Dating someone who is bird nesting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If sex in the swap house is off limits, so is mine since I have a kid. Renting hotels would be expensive. I guess that most of these couples dont go after serious relationships?

So you date with your kid around? Or you get babysitting at your house? Are you never child free?

The point is, if his house is off limits, so is mine.

I don't get this response. If his house is off limits, it's likely because he and his ex decided that was the most respectful way to treat their shared space during in this transition in order to reduce conflict and be positive coparents. In my mind that points to him being a good guy who has self control.

That said, I nested, and I'm so thankful to all the men and women who turned me down when I hit on them. I was a hot mess and really needed some time to get my head together before I started dating. I am so thankful to all the friends who were there for me but didn't take it in a romantic or sexual direction.

In my case, we had a shared house where our child stayed full time. We each had separate bedrooms. We also had a shared apt, but I was really the only person who used it.

Why dont you get it? If he wants to spare his children the realities of their parents dating, then why wouldn't I want to do the same with my children.

The fact that you don't get it points to your selfishness and lack of respect for someone else's household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If sex in the swap house is off limits, so is mine since I have a kid. Renting hotels would be expensive. I guess that most of these couples dont go after serious relationships?

So you date with your kid around? Or you get babysitting at your house? Are you never child free?

The point is, if his house is off limits, so is mine.

I don't get this response. If his house is off limits, it's likely because he and his ex decided that was the most respectful way to treat their shared space during in this transition in order to reduce conflict and be positive coparents. In my mind that points to him being a good guy who has self control.

That said, I nested, and I'm so thankful to all the men and women who turned me down when I hit on them. I was a hot mess and really needed some time to get my head together before I started dating. I am so thankful to all the friends who were there for me but didn't take it in a romantic or sexual direction.

In my case, we had a shared house where our child stayed full time. We each had separate bedrooms. We also had a shared apt, but I was really the only person who used it.

Why dont you get it? If he wants to spare his children the realities of their parents dating, then why wouldn't I want to do the same with my children.

The fact that you don't get it points to your selfishness and lack of respect for someone else's household.

It sounds like you feel stressed out, hope it gets better for you. I do want to provide a serious response to your question. If you have your kids all the time, I get where you are coming from. I observe the 6 month rule, and wouldn't want to introduce my kid earlier just because the person I was seeing couldn't entertain at his house. But, it's not clear from your post that you do have your kids all the time? If your just jealous that he can come to your house (when your kids aren't there), but you can't go to his place (because he still shares it with his ex and there are rules int that situation), that reads a little strange. In any case, it sounds like he is not the guy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If sex in the swap house is off limits, so is mine since I have a kid. Renting hotels would be expensive. I guess that most of these couples dont go after serious relationships?

So you date with your kid around? Or you get babysitting at your house? Are you never child free?

The point is, if his house is off limits, so is mine.

I don't get this response. If his house is off limits, it's likely because he and his ex decided that was the most respectful way to treat their shared space during in this transition in order to reduce conflict and be positive coparents. In my mind that points to him being a good guy who has self control.

That said, I nested, and I'm so thankful to all the men and women who turned me down when I hit on them. I was a hot mess and really needed some time to get my head together before I started dating. I am so thankful to all the friends who were there for me but didn't take it in a romantic or sexual direction.

In my case, we had a shared house where our child stayed full time. We each had separate bedrooms. We also had a shared apt, but I was really the only person who used it.

Why dont you get it? If he wants to spare his children the realities of their parents dating, then why wouldn't I want to do the same with my children.

The fact that you don't get it points to your selfishness and lack of respect for someone else's household.

It sounds like you feel stressed out, hope it gets better for you. I do want to provide a serious response to your question. If you have your kids all the time, I get where you are coming from. I observe the 6 month rule, and wouldn't want to introduce my kid earlier just because the person I was seeing couldn't entertain at his house. But, it's not clear from your post that you do have your kids all the time? If your just jealous that he can come to your house (when your kids aren't there), but you can't go to his place (because he still shares it with his ex and there are rules int that situation), that reads a little strange. In any case, it sounds like he is not the guy for you.

No, it's not strange and not about jealousy. You shouldn't ask someone to do things in their home that you are not willing to do in yours. I do agree, that people will find someone to put up with their situations all the time. For me, he is a fun date, like a friend.

Do you call all opinions that you do not agree with stressed out and strange?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If sex in the swap house is off limits, so is mine since I have a kid. Renting hotels would be expensive. I guess that most of these couples dont go after serious relationships?

So you date with your kid around? Or you get babysitting at your house? Are you never child free?

The point is, if his house is off limits, so is mine.

I don't get this response. If his house is off limits, it's likely because he and his ex decided that was the most respectful way to treat their shared space during in this transition in order to reduce conflict and be positive coparents. In my mind that points to him being a good guy who has self control.

That said, I nested, and I'm so thankful to all the men and women who turned me down when I hit on them. I was a hot mess and really needed some time to get my head together before I started dating. I am so thankful to all the friends who were there for me but didn't take it in a romantic or sexual direction.

In my case, we had a shared house where our child stayed full time. We each had separate bedrooms. We also had a shared apt, but I was really the only person who used it.

Why dont you get it? If he wants to spare his children the realities of their parents dating, then why wouldn't I want to do the same with my children.

The fact that you don't get it points to your selfishness and lack of respect for someone else's household.

It sounds like you feel stressed out, hope it gets better for you. I do want to provide a serious response to your question. If you have your kids all the time, I get where you are coming from. I observe the 6 month rule, and wouldn't want to introduce my kid earlier just because the person I was seeing couldn't entertain at his house. But, it's not clear from your post that you do have your kids all the time? If your just jealous that he can come to your house (when your kids aren't there), but you can't go to his place (because he still shares it with his ex and there are rules int that situation), that reads a little strange. In any case, it sounds like he is not the guy for you.

No, it's not strange and not about jealousy. You shouldn't ask someone to do things in their home that you are not willing to do in yours. I do agree, that people will find someone to put up with their situations all the time. For me, he is a fun date, like a friend.

Do you call all opinions that you do not agree with stressed out and strange?

Do you always bash your “friend’s” life choices while turning them down for nonexistent sex offerings and contemplate your future together? Now THATS strange.

[Anonymous]

I’ve hesrd of some weird stuff before, but this takes the cake.

No way would I get wrapped up in some bull-s like that.

[Anonymous]

My ex-DH and I bird nested for 2 years after divorcing, per our plan. We had one special needs child and our younger was very young, and that time in the family home was very good for them before going to two households.

We each had an apartment. One of us kept the master and we were fortunate to have a guest room, which the other took. So no shared bed or bedding or that kind of thing.

I dated during that time. After many month of dating my now-DH, he sometimes visited the birdnest home.

The bird nesting wasn't easy for us adults but it was great for the kids and worth it. We're many years past that. I have a strong second marriage.