Forum Index
»
Private & Independent Schools
Bummed...
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Curious, what exactly do you mean by "lack of social skills?" |
Anonymous
| There seems to be a correlation between kids who grow up in a privileged environment and affluent home and behavior issues. It is often suggested to be a result of parents who are too busy with their careers and networking/social evenings to spend time with their children, have family dinners and teach them how to behave. |
Anonymous
| It's something which has given me pause over the years, including meeting teachers at those private schools who sent their kids elsewhere.... |
Anonymous
Maybe it is also because of feelings of being above others and not needing to conform since they do not need as much in the way of money, jobs, etc from society. I read somewhere that in a study of college students, wealthier students were not as friendly as those whose families had less money. I believe they concluded that it was because the latter bunch needed to strive harder for social acceptance so that they could get jobs, marry and have children (ie, survive, create some financial security and pass on their genes to offspring). I think that is also why immigrant children strive harder in school. And oftentimes successive generations are less competitive and waste away the money and opportunities their immigrant parents worked so hard for. |
Anonymous
|
I suppose some of the prior posts could be part of the problem (busy parents, feelings of entitlement, etc), but I suspect there are problem children in every school and from every socioeconomic group. Considering how many years kids are in school, it is very likely that each of us will encounter inappropriate behaviors now and again along the way.
The important thing is how the school handles them and how the classroom is managed to avoid such incidents to begin with ... a balance of nurturing warmth and teaching respect and discipline. I understand OP's feeling of discouragement, as I too had hoped that the admission's process would weed out distracting and unpleasant behaviors. But really, that is not reaslistic. Children are by definition immature and thus will occassionally behave in less than optimal ways. |
Anonymous
|
9:22 again. To complete my response:
Regarding the level of "brainpower" in a school, I think that the early years (PK through 2) are often viewed as the foundational years, where all students are taught the basics of good social skills, reading, arithmetic, writing, and so forth. By the end of 2nd grade, all the kids are to have mastered the basics and "how to learn" and be ready and prepared to start doing much more advanced learning that includes the critical thinking, analysis, and faster pace that we generally expect from excellent schools. |
Anonymous
|
We are at Norwood and don't feel this way at all. Sure there is variation among the student body (thank God). It really would be strange to go to school where everyone was the same. Some are working on some social issues, some need some help with math, etc. But that is life. In general, we are extremely pleased with the mix of kids. Good families, smart kids, who have a myriad of interests, and just fantastic teachers.
I think you have to think about the fact that your child is learning something by there being kids who may have some areas they are working on. I would imagine your child has some areas they are working on. There are lessons here. If there are major discipline issues, than that is another story, but the kid that acts out here or there is normal. Don't put your kids in too much of a bubble or they will freak out when they encounter the "real world" |
Anonymous
|
Would you read the first post differently if it said one kid scratched another on the face, a 4 year old ripped up the paper another kid was drawing on, and one kicked the teacher.
Destroying works of art, ripping up someone's face with your nails, kicking people in the stomach are all really nasty acts on the part of adults. But scratching, kicking, and ruining something someone else was working on are all pretty mundane events among preschoolers. Doesn't mean they should be tolerated (that transition from mundane to nasty happens in part because these are behaviors we try to shut down early), but just that a preK or K classroom that has witnessed all the behaviors somewhat sensationally described over the course of the first two months of school isn't necessarily a den of budding sociopaths who have been raised by wolves (and/or nannies!) |
Anonymous
|
I'm the PP who used the unfortunate word 'brainpower' earlier. I wish I hadn't and I feel bad about even thinking that way about young children.
I took to heart what 9:22 said, about these being the foundational years. This is comforting and makes a lot of sense to give every kid a great start. I HAVE to keep that in mind, because .... I still can't help that I'm a little bummed, to use OPs word, when I engage with all the kids in DC's class (I'm with them not infrequently) and it is evident that several of them are just not quick. I am sure they are lovely children who will grow up to do fine things and may currently have mad soccer, joke-telling, drawing or ballet skills. But. Their significant number as a percentage of the classroom means in practice that the whole class moves much more slowly than I would expect at a Big ___ for $$ a year. Given the difficult odds of getting in, and the numbers of children turned away, this surprises me. |
Anonymous
| 10:31 Whoa! You feel bad about thinking about children that way, but proceed to describe your child's classmate as just not quick. How do you know how they are on paper or how they test? Maybe you should transfer to another school. I would hate to have a parent judging my child's class like you do. Also, most of the world is not quick. Kids need to deal with all sorts of learning styles and intellectual frequencies to succeed in the world. My child is quick, so I'm writing this from that perspective. |
Anonymous
I'm not in your situation (yet), but I think I'd be really frustrated if I was. In other words, if you decided to shell out $25K+ a year to send your DC to private school because you were worried that s/he wouldn't be challenged enough in public school (which, of course, would be free), and then you're finding that your child still isn't challenged enough, I'd be pretty bummed too. Honestly, though, this doesn't surprise me that much given all the talk about schools caring about more than test scores and the large number of 99% kids who are rejected from private so end up at public school. This is why I'm seriously considering public school (at least for K) for my DC. |
Anonymous
Does your school have any options for differentiation or ability grouping? This has been a wonderful aspect about our school. |
Anonymous
| 9:22 again. I suspect that the teachers and administrators at these schools have a good idea over the first few years what the level of ability is amongst their students. You need to trust them to work with all level of kids to bring out their best and also to identify which ones may not be able to succeed in upcoming years. Generally, schools work very hard to help all kids succeed, but some children are inevitably "counseled out" for their own benefit as well as the remaining cohort. They do NOT dumb down their programs ... not to worry. |
Anonymous
| 9:26 The how to learn continues through Middle School. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I absolutely agree with you, 13:02. I apologize if I implied that "learning to learn" is fully completed at the end of 2nd grade! |