October 6 Bday and starting Kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add. There is a cut off date for a reason. Just because your child may be acedemically ready, doesn’t mean she is socially (and not just now, in future years) keep them little while you can!

And in MoCo at least there is also a test in mechanism for a reason: some kids are ready and if op's kid were accepted through the normal channels, so be it.

+1

Mid-September baby here who started "early" -- I was perfectly fine, still advanced academically throughout school (and I shudder thinking about what it would've been like not being allowed to start early) and socially had no problems. Some kids are ready. Some aren't. Blanket statements are unhelpful.

+2. I had a pretty similar experience, also an early Oct. baby who started K at 4 (although school system had a Dec. cutoff).

[Anonymous]

My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

Interesting because some districts in NY still have the December 31st cutoff, so typically their students are younger (and close-in NJ has October 1st or 31st cut-off, so still younger than this area).

[Anonymous]

OP you should search for the old threads. There is one pretty much every year, and they always go the same way. This one will soon be 8 pages of people telling you you're crazy. My daughter started K at 4. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

In this area, it's very difficult. Maryland requires a test, and very few kids qualify to start early. I don't know anyone in DC or VA who started their kid early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

Interesting because some districts in NY still have the December 31st cutoff, so typically their students are younger (and close-in NJ has October 1st or 31st cut-off, so still younger than this area).

Her niece is probably in private. Most in NY use a 9/1 cut-off with rampant redshirting. The kids in private are often a full year or more older than kids in public.

I am in NY and my DD also has an August birthday. She's late middle-of the-pack for birthdays in her school. For OP, I would vote for not sending her early. It's tough being the youngest in any group because teachers and kids gear their expectations to the average. If you are the youngest, you can be acting perfectly normally for your age, but that may not please your teacher and can alienate you from your classmates. The differences can also seem starker when kids start hitting puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add. There is a cut off date for a reason. Just because your child may be acedemically ready, doesn’t mean she is socially (and not just now, in future years) keep them little while you can!

And in MoCo at least there is also a test in mechanism for a reason: some kids are ready and if op's kid were accepted through the normal channels, so be it.

+1

Mid-September baby here who started "early" -- I was perfectly fine, still advanced academically throughout school (and I shudder thinking about what it would've been like not being allowed to start early) and socially had no problems. Some kids are ready. Some aren't. Blanket statements are unhelpful.

+2. I had a pretty similar experience, also an early Oct. baby who started K at 4 (although school system had a Dec. cutoff).

Plus, I'm guessing that OP doesn't want to pay an extra 20K for daycare when her kid is so close to the cutoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

Interesting because some districts in NY still have the December 31st cutoff, so typically their students are younger (and close-in NJ has October 1st or 31st cut-off, so still younger than this area).

Her niece is probably in private. Most in NY use a 9/1 cut-off with rampant redshirting. The kids in private are often a full year or more older than kids in public.

I am in NY and my DD also has an August birthday. She's late middle-of the-pack for birthdays in her school. For OP, I would vote for not sending her early. It's tough being the youngest in any group because teachers and kids gear their expectations to the average. If you are the youngest, you can be acting perfectly normally for your age, but that may not please your teacher and can alienate you from your classmates. The differences can also seem starker when kids start hitting puberty.

In NYC it is a 12/31 cutoff. For public school. My friend's daughter has an early Nov birthday and started K last year at 4 years old in Manhattan at a public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add. There is a cut off date for a reason. Just because your child may be acedemically ready, doesn’t mean she is socially (and not just now, in future years) keep them little while you can!

And in MoCo at least there is also a test in mechanism for a reason: some kids are ready and if op's kid were accepted through the normal channels, so be it.

+1

Mid-September baby here who started "early" -- I was perfectly fine, still advanced academically throughout school (and I shudder thinking about what it would've been like not being allowed to start early) and socially had no problems. Some kids are ready. Some aren't. Blanket statements are unhelpful.

+2. I had a pretty similar experience, also an early Oct. baby who started K at 4 (although school system had a Dec. cutoff).

Plus, I'm guessing that OP doesn't want to pay an extra 20K for daycare when her kid is so close to the cutoff.

This argument comes up on every one of these threads. I'm someone who sent my October birthday child early. I paid for private, so there was no monetary savings, and I did not expect there to be any. Believe it or not, people make these decisions, or try to, in the best interests of their children, not to save money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

Interesting because some districts in NY still have the December 31st cutoff, so typically their students are younger (and close-in NJ has October 1st or 31st cut-off, so still younger than this area).

Her niece is probably in private. Most in NY use a 9/1 cut-off with rampant redshirting. The kids in private are often a full year or more older than kids in public.

I am in NY and my DD also has an August birthday. She's late middle-of the-pack for birthdays in her school. For OP, I would vote for not sending her early. It's tough being the youngest in any group because teachers and kids gear their expectations to the average. If you are the youngest, you can be acting perfectly normally for your age, but that may not please your teacher and can alienate you from your classmates. The differences can also seem starker when kids start hitting puberty.

I turned 5 during fall of kindergarten. I also started hitting puberty in 3rd grade. I think it would have been potentially more awkward if I was held back and started puberty in 2nd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add. There is a cut off date for a reason. Just because your child may be acedemically ready, doesn’t mean she is socially (and not just now, in future years) keep them little while you can!

And in MoCo at least there is also a test in mechanism for a reason: some kids are ready and if op's kid were accepted through the normal channels, so be it.

+1

Mid-September baby here who started "early" -- I was perfectly fine, still advanced academically throughout school (and I shudder thinking about what it would've been like not being allowed to start early) and socially had no problems. Some kids are ready. Some aren't. Blanket statements are unhelpful.

+2. I had a pretty similar experience, also an early Oct. baby who started K at 4 (although school system had a Dec. cutoff).

Plus, I'm guessing that OP doesn't want to pay an extra 20K for daycare when her kid is so close to the cutoff.

I have a friend who insisted her DD be able to start early since they were moving from an area with a December cutoff. Her DD has an early October birthday. K went fine, but she started struggling in 1st grade and is really struggling in 2nd. She’s since been diagnosed with anxiety and it’s gotten harder for her socially in 2nd grade. My friend was sure her DD was ready to start and didn’t want to pay for another year of Pre-K. Now she wishes she had waited. You have to remember it’s not a decision that’s made just for K. It’s a domino effect. It works for some kids but really doesn’t for others and 4 is usually too early to tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add. There is a cut off date for a reason. Just because your child may be acedemically ready, doesn’t mean she is socially (and not just now, in future years) keep them little while you can!

And in MoCo at least there is also a test in mechanism for a reason: some kids are ready and if op's kid were accepted through the normal channels, so be it.

+1

Mid-September baby here who started "early" -- I was perfectly fine, still advanced academically throughout school (and I shudder thinking about what it would've been like not being allowed to start early) and socially had no problems. Some kids are ready. Some aren't. Blanket statements are unhelpful.

+2. I had a pretty similar experience, also an early Oct. baby who started K at 4 (although school system had a Dec. cutoff).

Plus, I'm guessing that OP doesn't want to pay an extra 20K for daycare when her kid is so close to the cutoff.

This argument comes up on every one of these threads. I'm someone who sent my October birthday child early. I paid for private, so there was no monetary savings, and I did not expect there to be any. Believe it or not, people make these decisions, or try to, in the best interests of their children, not to save money.

And for plenty of people, the opportunity to save on a year of childcare makes a substantial impact on their finances. I say this without judgement, but knowing that my own parents encouraged my skipping a grade because it was one year sooner that I would be out in the working world.

[Anonymous]

You know your own kid, OP. And you don't need to decide immediately. Check the rules in the area where you live.

My son was born a week before a September 30 cutoff and we sent him on time (i.e., when he was 4 years and 11 months old). He's 17 now and I've never had any regrets. Actually, I think it would be insufferable having a HS senior who is 18 for pretty much the whole school year. (I've known 18 year olds who pull the "I'm an adult, I can do what I want" and parenting a "teen adult" through high school is much more challenging than parenting a slightly young K student).

If you daughter goes at 4, assuming a September 30 cutoff, there will be some kids who are only a week or two older than she is. Not everyone redshirts. Our experience has been that it's about 50-50 for September birthdays.

[Anonymous]

My son was born a week before a September 30 cutoff and we sent him on time (i.e., when he was 4 years and 11 months old). He's 17 now and I've never had any regrets. Actually, I think it would be insufferable having a HS senior who is 18 for pretty much the whole school year. (I've known 18 year olds who pull the "I'm an adult, I can do what I want" and parenting a "teen adult" through high school is much more challenging than parenting a slightly young K student).

What an odd thing to say. I have a November birthday and was 18 during most of my senior year - as were many of my friends because our cutoff was 9/1. I have never heard of this problem.

To the OP - I'd err on the side of not sending her. If she's really advanced, perhaps she can move up in later years. Check with your school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD started started K at 4. Her Bday is at the end of August, this decision will follow you for years to come. She started 4th grade 8yo, and I have a niece in NY that started 4th grade at 10yo who has the advantage? Not my daughter. Now we did not make a choice she is where she is supposed to be, but we wrestle with holding her back every year, we should have done it in K, we should have done it in 1st, now in 4th she would be devastated. She can do the work just fine but sometimes when she acts her age, she can be ostracized. I wish we started her later and I bet her current teacher does as well.

So agree with this. DD had a 12/1 birthday when cutoff was 12/31. Wished we figured a way to hold her back without damaging her self esteem. She always had problems socially, as PP noted, she acts her age. A lot of her friends where 18 months older than her or at least a year older (within the month of the cutoff, a lot of hold backs).
I also have another December birthday child, who did better, but was always behind socially because of lack of maturity.
But, having been there, I recommend against it.