No more: I only make the effort if the kid is a true blue friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if your kid wants to go? That’s pretty sad if he wants to go to Johnny’s birthday and you’ve decided Johnny is t a good enough friend, in your opinion.

'

If Johnny repeatedly does cruel things and backstabs then you are absolutely right, even if my kids want to go then no I will not drive them or buy a present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My introverted 13 year old doesn't have friends.

I'd drive a fair bit if he was invited somewhere.

I'm sorry to hear that and I hope it changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are not going to drive anyone’s child or have them over until they pass some arbitrary length-of-time that you think indicates they are a true blue friend? What is that magic length of time? How can you tell who is a friend to keep? I mean clearly you have judged badly up to know if you have (I mean, you DD has) been burned by them in the past.

And how about of you just decline all parties that don’t fit in your family’s schedule? That’s what normal people do.

If your child spreads runs around saying my child gave another child a blow job, when she doesn't know what a blowjob is then no, I will not be taking my kid to your birthday party or buying a gift. If your child has been consistently kind so far, then yes, we will buy a gift and I will gladly drive to the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are way too invested in your kid's drama. Maybe find a soap opera to watch instead, so she can figure these things out on her own. And you will realize your misguided attempt to be the kingmaker is the symptom of your problem, not hers.

+1

Thank you. Who ARE these mothers who have this kind of time, effort and drama in their lives? Let me know so I can avoid you. OP, please, for the sake of your family, do NOT pass and push this social ineptitude of yours onto your children.

I teach my kids to only value friends who are kind and respectful. I am unclear as to how that is social ineptitude. If your child is cruel, then please do avoid us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are not going to drive anyone’s child or have them over until they pass some arbitrary length-of-time that you think indicates they are a true blue friend? What is that magic length of time? How can you tell who is a friend to keep? I mean clearly you have judged badly up to know if you have (I mean, you DD has) been burned by them in the past.

And how about of you just decline all parties that don’t fit in your family’s schedule? That’s what normal people do.

If your child spreads runs around saying my child gave another child a blow job, when she doesn't know what a blowjob is then no, I will not be taking my kid to your birthday party or buying a gift. If your child has been consistently kind so far, then yes, we will buy a gift and I will gladly drive to the party.

Geez OP- I responded earlier, but I'm going to change my response. If another child said that about my DD, I would not be going out of my way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My introverted 13 year old doesn't have friends.

I'd drive a fair bit if he was invited somewhere.

This made me so sad, pp.

My character of a kid would definitely be your son's friend, he's very outgoing, talks to everyone & is super laid back.
He has been a gigantic influence on his younger cousin (also an introvert, with ADHD as well).

My nephew has a bit more of a challenge than being introverted though, as he's always struggled with picking up on social cues (which is very symptomatic in most kids with ADHD). This may also attribute to his introvertedness, but just talking it out with my son has helped him be more outgoing in leaps & bounds.

They just hang out, play xbox, my son has introduced him to his other friends & they'll role play in these scenarios & my son will play the part of my nephew when they do. That's the only way for my nephew to actually see things from another perspective. His friends will gives advice on how to maneuver having to talk in a big group or in front of the class & they most importantly discuss social cues (what they look like, what they mean, how to interpret them, when/why would a person use them & how to handle the situation when they do).

Pp, none of that has anything to do with your son, but my son loves meeting new kids from different schools. I'm not sure where you live but we live in Bethesda.
I'd be more than happy to give you an email address to reach me if you'd like your son to make a new friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My introverted 13 year old doesn't have friends.

I'd drive a fair bit if he was invited somewhere.

I'm sorry to hear that and I hope it changes.

We went through it for a long time too and went out of our way for potential, new friends. It got better for our DS and I hope it gets better for your DS.

[Anonymous]

Is this post correctly in the "teens and tweens" forum? Yeah, we had to schlep to birthday parties far away when DS was 9 and under, but now that he's in middle school, his friends just do something low-key with a few buddies locally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this post correctly in the "teens and tweens" forum? Yeah, we had to schlep to birthday parties far away when DS was 9 and under, but now that he's in middle school, his friends just do something low-key with a few buddies locally.

Yep, teens and tweens still have lazertag parties, paintball, spa parties, etc. The parents are willing to pay a lot of money or at least request people drive a bit and then actually surprise them that they have to pay their kid's way too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My introverted 13 year old doesn't have friends.

I'd drive a fair bit if he was invited somewhere.

It got better for ours once middle school was done. I hope it improves for your child, too.