I feel like I’m sucking at this parenting thing

[Anonymous]

My 13 yo was looking for clean clothes and I said they were in the dryer. He checked the washer and came back saying it was empty. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE DRYER WAS. Obviously, I've missed some life lessons. (Guess who will be doing the laundry this week?)

[Anonymous]

If you have longtime friends, or cousins close to your own age - any peers you know well enough that you know their parents and what their family life was like from the inside - you will probably see that close to perfect parenting doesn’t always lead to close to perfect outcomes. I have childhood friends who are genuinely happy and successful despite dysfunction, and ones who have had constant struggle and strife in adulthood despite having great parents (and siblings who are just fine).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have longtime friends, or cousins close to your own age - any peers you know well enough that you know their parents and what their family life was like from the inside - you will probably see that close to perfect parenting doesn’t always lead to close to perfect outcomes. I have childhood friends who are genuinely happy and successful despite dysfunction, and ones who have had constant struggle and strife in adulthood despite having great parents (and siblings who are just fine).

Good reminder

[Anonymous]

Just love them and enjoy them and support them. It's not your job to be the teacher, though schools and teachers are very good at guilting parents who don't do this. Mine were terrible students until college but big readers, same as me. They both turned out great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too. My child is depressed and anxious and just had to go to a psychiatric hospital. It's hard not to feel like we did something wrong.

I'm sorry! just so you don't feel alone, I have 2 anxious/depressed kids and one keeps talking about suicide. It has been a rough couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are tweens - not quite teens - so this all may fall apart but I've found that establishing habits is key. It can be painful in the beginning and I will get push back but then after a while, the kids think it's just always been that way.

For example, homework has always been done as soon as they get home and screens come after. I need to do the same thing with any other activity -- piano practice, cleaning out lunchboxes, etc.

I will write a list and put in on the fridge of the "habits" we need to strengthen. E.g. -- Get home, homework, piano, lunches, (then) screens. Then I don't feel like I'm nagging, I just point to the list.

Hope that helps a bit. And I'm sure you're doing great. Just other other day, I said something like, I'm a crummy mom when I forgot to do something. My son stopped me and said, "Mom, don't say that! You always tell me not to talk down about myself so you shouldn't either. You're doing great!"

The teen years are way different, so buckle your seat belt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are tweens - not quite teens - so this all may fall apart but I've found that establishing habits is key. It can be painful in the beginning and I will get push back but then after a while, the kids think it's just always been that way.

For example, homework has always been done as soon as they get home and screens come after. I need to do the same thing with any other activity -- piano practice, cleaning out lunchboxes, etc.

I will write a list and put in on the fridge of the "habits" we need to strengthen. E.g. -- Get home, homework, piano, lunches, (then) screens. Then I don't feel like I'm nagging, I just point to the list.

Hope that helps a bit. And I'm sure you're doing great. Just other other day, I said something like, I'm a crummy mom when I forgot to do something. My son stopped me and said, "Mom, don't say that! You always tell me not to talk down about myself so you shouldn't either. You're doing great!"

The teen years are way different, so buckle your seat belt.

Yeah that works when they’re younger not later