STBXW has moved out and has her AP visiting with our kids

[Anonymous]

Some women are just so nasty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Talk to your lawyer.

2. Have you had a background check run on the AP?

3. Make sure the children understand it was mommy who broke up the marriage, not the AP.

Generally, there isn't much you can do other than being a good parent when the children are with you.

OP here. I addressed it with the attorney and the background check with the PI is being addressed. Nothing can be done legally unless a compliant is filed. It will be a learning process for dealing with the STBXW. Kids functions will be interesting if she brings him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Talk to your lawyer.

2. Have you had a background check run on the AP?

3. Make sure the children understand it was mommy who broke up the marriage, not the AP.

Generally, there isn't much you can do other than being a good parent when the children are with you.

OP here. I addressed it with the attorney and the background check with the PI is being addressed. Nothing can be done legally unless a compliant is filed. It will be a learning process for dealing with the STBXW. Kids functions will be interesting if she brings him.

You must know something about this guy. Is he an upper middle class professional (presumably like you and your STBX)? If so, why are you wasting money on PIs and background checks? Yeah you resent him but you have to move on. Court is not going to do anything unless he is a violent thug with a criminal history, and maybe not even then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If your kids are in danger they should call 911.

Stupidest Advice Ever.

Why?

What will happen:
Cops show up
Cops see the kids are with their mom and some guy
Mom tells cops nothing is happening
Cops see kids are unharmed, and go away
Mom yells at kids for calling cops
Kids are now afraid to call cops again

[Anonymous]

14 year old should start advocating for himself. If he doesn't like AP he should start threatening his mother. In less than 4 years he will be out of the whore's life. That is what he should tell his mom everytime she walks into the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Talk to your lawyer.

2. Have you had a background check run on the AP?

3. Make sure the children understand it was mommy who broke up the marriage, not the AP.

Generally, there isn't much you can do other than being a good parent when the children are with you.

OP here. I addressed it with the attorney and the background check with the PI is being addressed. Nothing can be done legally unless a compliant is filed. It will be a learning process for dealing with the STBXW. Kids functions will be interesting if she brings him.

You must know something about this guy. Is he an upper middle class professional (presumably like you and your STBX)? If so, why are you wasting money on PIs and background checks? Yeah you resent him but you have to move on. Court is not going to do anything unless he is a violent thug with a criminal history, and maybe not even then.

This. You literally have no control over this.

I suspect your kids are manufacturing the “scared” storyline out of loyalty to you.

I know it’s rotten and unfair, but if this guy is going to be in your kids’ lives, I would try to make it ok for your kids to like him and be friendly with him. It sucks for you. But I guarantee it sucks more for them. It will make their lives easier if you can be friendly/positive about this person, as unpalatable as that must feel to you.

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous. The truth is you cannot control anything going on there.