Introvert spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, Thanks for your replies. He is not studying for school, just for his own interest. He was introverted also when I married him but I would say even more now that is getting older. What makes me uncomfortable during social gatherings is gossiping (some people never actually met my dh so there is a guessing game going on) and also the awkward feeling to be the only married spouse there alone. I will try to tell him that sometimes it is very important for me that we share some social events together.

Sorry, why do you want to be fri nds with people who are gossips?

I’m kind of with your DH - I’d rather spend time learning about astrophysics that spending time with fake people and gossips.

And “trying” to tell him something is washing out. It’s either important to you, or it’s not. Hai reaction is moot. If this is important to you, you will find a way.m

Yes we had a couple we did things with. Noticed they talked badly about their other couple friends. Soon we realized they were doing the exact same thing to us. Didn't have to dump them as she ended up dying. Why does pp think her dh has to share some social events? Yes maybe a family wedding, but people who engage in a guessing game about her dh aren't worth a poop. OP needs a reality check. Her OP sounds much more mature, something she needs to appreciate.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think it would be enjoyable for him, as an introvert, if it's not even enjoyable for you when you go alone?

[Anonymous]

Find your balance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think it would be enjoyable for him, as an introvert, if it's not even enjoyable for you when you go alone?

Don’t be a jerk.
I am an introvert, and I can understand that sometimes you just want your spouse there with you. That’s part of the point, to be with people you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote a similar post a few years ago and got eviscerated. DH was always an introvert but enjoyed social activities and parties when we were dating and first got married. Fast forward fifteen years and he has a much more demanding job and wants his evenings and weekends to decompress since the effort of being outgoing and engaging all week is draining for him. I totally get that but it does impact us as a family.

Other couples and families like to do things as, you guessed it, couples or families. How many times will people invite us to get together when it's only me and my kids who show. Sooner or later the other husband is going to get tired of feeling like a third wheel without my spouse there. Or the other couples are gracious but take it personally that DH doesn't want to spend time with them or with his own family. We don't have family in the area, so having a circle of friends is important to me, and I think it's important for our kids.

It's hard, OP. I feel for you and wish I had answers.

OP here. Thank for this. You got it exactly right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think it would be enjoyable for him, as an introvert, if it's not even enjoyable for you when you go alone?

That's a good point. She's going to functions with couples/families so it's not important that he shows. She said 3rd wheel but not the case from her post since it's more than one couple. OP should find women friends for outside entertainment. I understand there are occasions where both should attend, but forcing him isn't right either.

[Anonymous]

As the introvert in our marriage I try to enjoy the social activities my husband craves and needs. I realize that he didn't get married to sit at home all the time and that having his wife at his side is important (otherwise what's the point of being married). But I ask that sometimes he consider my needs also. Marriage is a give and take situation always and this area is no exception. I have heard it said that each person needs to give 60%. But most of all each person needs to share, listen and be willing to compromise when needed.

It sounds like this marriage has a lot going for it and is just going thru the growing together and working-things-out-phase. This means you talk to each other and listen and then find a way that will work. I am praying for you to both have ears to hear and a heart to understand and be willing to go the extra mile for each other. Blessings to you.

[Anonymous]

I find meeting people for the sake of meeting quite off-putting. Unless you already know them on some level, why bother? Do you think you're going to meet some couple kindred spirit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two words: blow job

Yes, I also find that the offer of a public bj in social settings is the best way to get an introvert to come out of his shell. Excellent suggestion.