I now think a paddling I received in middle school 50 years ago had sexual overtones

[Anonymous]

I think we can all agree OP needs help...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 54. When I was a kid, the teacher would give you a smack across the palm with a ruler if you misbehaved.

For more serious offenses, kids would be bent over and caned in front of the entire school.

If you misbehaved in an assembly, and there were no rulers or canes handy, the teacher would wade in and grab you, then smack you on the ass with the palm of their hand.

At the time this was considered unremarkable.

Don't remember any of them getting off on it, but then as now most teachers were female.

This just made me cry thinking of my own son. He has significant ADHD and even with medication, he has impulse control issues. Back then, he probably would have been smaked or canned daily.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. Why does this matter now?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You or the teacher?

+1

If you are associating paddling as being sxual then it is on you. heavy breathing can come from the exertion to hit some one. you have an interesting imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 years ago, how could your memory be accurate. I would let this go.

Post that in any of the Kavanaugh threads and you’ll have people saying old memories are crystal clear.

[Anonymous]

I would let it go at this point, but it's a good argument for not having paddling in school as a punishment. There are still private schools which do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 years ago, how could your memory be accurate. I would let this go.

I am 55 and I have very clear, exact memories of the times, when I was under 10, that my mom, dad, aunt, and grandfather beat the living sht out of me. Not something you ever forget.

[Anonymous]

So? Even if that were the case, why would you let this 5 minute event impact your life 50 years later?

[Anonymous]

I was a substitute teacher in Ohio in 1987. I still remember the vice principal entering my classroom and paddling two students. 7th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was pretty well behaved in school but once I was taken out into the hallway for a paddling. I forget for what. It was just three relatively-mild but loud swats. I'm a guy and it was a male teacher. Thinking back on the teacher, he was kind of weird. My offense, I suspect, was mild. He was kind of grabby before the paddling -- on my upper arm. He was breathing a bit more heavily than usual. I wonder if perversion entered into his interest in me that day. I suppose it is too late but something inside of me says I should raise hell with the school -- the teacher is deceased. I probably won't do anything, but wanted to throw this out for comment, encouragement, discouragement.

Does thinking about it make you feel aroused?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let it go at this point, but it's a good argument for not having paddling in school as a punishment. There are still private schools which do this.

There are still PUBLIC schools that do this--it's legal in 19 states! I posted a link to an article yesterday, did you see it? In Maryland it was still legal until 1993!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So? Even if that were the case, why would you let this 5 minute event impact your life 50 years later?

Ask Christine Ford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a substitute teacher in Ohio in 1987. I still remember the vice principal entering my classroom and paddling two students. 7th graders.

I was new to my rural Ohio elementary school as a fifth grader in 1978; my parents and I met the principal in his office. I stared at this weird paddle on his wall and immediately and by way of introduction, the principal remarked that the paddle was merely symbolic. He explained he could (legally) use it, but never had!

[Anonymous]

During the my last four years of catholic grammar school I had Brothers and some of them were sadists. Rulers across the hand, pointers whipped across the back of your legs, lucite yard stick across the butt, face slaps. I don't know if there were sexual overtones but I wouldn't be surprised. The school eventually kicked them all out for physical abuse. I also had Brothers in HS who were not as sadistic but I was pretty sure there were sexual overtones. 40 something years later it became a scandal and some of the Brothers in my era were identified.

[Anonymous]

OP's thought that the paddling may have been sexual should not simply be dismissed, even if 50 years ago, given the repeated disclosures of sexual and other types of abuse in a lot of school and institutional settings having taken place, sometimes for decades, even if a long time ago. FWIW I have had relatives disclose childhood sexual abuse after they reached 80 or 90 years old--maybe in some cases just because anyone they were not comfortable knowing has passed on.

OP, there's a big distance between being bothered by this memory (and whatever memories, if any, it is linked to for you) and raising hell--but you are the only one who can ever decided past is past, just forget about it. IDK if your question about sexual connotations has always been there or if something you have learned or experienced more recently raises that question. I think you might want to (if not already) explore this with a therapist, preferably one with a cognitive psychology orientation. (I would, frankly, stay away from someone who is very oriented to identifying/treating abuse. Although there should not be bias in that area, there can be, and that just messes with your head. I had a therapist in the late 80s in the middle of a lot of craziness (the mass prosecutions of alleged child sex abusers in daycares but also just in small town communities that were basically Salem trials all over again) who had me going to an incest survivors group because he believed I was the victim of parental sexual abuse. The complicating factor was that I WAS the victim of sexual abuse (more like sexual hazing conduct I would say) by brothers (I'm female) and I was also the doted on daughter (vs my brothers who had very difficult relationships with our dad, not uncommon with that generation in those times I think) . . . anyway, it really worried me for awhile that I really did have "unrecovered memories" and the fear was very difficult. Ultimately I don't believe it and frankly don't care if it turned out did happen. But that is a place I arrived at, not a place I was told to go.

It could be (or not) that there was an issue, that there are other aging victims out there. But there would probably be better ways (again, therapy would be part of that, some detective work, connecting with old classmates, being open to stories people tell without pushing an agenda) to get at those truths if it were to come to that.