7 month old just wants to be picked up

[Anonymous]

Hello 9:29/9:46, I know you post on these boards frequently. Can you give us a chance to get to know you better? How many children do you have, and what are their ages? How did you come to be so deeply involved in the AP movement? I just think the context might help humanize you a bit. I must say I don't always agree with how you go about making your points but I'd like to understand where you're coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:31 pound 9-month old??????????????????????????? Holy cow!!!

Unbelievable!! You must have protein shake breastmilk. My sincere condolences to your back.

[Anonymous]

I'm still laughing about the 31 pound 9-month old. I can't even picture that. My just barely 9-month old baby is 19 pounds and very healthy looking. At 31 pounds, he would look like a 4 year old

I only mean all this in the best way! I wish I could see a picture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:31 pound 9-month old??????????????????????????? Holy cow!!!

Unbelievable!! You must have protein shake breastmilk. My sincere condolences to your back.

Willing to bet that this baby is not breastfed. My 3 yo still has not broken the 30 pound mark.

[Anonymous]

Ap mama here, and i'd glady explain where i'm coming from, as it's totally influenced my strong opinions, and please take them for what they are, my opinons!!!! i have a professional background in pediatric mental health (grief counseling, foster care/adoption, psych units), i spent 12 years working with children and families in crisis, and hence lots of my opinions draw from my training (masters), cases i saw, and peer consultations, but mostly, they are confirmed by my life as a now SAHM to my 3yo son, (im expecting #2 as well)...i also had an undergrand degree in sociology so i've loved studying cultural norms, ethnopediatrics and how others acheive or dont achieve mental health and stability around the globe!
in my experience and that of many of my colleagues... most of the clients having mental health, family dynamic or personality disorder issues have clear roots of dysfunction, loss, abandonment and a host of other hurts in their family of origin..no matter where you stand in the field of western psychology, everyone agrees that how you are parented and nurtured matters...i have seen first hand the effect of children having emotional and behavioral problems when their parents are depressed, stressed, unhealthy, angry, etc...hence my clear belief that it is the parents responsibility to take good care of their own mental health first, and be acutely aware of how their feelings, assumptions, moods, energy etc effects their children. for me, Attachment Parenting in its truest form is the healthiest for mother and child...i could go on for ever (and hope to some day by writing a book, articles, etc) about how and why this is, but suffice to say that most of my professional colleagues agree with me, that attending to an infant and young childs need (esp in the 0-3yo stage) is vital for optimal mental health...society makes this incredibly challenging for most modern woman to do, and something always has to give...AP just believes that it shouldnt be the child's sense of security that has to give due to modern constraints (work, busy schedules, craving independence, sleep, etc) on the part of the parents....
i've done lots of reading and reviewing on many AP topics, and i've also experienced a profound personal and spiritual joy by practicing AP with my son...and always feel the need to share my opinions, articles etc with others who may not be familiar with AP as it's clearly not the norm (esp in DC) and it's not that commonly discussed in mainstream media...if it werent for my background and a wonderful AP community of friends i've found, i would have struggled with the choices i made as a new mom that felt right in my heart but werent in keeping with the "experts" that dominate the barnes and noble bookshelves! or i can just call my friends in northern cal that live in an AP utopia!!
so yes, i definitely post a lot on the CIO, my child is too clingy type threads b/c i fundamentally believe that infancy and young toddlerhood is infact a time when the child is supposed to be dependent on it's caregiver, until it reaches a natural stage of separation and individuation..i think we as parents have to question our intentions more when making parenting choices...and i believe if more woman would surrender to the joy of following their infants rythms and needs, they would have a very joyful mothering experience and happy children!!
but in the end, what i now believe more than anything is that parenting is a humbling experience, and we all need to do what feels right in our hearts and in our heads...and if our intentions are good and we provide a happy and healthy home environment for our kids, than chances are our children will thrive and flourish...as much as i would love to say AP is the answer to everything-it's clearly NOT, as none of us know what types of joys, sorrows, challenges and blessings our children will face..we have to arm them for their future as we see fit...and for me, that begins with snuggling a baby that is crying to be held!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:31 pound 9-month old??????????????????????????? Holy cow!!!

Unbelievable!! You must have protein shake breastmilk. My sincere condolences to your back.

Willing to bet that this baby is not breastfed. My 3 yo still has not broken the 30 pound mark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ap mama here, and i'd glady explain where i'm coming from, as it's totally influenced my strong opinions, and please take them for what they are, my opinons!!!! i have a professional background in pediatric mental health (grief counseling, foster care/adoption, psych units), i spent 12 years working with children and families in crisis, and hence lots of my opinions draw from my training (masters), cases i saw, and peer consultations, but mostly, they are confirmed by my life as a now SAHM to my 3yo son, (im expecting #2 as well)...i also had an undergrand degree in sociology so i've loved studying cultural norms, ethnopediatrics and how others acheive or dont achieve mental health and stability around the globe!
in my experience and that of many of my colleagues... most of the clients having mental health, family dynamic or personality disorder issues have clear roots of dysfunction, loss, abandonment and a host of other hurts in their family of origin..no matter where you stand in the field of western psychology, everyone agrees that how you are parented and nurtured matters...i have seen first hand the effect of children having emotional and behavioral problems when their parents are depressed, stressed, unhealthy, angry, etc...hence my clear belief that it is the parents responsibility to take good care of their own mental health first, and be acutely aware of how their feelings, assumptions, moods, energy etc effects their children. for me, Attachment Parenting in its truest form is the healthiest for mother and child...i could go on for ever (and hope to some day by writing a book, articles, etc) about how and why this is, but suffice to say that most of my professional colleagues agree with me, that attending to an infant and young childs need (esp in the 0-3yo stage) is vital for optimal mental health...society makes this incredibly challenging for most modern woman to do, and something always has to give...AP just believes that it shouldnt be the child's sense of security that has to give due to modern constraints (work, busy schedules, craving independence, sleep, etc) on the part of the parents....
i've done lots of reading and reviewing on many AP topics, and i've also experienced a profound personal and spiritual joy by practicing AP with my son...and always feel the need to share my opinions, articles etc with others who may not be familiar with AP as it's clearly not the norm (esp in DC) and it's not that commonly discussed in mainstream media...if it werent for my background and a wonderful AP community of friends i've found, i would have struggled with the choices i made as a new mom that felt right in my heart but werent in keeping with the "experts" that dominate the barnes and noble bookshelves! or i can just call my friends in northern cal that live in an AP utopia!!
so yes, i definitely post a lot on the CIO, my child is too clingy type threads b/c i fundamentally believe that infancy and young toddlerhood is infact a time when the child is supposed to be dependent on it's caregiver, until it reaches a natural stage of separation and individuation..i think we as parents have to question our intentions more when making parenting choices...and i believe if more woman would surrender to the joy of following their infants rythms and needs, they would have a very joyful mothering experience and happy children!!
but in the end, what i now believe more than anything is that parenting is a humbling experience, and we all need to do what feels right in our hearts and in our heads...and if our intentions are good and we provide a happy and healthy home environment for our kids, than chances are our children will thrive and flourish...as much as i would love to say AP is the answer to everything-it's clearly NOT, as none of us know what types of joys, sorrows, challenges and blessings our children will face..we have to arm them for their future as we see fit...and for me, that begins with snuggling a baby that is crying to be held!

I think you rock. Thanks for this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:31 pound 9-month old??????????????????????????? Holy cow!!!

Unbelievable!! You must have protein shake breastmilk. My sincere condolences to your back.

Willing to bet that this baby is not breastfed. My 3 yo still has not broken the 30 pound mark.

No need to roll your eyes, the PP before me made an assumption that the child was breastfed and I was simply pointing out that it was unlikely.

[Anonymous]

No. If you want to be snarky, go for it - but don't try and pretend it had any other foundation. One might also assume that your child most likely isn't getting enough of whatever he/she is being fed as a 3 year old who is under 30 lbs is on the very low side of normal. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 31 pound, 6 ounce almost 9 month old who ONLY WANTS TO BE HELD or wants to climb all over me. I love cuddling and hugging him but my back doesn't.

DS was breastfed for 4 months, drinks formula from Costco now but also eats everything and anything. He does not over eat or eat unhealthy foods. He has 8 teeth, maybe a 9th on its way in. Dad was 35 pounds at 1 year old so the doctor thinks the weight is ok but I actually asked if we could check his thyroid, etc., at our 9 month check up. I am buying size 24 months and actually just had to buy a size 2T swim trunks to fit his belly for swim class!

I don't have any online pics but this is an idea of how big DS is. I think this picture is actually a month old so he is bigger now. I think it's a picture from 8 months and we will be 9 months next week.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=60378622

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If you want to be snarky, go for it - but don't try and pretend it had any other foundation. One might also assume that your child most likely isn't getting enough of whatever he/she is being fed as a 3 year old who is under 30 lbs is on the very low side of normal. Just sayin.

Listen, if you are going to make factual arguments, try to get your facts straight. 30 pounds for a 33 month old is actually a over the 50 percentile mark, this is average not "low side of normal" - whatever the hell that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. If you want to be snarky, go for it - but don't try and pretend it had any other foundation. One might also assume that your child most likely isn't getting enough of whatever he/she is being fed as a 3 year old who is under 30 lbs is on the very low side of normal. Just sayin.

Listen, if you are going to make factual arguments, try to get your facts straight. 30 pounds for a 33 month old is actually a over the 50 percentile mark, this is average not "low side of normal" - whatever the hell that means.

People can't read your mind (a good thing as it sounds a little scary in there). You said 3 and under 30 lbs. 36 months at 29 lbs is indeed between the 10th and 25th percentile if you want specifics.

[Anonymous]

jsteele, how would you feel about cleaning this thread up? There's some good stuff here, and a lot of the stuff that gives online fora a bad name.

[Anonymous]

I love it! CUTE baby!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ap mama here, and i'd glady explain where i'm coming from, as it's totally influenced my strong opinions, and please take them for what they are, my opinons!!!! i have a professional background in pediatric mental health (grief counseling, foster care/adoption, psych units), i spent 12 years working with children and families in crisis, and hence lots of my opinions draw from my training (masters), cases i saw, and peer consultations, but mostly, they are confirmed by my life as a now SAHM to my 3yo son, (im expecting #2 as well)...i also had an undergrand degree in sociology so i've loved studying cultural norms, ethnopediatrics and how others acheive or dont achieve mental health and stability around the globe!
in my experience and that of many of my colleagues... most of the clients having mental health, family dynamic or personality disorder issues have clear roots of dysfunction, loss, abandonment and a host of other hurts in their family of origin..no matter where you stand in the field of western psychology, everyone agrees that how you are parented and nurtured matters...i have seen first hand the effect of children having emotional and behavioral problems when their parents are depressed, stressed, unhealthy, angry, etc...hence my clear belief that it is the parents responsibility to take good care of their own mental health first, and be acutely aware of how their feelings, assumptions, moods, energy etc effects their children. for me, Attachment Parenting in its truest form is the healthiest for mother and child...i could go on for ever (and hope to some day by writing a book, articles, etc) about how and why this is, but suffice to say that most of my professional colleagues agree with me, that attending to an infant and young childs need (esp in the 0-3yo stage) is vital for optimal mental health...society makes this incredibly challenging for most modern woman to do, and something always has to give...AP just believes that it shouldnt be the child's sense of security that has to give due to modern constraints (work, busy schedules, craving independence, sleep, etc) on the part of the parents....
i've done lots of reading and reviewing on many AP topics, and i've also experienced a profound personal and spiritual joy by practicing AP with my son...and always feel the need to share my opinions, articles etc with others who may not be familiar with AP as it's clearly not the norm (esp in DC) and it's not that commonly discussed in mainstream media...if it werent for my background and a wonderful AP community of friends i've found, i would have struggled with the choices i made as a new mom that felt right in my heart but werent in keeping with the "experts" that dominate the barnes and noble bookshelves! or i can just call my friends in northern cal that live in an AP utopia!!
so yes, i definitely post a lot on the CIO, my child is too clingy type threads b/c i fundamentally believe that infancy and young toddlerhood is infact a time when the child is supposed to be dependent on it's caregiver, until it reaches a natural stage of separation and individuation..i think we as parents have to question our intentions more when making parenting choices...and i believe if more woman would surrender to the joy of following their infants rythms and needs, they would have a very joyful mothering experience and happy children!!
but in the end, what i now believe more than anything is that parenting is a humbling experience, and we all need to do what feels right in our hearts and in our heads...and if our intentions are good and we provide a happy and healthy home environment for our kids, than chances are our children will thrive and flourish...as much as i would love to say AP is the answer to everything-it's clearly NOT, as none of us know what types of joys, sorrows, challenges and blessings our children will face..we have to arm them for their future as we see fit...and for me, that begins with snuggling a baby that is crying to be held!

I think you rock. Thanks for this post.

I would also probably think you rock, but I find these long posts so hard to read when they lack sufficient punctuation and they're in all lower caps. Just my 2 cents.