more.

Thank you! This is my oldest and all this I new to me. I appreciate your advice a lot!

+1 to probing more as to what is going on here.

I would want to know what she would rather be doing instead of whatever they are doing in school. I have a 3rd grader, and in 1st grade, she really struggled with the transition from having a lot of choice time and centers (as they had in PK and K) to having more academic work completed at a desk. While it was hard for me to watch her hate going to school, I also recognized that due to the culture where we live, to an extent, she kind of just had to get over the frustration and do the work as it was structured. We (her teacher and I) did what we could to help. The teacher allowed her to do some of her work in the classroom library, which involved sitting in a beanbag chair on the floor instead of a desk, but that was really the only thing that the teacher herself could do. They also had the first 10 minutes of lunch silent, which I found fairly mean but also understood the rationale behind. For my part, I tried to maximize play in the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Behavior charts are literally the worst, and not at all considered best practice anymore. It is far more effective to incentivize good behavior than to shame and call out the bad.

Go ahead and lottery if you can find a better overall school, but in the meantime, I would ask for a meeting with the teacher, perhaps a school counselor to discuss. What you are describing seems pretty far from the norm.

Silent lunch for first 10 minutes, vs an entire silent lunch are very different things. Which is it OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with silent lunch? Is this a normal thing?

At my kid's school, the first 10 minutes are silent. I asked about this because I thought it was mean, and what the principal told me was that because they have only one space for ~300 kids to eat lunch, they have to cycle kids in and out pretty quickly. By the time kids go through the lunch line, sometimes their lunch break is already half over. The purpose of the 10 silent minutes is to make sure that they actually eat something.

It makes sense, but I wish that there was a way to increase the amount of time they are spending at lunch from 20 minutes to at least twice that so that they were also able to be social. Human beings have been socializing around eating for many, many years, and I think it sucks that those skills are not being honed at school.